Coping with crying baby

[Flounder84]

Does anyone have any tips? My little one is 6 weeks old, recently throughout the day he’s seemed a lot more unsettled and often breast feeding is the only comfort to him. He has brief periods where he seems happier and we have a nice little Interaction but it hasn’t lasted for long before he grizzles again. Then in the evening we’ve had crying episodes that take up the entire evening trying to console him - he will have brief periods of being consoled but then the crying starts again - his eyes are wide and he almost looks quite panicked dduring these evening times! It hasn’t happened every evening but I’m just so anxious now thinking - is he going to have more crying fits tonight? I am managing to stay calm in the moments of the crying but then afterwards suffering with bad anxiety and keep having negative thoughts eg I can’t make him happy / what have I done / when and will it ever get easier

I heard 6 weeks crying tends to peak, I’m holding out hope it might get easier soon

Thanks

[Seb9]

In the day crying and feeding might be a growth spurt or going through a leap? Have you got the wonder weeks app? It's been really good a predicting when my little one is going to be more fussy and what to look out for and what new things they might be doing or learning.

I found she was worse if we stayed in a lot, if I took her for a walk or to a baby group, even it for a coffee with a friend she'd be more cheerful or sleep for a lot longer.

Those evening crying sessions were for me the worse part of the newborn stage.

I found putting baby in a sling and walking up and down the house singing to her helped.

I sang row row the boat over and over as I found this kept me calmer because I was getting frustrated that she wouldn't stop (although this was mixed with ahh shaddupa your face a well)

My husband and I would take turns walking her while the other one rested and went in a different room for a break.

I knew it was normal and even expected it and I had read up on the 4th trimester and purple crying. It was still harder then I thought it would be.

Thank goodness it does get better, my lo is nearly 7 months now and now has her bath and the feeds to sleep in the evenings, it's a world away from those first few weeks so please know it does get better.

Best of luck

[Flounder84 in reply to Seb9]

Thanks for your reply. That’s really helpful. I have heard of purple crying but in my head I’m still just worrying something is wrong even though I know it’s a normal phase. It’s abit like I’m wishing this period of time away too which makes me feel guilty.

I have the wonderweeks app - apparently he went through first leap at 5 weeks ish, so I don’t know why he’d still be so cranky in the day - he will have abit of a look around or interact for few mins then back to being cranky and settles himself then back on the boob.

[Seb9 in reply to Flounder84]

I think I read and re read the purple crying info in the hope it might somehow give me a clue on when the crying would stop or some magic fix🙈🙈

I was so sick of people telling me to 'enjoy every minute' I'd mentally flip them the bird when they said it! It was bloody awful!! I was exactly the same as you wishing the time away!!

Although now would you believe it? I miss her being so tiny and have even started wanting another baby 🙈 I swear the only good thing about sleep depravation is not remembering those first few months that clearly.

Xxx

[Kitcat12]

I'm right there with you lovely. My little boy will be 6 weeks tomorrow and he seems to be constantly upset. We think it's because he has trapped wind and colic and it's so upsetting seeing him cry and feeling like I can't make him happy! Just remember that this won't last forever and that you're doing all you can to help and comfort your baby. Things we've tried that have sometimes helped calm him: warm bath, go for a drive, walk round in the sling, bit of massage. Just keep going, you're doing amazingly!

[Flounder84 in reply to Kitcat12]

Thanks for your reply - sorry to hear your in the same boat !

I’m just so exhausted trying to placate him in the day which makes it hard knowing the evening is coming and I’m fearing the worst! After wanting a baby so much it feels dreadful that I’m not enjoying things and finding it so hard!

I’m wondering sometimes if he gets cranky in the day when tired eg after being awake for a little while so I’m constantly willing him to sleep as atleast he’s happy sleeping (which makes me feel abit guilty!!)

What is making you think colic? Have you been trying anything for it?

Hope things start to get easier soon - I guess all we can do is hang on in there xx

[Kitcat12 in reply to Flounder84]

Yes I totally relate to wishing baby would just sleep, I feel like I don't enjoy time with him awake because he's so upset and has so much pain. We've tried so much different stuff for colic- infacol, colief, gripe water, anti colic bottles, dairy free diet: the works! Nothing seems to help 😕 just a case of waiting for him to grow out of it x

[Flounder84 in reply to Kitcat12]

Yea it’s really tough esp when your so tired too, I find myself dreading the evenings really and how will I have the energy to get through them when he’s at his most unsettled! I briefly tried infacol but gave up in the end as giving with every feed made me think I was giving him gallons of the stuff when he was cluster feeding!

I’ve been trying some baby massage which is nice and also feels nice for bonding too - He has some happy times being changed or sometimes lying on his back on the bed - so I’ve been doing it then.

I’ve heard 6 weeks is a really tough one and the peak of crying etc - ive been reminding myself how much things are changing all the time and this is just a temporary tough patch, things will change again soon xx

If you want a chat let me know I have found it so helpful chatting to others going through similar things

[Prosopon]

Hi, from around 6-8 weeks my son was like this and I even posted twice on here, once saying I was worried he was miserable all the time, and then again asking if and when things get easier (I think you responded to that one). I felt awful and like I was failing as a mother because I just couldn't make him happy. However for the last 2-3 days I've noticed a massive improvement. He is suddenly sleeping for longer and is much more settled in the day, and seems happier. He has been smiling and cooing, and playing on his play mat. I don't know what has caused this change but I'll take it! If you think how quickly they are developing then I think it's understandable that they get overwhelmed and overwrought. I also think when going through a bad patch it can feel like it's been like that always and will be forever more, and you can lose sight of the fact that it's actually only been a few days, or a week etc.

I spoke with a nursery nurse I know about feeling anxious that I don't always know how to comfort him, and she was really helpful. She said if he's still crying after going through the basics (hungry, nappy change, hot, cold, uncomfortable position etc) then to just hold him and be there for him. She pointed out that sometimes people of any age just need a good cry and someone to be there with them. So now when he's crying and I don't know why I cuddle him close, tell him I love him and that I'm here etc. It's natural as mothers that we don't want our babies to cry but maybe sometimes they just need to to get their emotions out?

Anyway, I don't know if this helps at all but I'm sure you're doing a great job and your baby is lucky to have you as a mum. If you get a chance, maybe have a look at the two threads I posted as there are a lot of really helpful and supportive responses from people. I'm starting to realise that things are up and down when it comes to babies, and just when you think you can't cope anymore, something changes and gets slightly better. I'm guessing it's always going to be like that as a parent so I'm trying to accept it!

[Flounder84 in reply to Prosopon]

Thanks so much that’s really reassuring and to hear it’s passed / a phase to get through xx

[Georgielouise]

Mine was the same in the evenings, he was quite windy and I think had colic issues... just have to give lots of cuddles and try holding in different positions like my boy liked to be on his frontier my arm and the other hand I would pat his back. Try to swaddle and again pat the back this is comforting. Try bathing and then feeding with warm milk after the bath and this can help settle. Turn off any tv, low the lights keep sound down, this helps to calm and settle. During the day you can try walks out , drives out if you drive .

Singing can help and lullaby music.

just give lots of love and he will grow out of it. my baby is now 7 months and settles at 6.30 /7 and sleeps all night only waking for a couple of feeds - so it does get better x

[Flounder84 in reply to Georgielouise]

Thanks that’s really good advice xx

[Sisi07]

Are you breastfeeding or formula feeding? My baby improved a lot when I cut dairy from my diet as I was breastfeeding.. It takes few days to see the improvement. He's 14 month old now and still intolerant. At 10month we started the introduction to dairy and he was back to waking up every hour or so during the night and being cranky during the day, having diarrhea and etc. At 12 month we cut dairy again and all went back to normal in a week... You might try, I cut first time by myself as GP kept saying it was normal and babies are like that, which can be, but deep inside I knew there was something else. Don't forget to cut soya as well if trying as their protein are very similar. Hope this helps.

[Jazzy777]

I found this book really helpful -

Gina Ford

The New Contented Little Baby Book: The Secret to Calm and Confident Parenting

She talks about routines, and troubleshoots all the different reasons why your child could be unsettled.

You can get a free sample from Amazon too I think. Enjoy x

[Hidden]

My first was the same I stopped breastfeeding switched to formula settled right away. I think she was just hungry but now I would prob have just introduced a bottle on a night to see how she’d settle.