I am only 21 and i have been suffering from erectile dysfunction for approximately 6months - not being able to get an erection at all. I have bought over the counter tablets such as viagra from pharmacys which have had literally zero help at all. All i read on the internet is bad things about it and how hard it is to reverse it. I live a healthy and active lifestyle i exercise 4/5times a week and i am at a healthy weight i dont smoke and drink alcohol maybe 3/4 times a month. Unexpectedly about 2months ago i met this girl and even though i knew about the problems i had we have been seeing eachother but i have never got an erection with her and I always have to make an excuse about not having sex with her. I am too scared to tell her as i have not known her that long. This is really affecting my life and making me down and depressed. I am also too scared to tell anyone about this as its embarrassing and i am starting to think there is no solution to the problem.
Does anyone have any successful storys on this topic and any advice would would be great and is much needed as i really dont know where to go from here!
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Jonjo12354
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You should definitely arrange to see your GP and have yourself medically examined to rule out potential organic causes, but I hope to be able to put your mind at ease by reminding you that, at just 21, the root of your problem is almost certainly NOT organic. From experience, I can tell you that you're likely encountering a psychological barrier to gaining an erection....
I suffered from erectile difficulties for a period of a few months during my mid-30s; while certainly a bit older than you are right now, I was still relatively young for a guy to have that issue. At the time I had a regular sexual partner, and unfortunately I allowed my erectile dysfunction to spoil (needlessly, as there was considerable understanding) the situation. My GP pronounced me healthy and could offer no real reason for the sudden difficulty in gaining an erection, but he suggested that I'd probably fallen into a "mental hole" by somehow allowing myself to doubt my virility, by accident. Thus, I'd set up a psychological spiral into my own lack of confidence.... In hindsight, I believe that his pronouncement was entirely correct.
Having been prescribed tadalafil (Cialis) as a temporary aid to getting an erection, I tried the therapy with mixed results... I was able to achieve at least semi-erections, but these always felt a little artificial and uncomfortable, especially when they 'hung around' after the act! But I also listened to the reassurance from him that, whatever the hidden stressors (which I never actually uncovered), the condition would resolve by itself without any specific intervention, and thus stayed patient and avoided putting pressure on myself or allowing myself to feel beaten. Ultimately, he was correct once again... within a few more weeks, the hardening-up simply returned, and pretty much spontaneously!
I hope that your GP can point you in the right direction here. Definitely, if organic causes can be ruled out for you (most likely), you'll benefit from being given an opportunity to explore any hidden stressors that may simply have flicked the off-switch! So, please don't lose heart... and do provide an update on your progress. Best wishes, buddy!
I don’t know the solution to your problem but I do know, from a female perspective, that as your girlfriend I’d want to know. I understand it’s embarrassing but chances are she knows there is a problem and that you’re trying to put off having sex with her but she doesn’t know what the problem is. She might even think it’s something to do with her.
I know you haven’t been together long but if she really likes you, she’ll be understanding and supportive. It’ll be a huge weight off of your shoulders and you might even find the problem improves if you are less stressed about it.
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