Sleeping out

[Rebecca2019]

Hi just wanting to know what everyone else allows and what people’s thoughts are.

My LG is turning 8 months in a few days and has only slept out at her grandparents once when she was 4 weeks old as me and her dad where at a family event.

I would love for her to have set days to sleep out just so she gets use to it as I don’t want her being clingy and not wanting to spend time with others as I’m due back at work soon.

However my partner is so set against her sleeping out anywhere, every time I mention it we end up having a huge argument as he doesn’t think it’s right. I wouldn’t be so bothered but she’s just recently started waking in the night again and he won’t get up with her ever!!

I’m just wanting to know how old everyone else’s littles where when they started sleeping out and what’s others thoughts on it??

[destiny121]

I think it’s definitely a decision you’ll both have to discuss as I had the same issues with my partner. I also think at 8 months baba is a little older and as long as you’re totally comfortable with the way in which she’ll be looked after then it’s fine. Sometimes we have to let go a little and of course we need a bit of time to ourselves. I obviously don’t know how hands on your partner is and whether you’re at home all day with her. But my partner had the same opinion of yours and I just told him bluntly we need time to ourselves now and again and plus I’m at home all day with the baby so if I want a nights break then that’s it.... and I did it. And the funny thing now is he enjoys it tooo. 😊😊

[Rebecca2019 in reply to destiny121]

I totally agree my family have always had little ones around so they are great with them, I’m always home with her he works all week them on weekends spends time to himself and I get nothing not even a little break unless I let someone look after her for a few hours whilst he’s at work.

I’m going to give it a go Thankyou x

[Claireeeeeeeeeeeee]

It's such an individual decision my daughter still hasn't and she is 2 and 2 months. She is still breastfeed just before bed and she tends to wake once at 11 so I would hate to not be there when she did. However I have friends who had their children stay over a lot soon and some like me who still don't. There is no right answer, it's up to you both to decide. Though I would say staying over when they are young will give you no indication on how clingy they will be later. I supposedly slept over at other people's houses great when I was a baby and a toddler and then refused from 3 till about 11. My brother the opposite. Children are just unpredictable it seems.

[Pasaeoco01]

Hey there, it’s a tricky one if you both have different views. Just out of interest when he doesn’t think it’s right - why is that? Is it because he thinks she should always be at home or is it because he doesn’t want to impose on the grandparents? How do the grandparents feel? If they would really like to have her you could take the approach that you’re denying them the opportunity.

Alternatively, if he thinks she should always be at home I agree with other posters that so you can have a night off either he gets up or allow her to spend the night out!

There may be times in future where she needs to be cared for elsewhere like in an emergency or if you were poorly so now would be a good time to set that routine rather than when required when it’ll likely upset her as it’ll come out of the blue.

In my view given that you do the night shift I think this is your call really - as long as you’re happy with the environment st grandparents of course. It might be worth checking in the real reason he doesn’t want her to sleep out - because ‘it isn’t right’ doesn’t really qualify as a real reason in my book!!!

Good luck!

[Rebecca2019 in reply to Pasaeoco01]

He just thinks she should be at home, where out for a meal tonight with his family and my parents are minding our LG we won’t be home till well after 9 and he would rather ruin her sleep and pick her up than let her sleep out, my parents would love to have her over night and so would his but he’s just been so difficult about everything x

[Pasaeoco01 in reply to Rebecca2019]

That seems a shame if grandparents would like to have her. I guess if he doesn’t want to change his mind and you’re not wanting to challenge him it looks like the best way forward is to accept her staying home for now.

[Hidden]

I think it’s just a personal choice. My LG has only slept out twice at my dads and I hated being away from her but she was absolutely fine.

She’s now 2.5 years and haven’t got any plans anytime soon but I know if we do then she would be absolutely fine as she is at the age where we explain a lot to her and she really takes it in and would probably be very excited to say at her grandads x

[claire16c]

Not until they were about 3 years old. Before that I was breastfeeding them or they were too worried to be apart. I didn’t spend a night apart from them until they were about 22 months.

So for me 8 months would have been far too young because they needed me at night. However old they are I would wait til they are sleeping through anyway so it’s fair for the person having them.

But I can see why you want to - why isn’t he getting up with her in the night? Don’t stand for that! Poke him awake! x

[Loopy_lass]

Hiya!

My little boy is 14 months old now and was breastfed and refused a bottle so I was unable to leave him with anyone even in the daytime. He also woke frequently in the night too so I was one tired mummy. He was very random in when he woke too so we couldn't really go out in the evenings and ask for a babysitter.I would of loved the opportunity to let someone else take care of him for a bit especially so me and my hubby could have an evening to ourselves and be able to catch up on some sleep. I think keep raising it with your partner. If your partner didn't want baby to stay over when you go out for your meal could your parents of babysat at yours until you got home? I hope you get some much needed rest soon xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

My daughter is nearly 20 months and never slept overnight anywhere else. Good attachment comes from having a strong relationship with a primary caregiver and children with strong attachments will be comfortable to be left when necessary, they don’t need to practise it. My daughter spends full days including nap time with grandparents and is fine. I haven’t needed her to stay overnight anywhere so she hasn’t, it’s not that I’m against it per se. BUT my OH helped to ensure I got enough sleep, even though I breastfed for 12 months so it basically had to be me who got up with her. If you’re not breastfeeding and you need a night off then maybe you could have a night away with your family and leave baby at home with your partner? He’d soon realise how hard it is to have to get up, and maybe change his tune about her having sleepovers?