Hello im new here: I am a 51 yo male... - The Simon Foundat...

The Simon Foundation for Continence

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Hello im new here

Dindiapers profile image
8 Replies

I am a 51 yo male. Im married. I have been wearing diapers for many years now but until now I have worn because of stress urges but I didn't have to wear them all the time. Well last February I fell and really messed up my back now I leak and have uncontrollable urges so for the past several months I had to wear a diaper full time. I am looking for a group to talk to and get pointers from.

8 Replies
Equilibrated profile image
Equilibrated

Hi there, I joined this forum for the same reason. Just trying to find some others out there who are dealing with wearing diapers full-time. Let me know if you want to talk or have any questions.

Dindiapers profile image
Dindiapers in reply to Equilibrated

Hello my name is Doug I live in Pennsylvania originally im from Colorado. If you dont mind me asking why are uou in diapers? I started wearing many yrs ago due to stress inconvenience but it would come and go I didnt wear them a lot but due to a fall I had last February I really messed up my back I have to wear diapers all the time.

Throughout the years I have gotten use to them or soni thought. I am coming up against some different experience.

Rope_Wrench profile image
Rope_Wrench

Hello Doug,

Take comfort that you are not alone. Both in having to wear as well as how it makes you feel not having a choice. I am 48 so we are close to the same age however our causes are different. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or of you just need to vent to let it out.

Dindiapers profile image
Dindiapers in reply to Rope_Wrench

Thanks for responding

I had an auto accident years ago and I was going over some trauma with that and I started wearing then but then the urgency lightened up and I would only wear a diaper once in a while I kind of got used to them and then last February I fell and hurt my back and now I leak some to where I pretty much have been wearing 24/7 for the last 6 months or so. My wife's been supportive. Now it's getting to where I have several doctor's appointments and I think some of my friends are figuring out now that I wear diapers so I'm trying to embrace it but like I said it's a little embarrassing I went into the doctor's office the other day and they did a test on me where I had a gown on but I was laying there with my diaper showing. So I'm trying to come to terms with it because it looks like I'm going to be wearing diapers for the rest of my life one thing that's hard for me is I'm what my wife's calls a man's man and I don't know how to tell my friends .

Rope_Wrench profile image
Rope_Wrench in reply to Dindiapers

I know full and well how being in a manly trade adds more anxiety to the whole situation. I work in the public service field and it was a huge struggle for me too. I have been wearing full time for over 10 years now and I can testify that it is not as obvious as most would think. There are little tips and tricks to mask what we wear and how we manage this issue. I hope you dont mind but I sent you a PM with my email if you would like to converse more freely.

Best of luck to you Doug.

incon1982 profile image
incon1982Partner

Welcome to the group! Other men your age, I see, have already answered and are offering ideas and support. Always feel free to ask questions here, and know that you are among friends and people who truly understand. Incontinence is something that people of every age contend with. Symptoms range widely, as do the causes. Many people are in incontinence products their entire lives.

Learning who you can tell about your incontinence and how to tell them is not easy. You want to tell people who will be supportive. There is a free guide available that you can use to help you decide who to tell ... and who not to. It's at this link: totellornot.org/

Most doctors and nurses have seen a lot of people wearing incontinence briefs/pads/diapers/catheters so you should be able to relax a bit around them. With millions of Americans wearing these products, they have seen it all. Yes, it if definitely hard the first few times in a doctor's office or if you are having an x-ray or procedure, but they should be understanding. If you get someone who isn't, report it, as it absolutely should not be tolerated and is completely inappropriate behavior from a healthcare worker.

My late husband had full on incontinence due to a neurological disease, and anytime he had a medical appointment or a procedure of any type, before anything started, he told them he was wearing an adult incontinence product and they were always very nice and reassuring to him. We never had anyone not treat him with anything less than total respect and kindness.

I do hope you will find lots of help and support here.

Dindiapers profile image
Dindiapers in reply to incon1982

Thank you

Cinderal profile image
Cinderal

welcome aboard,

Hi there, I too joined this forum for the same reason. I am 72 and underwent prostate surgery and subsequent radiation therapy which clobbered my bladder. The radiation caused an outlet obstruction and the surgery caused incontinence. I alternate between self-catheterization so my bladder does not close and diaper wearing so I don't make a mess for my wife.

this forum has been a game changer for my head..

I hope we help and would be happy to discuss anything

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