Hi, all.
i have just discovered this site. I am a 12 year survivor. I was diagnosed right before my 41st birthday. I have never really been able to talk with gay men who have been in this situation. I would be welcome to sharing experiences, issues, etc.
I wish I had known about this site much much earlier!
Hi Arts, what issues would you like to discuss? I’m open to anything. (That sounds like my Grindr profile. )
Thanks for responding , Tall. So many things. LOL. But mostly I guess about sexual performance and continence.
Yes? What about them?
Hey Arts...., I'm another 12 year survivor, but without the side effects you mention. I was Dx at 67, now 79. Like Allen I'm open to discuss anything that I know about.
The two items you mention are the prime foci of the study sponsored by UMinn & Malecare. Many of us are involved and find it is good and helpful. They are still looking for about 100 more guys, so jump on it. I was worried about joining because I had already done many of their procedures for 12 years already. But they assure me that my data will be useful to "flesh out" our end of the bell curve.
Www.malecare.org/restore
Welcome to the group ArtsTeacher. I am 59 from Australia. My RP surgery is scheduled for 28 August. Daily, I go from the carefree - I'll be fine: no cancer no incontinence no ED - to the totally terrified where everything goes horribly wrong. My surgeon is making some very impressive claims backed up by independent research including MSKCC. I'm taking it very seriously: I have started the exercise regime to hopefully minimise incontinence; I have filled a Cialis script to take in advance of surgery. I will totally miss everything while recovering: sex, cycling, being unambiguously dry. In the long run I know I am going to miss cumming - badly. Cancer sucks.
I am 7 years out from surgery, and while everything is different for each man, here is my advice: Maintain a healthy sense of humor (though telling co-workers before surgery that "You have to be nice to me -- I have cancer" might have been a little over the top). Be very, very inventive when it comes to sex. It took me half an hour to jack off the first time after surgery; none of the old moves worked. Work on rehab, but don't equate your basic masculinity with hard-ons. ED is just a problem with hydraulics. As for incontinence, resume Kegels as soon as possible. I can still have minor leakage in some situations, but I know when it's likely and how to deal. I had leakage after rectal surgery years ago, and a little pee pales in comparison to filling your undies with shit. Just tell a partner you might leak before he tackles your member. As far as cum goes, I still miss the hell out of it, but i make do with other guys' output. I'm working on improving my oral skills.
Hi Arts! Welcome! 56 yo here. Diagnosed at 53. RP in 2016. Major issues with incontinence and sexual performance. Had a lupron shot last week. Radiation next month. Looking forward to sharing with you.
Hello Arts
Welcome. I am a recent member to this site and certainly appreciate it and am grateful it is here. I will share this ... I was 68 when diagnosed - 71 now and do so struggle with the loss of sexual activity. This has been the most unexpected turn of events in my life. I have always " bounced back " . I heard a Ted talk with Nora McInerny about not moving " on " but about moving " forward " Interesting how thinking about it that way has brought comfort.
Best to you - and again - welcome
Hello Mr. Teacher, Good to hear from you. I am 74 yrs and I stopped therapy for PCa last year. My T count is 27, my PSA 0.06, and I am incontinent. I have been doing Kegels and that helps slow it down. I can masturbate again with no ejaculate, so less to clean up! I was on Lupron injections for 6 1/2 years and my penis is much smaller than it was, but I think it will get larger when my T level is closer to 360. I am involved in going to church at the MCC church in Orlando. They helped me by prayer get through this and I now have 5 years clean from drug abuse and they prayed for that too! I am really happy to just be alive at this point. I sponcer people in 12-step programs and get involved with gay and lesbian issues. Some days I have no energy, but I push through and keep going. I was a CVS pharmacist for 35 years. I am selling my Condo and moving into a retirement building in downtown Orlando, so I can pull a cord to call a nurse if I can not get out of bed. I also have heart disease, kidney disease and diabetes. I never know which one is worse. So I am selling this place and have people coming into see it. I have to have everything in place and it is driving me crazy!! I have two cats and I am taking them with me. So that is my life and I am enjoying it. I wish you well and will answer any questions.
Thanks for joining in. I am glad to be part of the RESTORE study. Before diagnosis I would not have acknowledged how important ejaculation was in my life. Certainly feel it differently now. I am blessed with an understanding and patient partner👬 ❤️ and a willingness to explore whatever works. I DO miss cum...as one guy said, even a few drops would be great. In my support group in Providence we are looking at how PCa affects our partners, too. It is not just the patient/host who suffers. Hope some of you enjoyed Bear Week at P-town.
Misdirected anger? 
Just over Surgery
Tomorrow the surgery
It's just beginning...
Just diagnosed
