Feeling stuck

[Katatonia]

I have had breast cancer twice now, 2018 (stage 2) and 2022 (stage 1). I completed 16 rounds of chemo followed by 5 weeks of radiation over the summer. I got laid off from my job while on medical leave, and now I find myself stuck. Any tips on how to unstick myself and get the motivation to find a new job and move forward? I just feel a bit untethered or lost. Thank you!

[suryakaizen]

Dear Katatonia I really don't know what to say to you, I feel helpless. Once is bad enough and twice is too much! And then to get laid off! I hope the treatments were not too bad and you are recovering from the effects of these. I can only quote someone who inspires me to this day - Arthur Ashe Jr. who said "Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can."

I suggest you explore taking up a remote job, even if it does not pay much. This will give you the push to restart work. I just want to quote from my family experience, although this is from Bangalore, India: My younger married daughter developed psoriasis and with it, arthritis, which put paid to working outside the home. She then took a short course in content writing which I pushed her to do, after which she posted being available for jobs on LinkedIn. One business called and asked her if she would do a series of write-ups on pottery cookware which they were launching. She took it up, although the pay was pretty low and she had to do a lot of research into the history of pottery and why clay cookware and so on. This was for a few months.

She continued to post her CV on LinkedIn saying she was open to remote work. Then other employers contacted her. Now she works as a Virtual Assistant to a start-up founder in Mumbai who has found her skills in listening, noting and internal networking valuable as he is so all-over-the-place in the way he works. She's also getting a pretty good salary, though not as much as in-person work, but she's happy. Her psoriasis has gone with treatment, she has time to do yoga for her arthritis. There are days she has to work long hours but on the whole, she is in a far better place than she was 2 years ago.

I hope I have not bored you with my sharing. I am concerned about you and wish you recover good health and well being and a meaningful life. Lakshmi

[Katatonia in reply to suryakaizen]

Thank you, this is great advice and what a wonderful journey your daughter has had. I think being open to something new, no matter what the pay, could help. Thank you!

[Multigravida1956]

So sorry to hear about your situation. I found chemo really effected my mental health. Exercising and walking with others not only made me feel physically stronger but improved my mental health.

Sending my best wishes. X

[Katatonia in reply to Multigravida1956]

Thank you. I do work out every day and find that helps keep me sane. I just wish I could get unstuck and start moving forward.

[Lifeisnow]

Hello Katatonia,

Massive congratulations for getting through two diagnoses and treatments!!

I am in the middle of my second bout of breast cancer. I reconnected with my counsellor which I am finding very helpful. Talking is good. Asking for advice from friends or family might help but choose who to talk to carefully! Judgement isn’t helpful now!

I also did an online career questionnaire which gave me some good ideas.

Also - do not underestimate what you have been through. You are strong, resilient and brilliant. Take time for self care and wellness. I have found YouTube yoga videos to be very helpful in reminding me how the vast majority of my body works really well.

You might be able to find a local group for cancer sufferers and survivors. Connection with people who understand will be invaluable.

Go Well xxx

[Katatonia in reply to Lifeisnow]

Thank you! I have joined a support group and also have been working with my therapist, but going through this again has really taken a toll on my mental health. I like the idea of a career questionnaire since I am at a crossroads there as well. Good luck with your treatment!! Doing this twice is not fun.