Feeling Anxious

[Meditator110]

I have Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) I am feeling very anxious and lonely this holiday season. I live alone in Los Angeles. My family is all back East in New York. My fiancé died and 2 BFF's friends died. My "so called" friends are not there for me. I really need more support.

[suryakaizen]

Dear Meditator110 , my daughter went through the whole 9 yards with breast cancer diagnosis and treatment in 2016 and 2017. And the hormone medication and side effects thereafter till now. Although she has not lost dear people like you have, she was recently diagnozed with rheumatoid arthritis in her hands, and has been going through the same feelings that you have shared here. A good bit of it has to do with 'end of the year' feelings and thoughts on top of not knowing what the future will be like health-wise. A few quotes from others continue to support both my daughter Aisha and me:

"Hope is a discipline" (I came across this in a Buddhist article yeaterday)

"Aetadapi gamishyathi" (A Sanskrit phrase 'this too will pass')

If we were nearby, rather than in Bangalore India, we could have got together over a drink and some good conversation. But this online platform (bless Health Unlocked for this) has to do for now. I pray your health improves, which, to me, is more important than 'those friends' (my grandson calls them 'frenemies'). With a lot of love and good wishes for your recovery.

[Meditator110 in reply to suryakaizen]

Thank you for sharing about your daughter and that she validates my feelings. I like that term "frenemies" I wish her and you well. Wish you were both closer but glad you reached out.💜

[NPmary]

Sad and sorry for you. I have had MBC since 2017. Friends I thought I had, I do not. My best friend who had a chronic illness (we texted and shared everything every day). Died this past June in hospice. I am grateful for my daughter and grandsons I live with. Nothing can replace my friend. If you are well enough to driveI suggest you find a cancer support group you can attend and take care of yourself. Do things again that you can, things that once sparked joy, do something new to you that might bring comfort, that might bring you to a place of peace.Wishing you love, comfort, peace.

❤️💔🌺💔❤️

[Meditator110 in reply to NPmary]

Thanks. So sorry about your losing your friend.

[Jg1960]

I'm sorry for the loss you have gone through.

I agree with all of NPmary's suggestions. Actively search for support groups and be open to making new friends and creating new adventures. I do not have MBC (yet, as it is always a distinct possibility) but you do find out who your real friends are when diagnosed. Maybe, if you are up for it, try to reconnect with some of those who you have lost touch with - perhaps they will react differently now that they have had time to absorb. Most people really don't know what to do or say and fear saying the wrong thing, mostly they are just scared. Starting a gratitude journal may be helpful - write down a few things each day you are thankful for - can be big things or little things like a nice warm cup of tea on a cold day. The more you look for things to be grateful for the more you will find and it can be very uplifting.

Please realize you are not alone and many of us will listen and support you even if it is electronically! I have found this group to be very caring and comforting. I am sure you have more strength than you realize, sometimes we need to dig a bit deeper within to find it. Stay strong. Sending you a big hug.