Missed Miscarriage at 12 week scan

[Srider23]

Hi everyone,

Went for our 12 week scan yesterday after having a private scan about 3 weeks ago. At the early scan, everything was well and the heart beat was strong and they estimated I was 8weeks+5. We were over the moon.

I had no morning sickness throughout just lots of fatigue and achy boobs which I thought was normal. Was such a shock yesterday to find out that the baby had no heartbeat and had probably not survived past 9 weeks. It was our first pregnancy and I now feel like there’s something wrong with me? I killed the baby? Didn’t do something I should have? I just feel empty. I so want to be a mum and am just wondering why this happened.

The nurse said she couldn’t see any obvious reasons and it just happens but didn’t make me feel any better.

I’m worried that I’m 33 and it’s all getting too late.

Also thinking of the Medical Management and wondering if that’s the best thing too?

Sorry for the length of this post. Just looking for any advice at all xxx

[Emmaxxx]

I’m so sorry to hear this. But it is totally not your fault. Please try to be kind to yourself xx

[Afrohair]

Sorry about this I had one at 12.5 week also in my 30s it was my first misscarrige I’m now pregnant again and 18 weeks don’t worry too much one misscarrige doesn’t mean you will have another as you say sometimes it just happens and no reason you decide if you want to give birth naturally by tablets or medical instruments.i did it naturally and it was very traumatic for me and I wouldn’t opt for that again it was long hard and painful like really giving birth I wouldn’t want you to go through that when you’ve not even had a live baby yet as it really is like giving birth when your that far along.but obviously it’s your choice again I’m sorry this has happened all the best x

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry to hear your loss must’ve been a terrible shock. It was nothing you did wrong tho. Sadly 1-4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. You were just very unlucky nothing to say the next pregnancy wouldn’t be successful. I had my daughter following a 7 year struggle & a chemical pregnancy at 37! So you are definitely not too old. Thinking of you & hope you gave plenty of support during this difficult time xxx

[Cookie_92]

So sorry to hear about your loss. After a mmc ourselves, I know exactly how your feeling. Time is a great healer, take time for yourself and communicate with your OH too.

I had two medicals and one surgery, and personally, looking back I should have gone for surgery to start with.

Feel free to message any questions or anything at all.

xx

[Errxo]

So sorry to hear this, I know exactly how you feel simply as I had an early scan & then when I went for my 12 week scan, baby had no heartbeat even though I had seen it earlier.

It’s absolutely heartbreaking, just know it is nothing you did and the reality is 1 in 4 end in miscarriage & even though that’s the statistics it doesn’t make it any easier.

I’m now 24 weeks pregnant, and everything is going well. It will happen for you, just take time to heal mentally and physically & wishing you all the best for your future & health x

[Srider23 in reply to Errxo]

Thank you so much. That’s exactly how I feel at the moment.

Incredibly happy that you’re pregnant again and wishing you all the luck Xxx

[TheSeal]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks, it was my first pregnancy and I was 32. But now I am pregnant again, 18 weeks and for now seems all ok. So you're definitely not too old. Nothing you did was wrong, unfortunately 1 in 4 pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. We have been unlucky. The nurse told me the same thing, no obvious reason behind mine, it's likely that the baby had a chromosomal abnormality which would have been incompatible with life. Therefore your body chooses for you and chooses to end the pregnancy as your baby wouldn't survive birth. I had to teach myself all of this when it happened, I was broken, lost, empty. But it's likely that your next pregnancy will be successful. I have been told that miscarriage is very common, especially in first pregnancies. You did nothing wrong, it's just bad luck. Hang in there, it'll get better. Sending you virtual hugs

[Srider23 in reply to TheSeal]

The virtual hug was taken gladly. Thank you. Seeing the positive stories after such a horrible time is so comforting. It’s certainly just reconfirmed for both of us that we really want a baby.

I wish you every happiness with your pregnancy this time xxx

[Samcz]

So sorry for your loss. 33 is not too late nowadays. I just had a baby aged 40 after several years trying xx

[Srider23 in reply to Samcz]

Thank you so much for your kind words xx congratulations on your baby! You must be absolutely over the moon xx

[Samcz]

Thanks very much! I am indeed!

Take care of yourself and all the best for the future xxx

[Bailey135]

So sorry for your loss and it wasn’t your fault. I had a miscarriage at about that time too, I let it run it’s cause naturally. Once we started trying again I fell straight away and we now have a little girl- don’t lose hope. Just try again once your ready xxxx