Should I become celibate?: I have no... - Sexual Health Mat...

Sexual Health Matters

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Should I become celibate?

MasterofDisaster3 profile image

I have no body confidence. I think my body belongs in the trash. I wish I could just be a floating brain moving throughout my daily life. I can't self pleasure and I hate the idea of having sex with anyone. Physically sexual pleasure feels good. But psychologically it feels like an obligation. If I don't have it I won't have a good relationship with anyone. Being unable to orgasm will depress my partner and make them feel bad about themselves. Or if I just straight up tell them no EVERY time they want to have sex they will leave me. But I just can't have that emotional vulnerability. I can't do it. So should I just become celibate and give uo sex forever for the sake of my own sanity?

5 Replies
Hidden profile image

Hi don’t beat your self up about this. You need to relax and learn about your body first. Don’t worry about sex with other people just now. Have you tried masturbating with a sex toy ? Take your time and fantasise about someone or a situation that turns you on. It would be such a waste if you gave up your sexual pleasure.

MasterofDisaster3 profile image
MasterofDisaster3 in reply to Hidden

No I haven't and I never will. The idea of any type of pleasure makes me feel gross on the inside.

Retiredteacher67 profile image
Retiredteacher67 in reply to Hidden

Great advice.


there are some [for you] hard realities when it comes to relationships. intimacy is a requirement for almost all relationships. emotional intimacy, and yes, sexual intimacy. vulnerability is the REAL key to having a fulfilling relationship. you CAN have a fulfilling relationship without sex. but it will be much harder to find a partner that's looking for the same thing. but if this is truly what you want - you should seek what you want. but you have to know - that's a hard path, with fewer available options.

the idea that you are grossed out by any kind of self pleasure - this concerns me more than anything else. self pleasure is part of self love. it sounds like you don't have much love for yourself... but this has already been established from your last post that i replied to.

you simply cannot find love in others until you accept love of self. have you considered the root cause for your inability to accept love of self?? have you sought any professional help to find these answers? i'm offering that you may want to consider these options....

i'm suggesting that if you can find love of self, that you will be able to accept self pleasure. and if you can do that; you'll be better equipped to handle and accept intimacy - of all types. and thru all of that - you can find fulfillment in both yourself, and in your relationships....

everyone is capable of this. it appears to me that this would be difficult for you - but it's NOT impossible. you can get there - but it will take work.

I don't really want to get there. But thank you. 💓

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