Breast/formula/expressing advice

[Bailey135]

Hi! I am 40 +2 and anticipating the arrival of my little girl any day now... since becoming pregnant I assumed I would breast feed. I bought an electric pump and all the gadgets ready to hit the ground running. However, in the past few weeks I have changed my mind (I think) plus my friends who breast feed say their partners feel left out and I know my husband really wants to be involved as much as possible. My midwife although lovely is VERY pro breast so I haven’t really been given much advice. I’m thinking of maybe combination feeding? So much breast milk and so much formula? But not sure how to go about this? Any ladies done the same? What did you do?

[Emmaxxx]

Hi. I wanted to breastfeed so much but really struggled as my baby boy lost a lot of weight in the first 5 days. I tried pumping off but didn’t get much so I combined breast and formula. The way to do it is breast feed first until the come off naturally and then if they need a top up then feed formula. They will let you know if they need a top up. The thing to remember is don’t be pressured into doing anything that you don’t want to do. It’s your body and your baby. You do what you want. Good luck xx

[HollyT7]

Hey, so I 100% planned on breast feeding only, however my little boy wouldn't latch my nipple so we started formula.. however a midwife suggested nipple sheilds which really helped him latch on, and so I started expressing so my partner could help with feeds whilst I expressed (at night). My little one has a much better tummy with no formula and sleeps better xx

[Seb9]

The best advice I could give would be to get your breastfeeding established first before you pump or try formula. Those first few weeks baby will need to feed from you a lot to build up your supply and bottles of formula will stop them from doing this. You might feel like they're always feeding on you or that you're not producing enough but as long as they are putting on weight and having wet and dirty nappies then you will be supplying them just fine. It is really normal for them to be on you a lot and to fuss when they are trying to up your supply.

I also found it useful tonremember that your milk comes from your blood not from what you've eaten so it never runs out, it's like a river not a lake so you never run dry just slower. So when you feel like baby is getting nothing they are but they are building up your supply so that you have a better flow.

When you feel like you need a break from feeding baby in those early days get Dad to take baby for a walk in a sling or for a ride on the car or when they are a few weeks old for a nice bath after a feed so that you can have a shower or a nap. That's the best way he can bond with baby while you get your feeding and supply sorted. My husband has been amazing with our little one, he gave expressed colostrum when she was tiny and has given her the occasional bottle but we have never made a habit of it and he is totally bonded with her and not felt left out at all.

He now does all the baths with her and most of the nappy changes when he's home. He also does her breakfast and dinner when he is home too. Feeding milk is only a small part of taking care of baby and there are hundreds of ways for dad to bond and feel included so I wouldn't give yourself extra stress that you need to express or combo feed purely so he can do a feed.

Once breastfeeding is established, then you could express for a feed for dad to give or I used to use a little bottle of ready-made formula as I didn't enjoy pumping and it takes time to do which I wasn't finding easy to find. I only now pump if baby misses a feed and I feel engorged.

Combi feeding is definitely possible to do but it can be hard to find a balance, from everything I've researched babies can get a bottle preference because it's so easy to gulp down a bottle rather than to suckle at boob, so then you can struggle to get them to work hard at the boob and this in turn affects your supply so it becomes a circle where baby won't feed well from you and you give more formula, which decreases your supply more.

By pace feeding you can make it harder for them to get the milk out of the bottle so that they don't gulp it down so quickly so they then don't fuss that they have to work hard on the boob. So if you do choose to combi feed maybe have a look at pace feeding.

Laleche league and Kelly mom are 2 really good breastfeeding websites and thees a really good support group on facebook called UK breastfeeding which has lots of really helpful mums on there and they are very kind and helpful. If you choose to breastfeed or combo feed, there's always a lot of help available.

Lots of love and good luck with everything, exciting times ahead xxx

[precioce in reply to Seb9]

This is really good advice and articulated much better than I could have done!x

[Bluemoon1983 in reply to Seb9]

I just wanted to say what great advice this is, I was just going to reply but you’ve covered everything I was going to say!! I would second everything you’ve said, I would also recommend them womanly art of breastfeeding’ as a great book for support whether you choose to BF for a couple of weeks or a couple of years....I learnt so much from that book and it gave me the confidence to carry on when my family wanted me wanted to put him on formula. We finally stopped at 16 months (his choice) xx

[Claireeeeeeeeeeeee]

I havent done a mixture of both but I just wanted to add that my husband in no way feels like he missed out by not feeding our little girl. He carried her in a sling when she was small all over the place and he did lots of skin to skin. Changed lots of nappies and bathed her. I sometimes feel like I missed out as I fed her and then he did loads of other things with her.

[Cedrada]

I came here to say the same things as Seb9. I can't out it any better than they did though.

Breastfeeding is hard, but with support and remembering that all little one is doing is placing an order for tomorrow it's good.

It's also so much more convenient when out and about! Instant fix for almost any of little ones problems!

[AJBee]

That is such a perfect reply from Seb9 I really can't add anything else! I BF with maybe a few bottles of formula if we were going somewhere I didn't feel comfortable getting a boob out (which was almost nowhere as it happens!!) I simply couldn't be faffed with the sterilising, pre boiling, waiting to cool etc of formula. As Seb9 says, slings and skin to skin cuddles is such an incredible way for dad to bond. Good luck with everything, bet you're mega keen to meet this little baby now!!! xxxx

[ToniaB123]

Hey Bailey,

I was 100% never going to breast feed and my partner convinced me to give it a go and I’m so glad he did. I really love breastfeeding now and it’s so convenient. It’s so lovely watching them grow and learn and there’s nothing like them smiling at you from the boob!!

I would recommend to make sure you have some lanolin cream, the first 2 weeks can be hard but it’s worth putting the work in as will be so much easier after you’ve got past those first 2 weeks (but the nipple cream helps!).

Also, for the pace feeding which Seb recommended, when using expressed milk we use a medela bottle and teat which came with our pump. The teat mimics a normal breast feel and flow (baby still has to work for their food) so I’d deffo say try these or similar. Tbh I barely ever express anymore as I’m enjoying the feeding and I hate washing up - haha.

Good luck with the feeding and best wishes for a lovely birth :).

[Ajwilkins1991]

With my second i tried breastfeeding as i didnt with my first and i felt i missed out on the experience with my first. It only lasted for 5 days as he had tongue tie and i was in a stressful relationship at the time. Im expecting my third (with a new bloke) and im very motivated to try and make it work with breastfeeding. Men can get involved as u can express and tbh i always felt with bottle feeding that its so exhausting with washing, stwrelising and making bottles and then preparing bottles if u go out for the day. Its completely ur choice but i would atleast give breast a go as u may regret not giving it a go. I never thought i would feel regretful after not breastfeeding my first but i did in the end.

[Baypony]

As everyone else has said don’t rule

out the breastfeeding just yet. We, like you, thought we would try both as baby had a tongue tie, which was not cut until she was 9 days, but baby was very sick with the formula, she threw most of it up and if she did keep it down she had such a bad tummy she would scream for hours and writhe about in agony. We gave up on the formula and I started expressing at 3 1/2 weeks which worked much better. I would express from one breast whilst feeding off the other at early hours feed and hubby would give it to her around 10pm that night so I could get 5 hours uninterrupted sleep, which was bliss. I was glad I kept up with the breastfeeding as it’s so convenient and baby forumla was difficult to get hold of in lockdown. It’s bad enough (emotionally) trying to breastfeed a crying baby I can’t imagine how awful it is having to make a bottle up whilst they scream!

I now how a good few months supply of breastmilk in the freezer to give baby when she is weaned.

Try a few things and see what works for you. If going for formula initially buy the ready made stuff in a pack with bottles and teats included. This saves you having to sterilise anything in the early days (which is difficult when you are tired). Don’t fork out for bottles until you know that’s what you’ll use. Also breast pump maufacturers sell bottle and teats that are compatible so you can just put the teat on the bottle yoo have expressed into.

Also a word on your partner, he is there to support you looking after the baby in the early weeks. I found it a nightmare trying to calm the baby initially as I smelt of milk, so hubby was much better at settling her and she would go to sleep on him. He doesn’t have to actually feed the baby to be supportive to you and bond with the baby!

Good luck 🙂

[Bakingcupcake]

I breast fed for 15 months... exclusively for 12 months as introduced LO to normal milk at 1 too. I dont think partners should feel left out there are plenty of other things they can get involved with such as nappies, cuddles etc etc. I would give breastfeeding 100% go first, it may work for you it may not, but people kept telling me to get formula in case it didn't work and to be prepared..i didn't follow their advice i stuck it out and was the best decision, breastfeeding benefits outweigh partners not feeling involved...my MIL was constantly trying to get me to stop BF bcz she wanted to bottle feed baby, just made me more determined to persevere. Its the best thing i did, my LO was always healthy, happy etc etc whilst friends babies on formula were always moaning about stomach gripes, constipation, colic, reflux etc etc...if I were you try natural first...lots of breastfeeding help on facebook, instagram, in the community (albeit maybe not at the moment)...im not going to lie it was tough to begin with but soon its get easier, its free, and on tap!! Good luck xxx

[GM99]

I did combination feeding and it worked so well for us! The only thing I would say is, a lot of people have mentioned getting breast feeding established before introducing a bottle and I would just say this is important, but equally don’t introduce a bottle too late. We introduced a bottle early (with expressed milk- so not to affect my supply) and it meant our baby got used to both bottle and boobs and honestly didn’t seem to have a preference- even when we used formula in bottles. I know friends who have had difficulties introducing bottles once baby had got used to exclusive boob and would then reject bottles point blank. But each baby is different and whatever way you do it will be the right way for you both- don’t put too much pressure on yourself! xx

[XxjustmexX]

If you want to breastfeed and worried about your partner feeling left out they can also help you so much even if there not feeding the little one. I bf my boy and how I used to involve hubby was get him to wind him or change him, get you snacks and water. Also bath time was their thing, he also did bath time so it was their bonding ❤️ xx

[Annh17]

Do what you want, it’s hard work breast feeding and pumping. I was exclusively pumping for 8 weeks and I was drained. But I wouldn’t of change it for the world, breast feeding didn’t take of for me, which I was fine with as I wanted my husband and family to be able to feed aswell.

We was combi feeding aswell, LG was having breast milk throughout the day and formula last feed and during the night, as this kept her going for longer.

She was absolutely fine with this, didn’t have no tummy trouble or anything. HV and midwifes (in hospital) were very much breast breast breast, but community midwifes were like you do what you want to and what makes you happy. As long as baby is getting milk they will be happy x