Struggling to work in pregnancy

[Applecrumblemumma]

I had my first 12 years ago and I was in a position to leave my job at 20 weeks- which is what I am now with my second all these years later, but I'll be honest, my body is not loving pregnancy this time round and it does feel like everything is that bit harder (things weren't easy before). I also work in an environment which makes my uncomfortable to be pregnant in as it is mental health based and there are risks involved. On top of that my hormonesmake everything impossible and i can't stop crying.... I guess I was just wanting to ask how all you 30+ mummy's are juggling work, relationships, kids, home life and pregnancy. And any tips that help the emotions not to raise too high? I'm such an emotional mess!!

[Yellowlove]

Oh bless you, I’m currently 12 weeks with my first and 44 years old, and whilst I don’t have it as tough as you I just wanted to say that I understand how hard it is to manage the emotions that come with pregnancy. I’ve been feeling just physically drained, luckily my doctor has signed off work from home for me as my journey was 2 hours into London so I am very lucky that I get time to rest- which is the key for me. Do you have an understanding manager that you can talk to?

[flamingopher]

Your work should be doing a risk assessment and make reasonable adjustments to ensure your safety. As yellowlove said, talk to your manager and see if you can step back from the areas you don’t feel safe. Talk to occupational health if you have one - their first priority is you and can give you backup to get things adjusted.

If all else fails go and see your GP and get some time off.

I had a hard pregnancy too (I was 38 when I had him) and you just have to get through it the best you can. Be a bit selfish (although it’s really not selfish) and put yourself first, work will cope without you!

[Stargirl26 in reply to flamingopher]

Hi there,

Congratulations on your pregnancy, remember the beauty of what is happening even though the world is throwing lots at you to handle. You’re making a new life so you have to go easy on yourself.

The best thing I found is being honest and transparent to everyone involved and knowing what you want to change can help and take away some awkwardness with relationships and employer etc. With work, book a meeting to say 1) this is how I feel 2) this is what I’d like to change to make me better able to do my job 3) can we discuss how to make this happen. Then same approach with your relationship. The crying makes it difficult and I know as I cried a lot in my pregnancy too so thinking about it before hand, writing it down, can really help so you don’t get clouded by emotions.

Hope that’s helpful ☺️

[Applecrumblemumma]

Thank you all so much.

That is all very helpful and practical too, said with a lot of empathy, I thank you.

A lot of what you've said is bang on and common sense, I think I haven't applied any of it because I have just been so overwhelmed and I'm a perfectionist so I hate thinking I can't keep up with every one else. I do have a wonderful manager, but I've recently been promoted and will have a new manager, I've no idea what she will be like so that's a little nerve wracking too. But it is a simpler role... I hope. Fingers crossed come the new year in my new role I'll be feeling more confident and secure before mat leave.

Thank you for your support and kindness, all of you- Beautiful souls.

Wishing you all the very best xxx