Sleeping!!! Or not

[TeamOwen2020]

Hello, we are looking for some ideas for our 5.5 month old bubba who screams most nights before bed and is very unsettled initially before sleeping for 3 hours max and is then up every hour and reluctant to sleep in is cot next to me. He has never slept through and always woke regularly which I can handle if he sleeps in his bed but I’m concerned about him sleeping on me. Tried bed sharing but won’t lay on the bed.

Initially thought screaming was 4 month regression but them at should have last!!!

Sorry a couple of issues there!

TIA

[Rox9797]

Do you put baby down fully asleep or awake? We’ve tried a couple of things with our now 7 month old, we had him in a swaddle for quite a while and this seemed to settle him and worked until he could wriggle out of it and then we moved onto a sleeping bag☺️ We’ve also introduced a comforter as he wasn’t fussed for one when he was younger but now won’t sleep without it and this gives him something to cuddle and we’ve also introduced lullaby music when we put him down to sleep, he finds it’s really comforting! It can be really hard and we really struggled with him at first but now we have mostly good nights, still the odd bad night which is expected☺️

[TeamOwen2020 in reply to Rox9797]

Hello, thanks for your reply. Bub goes down asleep otherwise will cry. I have only managed to get him to fall asleep Independently once and that was a nap with music. Never did it again with same routine.

Think we will try a comforter. Do you put your smell on it?

[Rox9797 in reply to TeamOwen2020]

Yeah the first time we introduced it, i let him cuddle me the comforter squashed in with us so that it had my scent☺️ We really struggled implementing a routine at first and found that some nights everything we’ve done the previous night didn’t work but as hard as it was and believe me some nights I cried, we had to keep going, you’ll get there and baby will soon be snoozing away☺️

[Dungenness]

My second baby is now 9months and I’m much more relaxed about the sleep thing than I was with my first. He’s only just started to sleep in a cot alone and manages about 5 hours max but transitioning him has not been hard and he’ll get there gradually. The rest of the time he sleeps on my chest and he’s fine. With my first I tried to get him to sleep alone at 6 months and it was stressful and tiring. He slept by my side until over a year, but tended to do the first few hours of the night in his room. They are both breastfed ( well not my eldest now as he’s 5!) and I think they can get hungry at night, or just feel safer with you. I’m confident my second will get there. My eldest slept through reliably from about 2.5 and rarely gets into bed with us. I know other parents who sleep trained more strictly and earlier but now their children are 7/8 years old still get into bed with them at 2am. A gentle approach when tiny I think leads to them sleeping better when older .

[TeamOwen2020 in reply to Dungenness]

Thanks for your message. Yes definitely prefer the gentle approach

[Hidden]

We had a screaming bubba until the colic went by month 5, I sympathize! My girl is not a good sleeper !! Some babies are just made that way it sucks we got to do what we can ! Sounds like you are doing a great job!!

I would keep swapping around prebed activities until something reduces the upsrt, like maybe skip the bath or split the bottle before and after a book, sometimes it can be small things, like not changing location too much before bedtime. I do a long book session with my girl like read at least 4 books that are probably a bit old for her with a good story as she calms down with it... But not sure what stage you baby gets upset before bed.

Sometimes they go through a phase of not getting through sleep cycles early on in evening...

When you say he won't lay on the bed to co-sleep with you do you mean because you pop him down awake next to you? Can you let him fall asleep on you and transfer... Do look up safe bedsharing positions for ideas. It's tricky if they are writhing to get settled I keep getting hands grabbing my nose ...have you got the Moshi ap? That's quite nice sleep stories, relaxes me anyway!

Good luck

[TeamOwen2020 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks very much for your message and kind words. Will have a look at the routine to see what changes we can make.

He is usually awake when placing him next to me. Occasionally he has been asleep and the outcome is usually the same he doesn’t like it and cries. I need to find a comfortable and safe position for him.

[Hidden]

P.s. what your describing sounds like s biologically natural and not because of something you are doing or not doing!! Good luck

[TeamOwen2020]

Thanks again. That’s reassuring

[Kata89]

When you say screaming do you mean crying loudly or actually screaming?

I only ask as my daughter literally screamed for about 2 months before being diagnosed with silent reflux. She never slept, unless dream feeding, and would never allow me to put her down.

[TeamOwen2020]

Hey hey! Many thanks for your reply. It starts off as a loud cry that becomes screaming. That could be something we could look into. Thanks. We are unsure as he more often than will sleep for the first part of the night after his scream fest so it is difficult to work out what it could be. Trying so many avenues/ thanks again