introduction

[toofreakedout]

I hope that I will have a chance to hear more from men who feel similarly to me about these things. I have always been tied to medical people and without fail they have creeped me out. so much the worse when i finally had to surrender to the urologist. it was HORRIBLE. they needed to do a test where they run a camera down the pipe and i went in and this nurse was just like drop your pants and underwear and sit there! there was no paper no curtain and she stood there just like some kind of freak! when she realized i was frozen in fear she offered a paper drape then soon as i sat down she snatched it right back off again. since then it has only been worse to worse. And now I go for my annual physical and had that whole issue with him having a nurse in the room as he did those things too. I just cant seem to win. I'm totally freaked out and have basically given up on whatever help they offer... it seems that is not so much a help either since their "fixing " only seems to create even more problems uggg!

[jimreilly]

I have been so freaked out by this particular test (or being catheterized while conscious) they I have refused to have it done unless they put me out for it--my doc said he's had a few other patients like me, and he "understands"--and it seems like he really does; why I am more freaked out by it than other people (who have told me,. "oh, yes, it was a little uncomfortable, but I've had worse") I don't know, but I am; we're all different

[toofreakedout in reply to jimreilly]

I realize that much of the problem stems from childhood abuse( sexual) and that it happened once in hospital. Thing is the doc should know this as well. I told him as best i could when we began our interaction. it is nearly impossible to talk myself into going and letting him touch me at all much less knowing the situation will devolve out of my control.with others there doing ... well to me it doesn't matter what they are doing. i tried at one time to have them do the sedation too at the urologists but that freaked me out even worse because I would be completely at their whim and I just can't let that happen. I have managed to force myself into doing what has to be done but generally I scratch myself to pieces before i get there which causes even more examination. If i have to go for surgery etc then I have to strong arm myself to get there( wife is a huge help) and then wait until the drugs come to calm some. it is better though than I thought it would be as a young man... I figured if I got in that position, my heart would just explode

[jimreilly in reply to toofreakedout]

I have speculated that my aversion may also be due to something that occurred in childhood, whether it was sexual abuse and/or something connected to medical experiences (I was sick a lot as a kid), but in my case if that is true I have no memory of whatever experience(s) it/they might be. I have talked about this with a counselor and that has brought some limited understanding. I am lucky that the idea of sedation does not freak me out (I have met others who are freaked out by it--you are not alone). From knowing people who have been abused as children I think that most people do not even begin to understand how feelings like those you describe can be triggered and how strong those feelings can be. And those people include doctors. I know therapy has helped many people in your circumstances, and I presume you have already explored that. I wish I knew a "magic thing" to suggest; I know that thinking about pleasant things or cracking jokes isn't enough for me. Sounds like you have summoned some bravery to deal with this.

[toofreakedout in reply to jimreilly]

thank you for your understanding , just that helps some to know i am not completely alone. I was in therapy for a number of years and yes it is helpful but i have had to stop because of changes in insurance. I really don't know why the doctor began the policy of chaperones and i don't care what experience they have or don't or anything about them. to me it is all about feeling, MY feeling and trying to manage those feelings so i don't feel this constant dread of going back there. I have always had issues that force me to remain involved with the doctors I cant afford not to see him for too long. but I wont allow him to do the physical exam, or anything else of a similar nature , as long as that is his policy

[therapist1965]

Hi. When I had my prostate examined the (male) doctor explained he had to have a chaperone - in this case a female nurse- to supervise the examination. I think this is due to protect him from patient allegations of sexual misconduct. This is sad but I guess they live in a climate where suing is pretty rife. The matter of fact nurse you described- well maybe she's protecting herself too - a too warm/understanding nurse may be interpreted the wrong way. She's remaining clinical. For her protection and may be even your sake.

Medical examinations are hardly comfortable. You feel exposed, yes. I guess this is a time where it's best to think of nicer/other things while the medical world do what they need to do. Or put some humour in it somehow by cracking a joke. It can relax everyone and make their often tedious day a better one!

[Flutterbies]

I’m the opposite. I get so frustrated with the lack of exposure when I visit the doctor. I wish they would tell me to get completely undressed and then have a group of students come in. I know that’s twisted.. but I hate how modest we are..

[toofreakedout]

I can't even imagine that I recently had surgery and in recovery I realized they had taken my gown and did whatever cleanup etc and changed the gown .. it still is making me I'll