My LG is 7 weeks old today. At birth she weighed 7lb 6oz and when the HV last weighed her on Friday 13th (5+1 week) she was 9lb 8oz. HV said that for her age and measurements (she’s quite long) that was fine. We have our “6 week” check up on Tuesday next week when she will be 7 weeks and 5 days. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she was over 11lb by then 😳
At about 4 weeks old we introduced 2 formula feeds of 4oz bottles between the hours of 11pm to 4am so that I could catch some sleep. Up until she was 4 weeks she was ebf. She was nursing every half hour or so, sometimes less, and I was exhausted and emotional. I was barely sleeping. Both my midwives (I had two) and HV were happy with my latch, in fact LG had been a natural since birth and had quickly regained her original weight loss of 8.4% I don’t get sore or cracked nipples and don’t find breastfeeding painful. I struggled to pump though and keep up with her almost constant need to nurse. Introducing the bottles of formula was hard for me and it initially upset me as I felt like I was letting her down.
“Luckily” (I use the term loosely) Hubby is a paraplegic and doesn’t work so he takes the baby until 4am when I get up and take over. She won’t settle in her crib and I’ve tried swaddling (which helps a little but it’s been too hot) and I’ve tried the hot water bottle trick, low lighting, no noise, I’ve tried white noise etc etc. So she sleeps in her pram in the living room with us on shifts as she goes longer in general than in her crib. When I get up at 4am I’m often able to sit and pump for an hour (kinda have to by then as my breasts are full and sore).
I’m now getting a solid 4 hours sleep in every 24 hour period but the situation hasn’t changed much.. LG now has at least 2 formula feeds of 4oz in a 24 hour period. She quite often leaves the last ounce but the perfect prep machine doesn’t make 3oz bottles. The rest of the time I’m still nursing. She’s on at least one bottle in daytime hours so that I can have some time to eat while it’s still hot and not gulp it down or actually take a bath, even doing a spot of housework! Being able to do anything is bliss as long as I can get out of my nursing chair or off the bed because I feel they have become my prisons (the two places I nurse her). She will nurse for anything from 10-20 minutes before falling asleep on me. I wind her and switch breasts until she falls asleep again, wind her and then put her down. I’ve tried stimulating her to keep her awake to feed longer, tried tickling her toes or her cheeks and talking to her but when she’s tired she doesn’t care!
So back to the root of the problem; although she will settle in her pram, it’s only for about an hour or occasionally an hour and a half tops before she wants to nurse again. After she’s been formula fed she sleeps longer, for about 2 hours a time. Hubby even gets 3 hours out of her sometimes on his formula fed “shift” 😮 I know it’s hunger when I’m having to nurse her all the time because of all the hunger cues, if we ignore them it isn’t long before the screams start! I put her on my breast and she guzzles like she’s been starved and instantly settles. Am I not producing enough milk for her? Is that why she only sleeps an hour to an hour and a half before wanting to nurse again? I read up that she should be feeding every 3-4 hours at this stage. LG is getting chunky. She has chubby cheeks and a double chin (you can’t see her double chin in the picture as it depends on the angle it’s taken) and baby rolls, I think this is normal right? Or is she getting too chubby? Am I over feeding her? Because of how many times she’s nursing or because she’s having too much formula top ups? I just don’t know and I don’t know why she wants to feed so much. I just wanna hear she isn’t eating too much I guess.
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Tugsgirl
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Unfortunately it's normal and what breastfed babies do. Ignore what you read about 3-4 hourly feeds, it's complete rubbish for breastfed babies. The more you feed, the more you produce to keep up with demand. There's probably a growth spurt going on & cluster feeding. I know it's exhausting, all you can do is just go with it x
Thank you. Basically I was just worried that with the formula and breast and her getting chubby, and feeding all the time, that maybe I was over feeding her. It’s a relief to hear that 3-4 hours between feeds is complete rubbish though xx
What Cheekymonkey85 said! It will pass and you will get more sleep, but the early days are effing exhausting and very emotional. Overtime she will drink more at each feed and feed less often but it just takes time. Not what you want to hear I know! Hang on in there mamma xxx
As she’s getting chubby and feeding all the time, and on the formula too, I was just worried in case I was over feeding her.. so thanks for the reassurance xx
Just a thought- what kind of pump are you using? Can you pump the other side while you're feeding? I did that for a while with her under my arm like a rugby ball but as I quite often have to correct her latch and mess about it was impossible without a free hand but it sounds like your little one will stay on no problem and it would save you some time.
Hi tugs 👋🏻 You felt you wrote an essay in your post? Sorry for my essay of a reply 🤣
Right first of all you are doing an amazing job for her so don’t doubt yourself. I went through a lot of problems in the early days with my son and remember the tiredness all too well. What you’re going through, although it’s hard, is really normal. They call it the fourth trimester, where baby just wants to be close to mum ALLLL the time and will only sleep when being held etc. Do you have a sling you can put baby in? It’s great for them, very settling and counts as tummy time too which is a bonus! Also good for your supply as keeps baby close to you.
With the feeding... you cannot overfeed a breastfed baby. Do you want to get back to ebf or do you want to combo feed? Don’t feel guilty for giving formula if that’s what works for you as a family. Any breastmilk is better than no breastmilk. If you want to combo feed, don’t shoot me but ideally you would be best to be nursing her at night as that’s like putting your order in for the next day, other wise you may find supply starts dipping.
With the formula top ups, it’s easy to get caught in what is called the top up trap - you feel you’re not making enough, give baby a bottle, baby overfeeds so is full and sleepy trying to digest the formula, baby feeds less frequently from you, supply dips, you feel you’re not making enough... and so on. Formula is harder for them to digest than breastmilk so that’s why you get longer between feeds. 1-2 hours between breastfeeds is actually pretty good! But they go through so many growth spurts and leaps in the first few months so sometimes she will want to be on the boob constantly! (Ot it feels like that anyway).
If you did want to get back to ebf it can be done but will take a bit for your supply to catch up. Basically, camp out in bed, lots of skin to skin, keep putting her to the breast (even if not showing feeding cues), Little and often and your supply will soon catch up. Netflix, snacks and loads of water. You can also do power pumping sessions to help - pump for say ten minutes, rest five, pump for five, rest for five, pump for five. I bought a double pump in the end to speed this up a bit! You can do this after a feed or for one of the feeds where she has a bottle. If you are giving a bottle, pace feed them - some good graphics online for this - so that it mimics a breastfeed more. Basically you tilt the bottle almost horizontal, swap sides halfway through. Guidelines for amounts is 1-1.5oz per hour so maybe after a day or two you could start to drop the amounts she has on the formula top ups. I read recently that baby will automatically take a bottle even if they’ve had a good breastfeed as it’s like an automatic reaction for them to suckle when something hits the roof of their mouth.
In the end I got help from a lactation consultant (IBCLC) called Shel Banks who is AMAZING she does home visits or Skype/online if you’re too far. There’s other though you can find them on lcgb.org or google as not all registered on that site.
Kellymom website, la leche league website, UK breastfeeding and parenting group on Facebook all very good sources of support and information.
Last of all... she is gorgeous 😍 you’re doing amazing, it’s bloody hard work, tiring and makes us cranky and emotional so just remember you are not alone. Keep your chin up. Lots of love xxx
Oh and forgot to add... when they go through these leaps/spurts it’s very, very normal for them to be fussy at the breast and pull on and off, on and off... makes you doubt yourself but it’s just baby’s way of telling your body she needs more as she’s going through a big growth spurt xxxx
She seems to have been on a constant growth spurt since day one haha! 😂
Yes, we have three slings but have discounted two, for now, on account of just not “liking” them for various reasons. I bought a black, stretchy, wraparound fabric one the other day and although it comes with instructions, the mind boggles 🥴 so I haven’t tried it out yet, in fact she’s not been in any of the slings so far. I’ll have to work it out somehow..
I’m happy to combo feed now. It gives me a break and gives Hubby a chance to bond and feel like he’s contributing more too. I was torn about it originally but now I’m ok with it. We are pace feeding with a bottle. We make her have regular pauses and wind her in between before putting her back on the bottle. We also tilt the bottle so she doesn’t draw too much air from an empty teat. When she’s had enough she either stops sucking or pushes it out completely and always leaves about an ounce anyway. She’s on 3-4 bottles in 24 hours.
I nurse her around 10-11pm until she’s settled before heading to bed. Sometimes I’ve fed her on both sides but she only settles temporarily so then Hubby takes over with the bottle. She definitely doesn’t feed less from me. Sometimes I can sit and feed her on and off for a few hours, that’s when I get exhausted and fed up. I can put her down after hours and within half hour she wants to nurse again. That’s when I’ve asked Hubby to give her a daytime bottle. She does go 1- 1.5 hours between nursing mostly but that doesn’t seem much if I’m nursing her on each breast for up to half hour (the 10-30 minutes is per breast) so about an hour of nursing. And on bad days she only goes 20-30 minutes before feeding again. Those are the days I can sit or lie for hours feeding her. And I thought those days would improve but they’re just as frequent as ever.
I pump at 4am now as she’s usually asleep. I’m getting more from that one session than I ever did before when I was trying to pump and nurse her.
Sorry for my essay in reply to yours hehe 😉 and thank you so much for reading and replying xx
You just have to find whatever works for you as a family, but above all have faith in yourself, you’re doing amazing!! I had a close Caboo for the first ten months or so, I found the wrap ones a bit complicated too, this one is really easy to use and baby loved it so win-win 🤣 xxxx
It’s sounds exactly like my first boy was it! He was on my breast all the time and slept not longer then half an hour after during the day! He also was awake on hourly basis at night, so tiring! But I’ve breastfeeding him for 12months and in time he became better and better.
This time round my LB from start was different then his brother, for some reason he was able to take more milk at the feed and reward me with longer nights sleeps then his older brother basically he sleeps 3-4hrs between feeds. I haven’t done anything different this time round and I think it’s just him being able to get more milk to keep him going through the night. During the day he’s also getting better and better having 2hrs sleeps or longer but this can differ from day to day like. Late afternoons and evenings are challenging for us because he can literally spend hours feeding before he falls asleep for night at 9.30pm.
So in general breastfed babies can be really perfectly fine and as you describe, it all depends how much milk they do take or need at times. With my boys each of them is different: one was like your LG and the other is bit better but if need more milk will get awake to get his intake at any time of the day or night.
Oh thank you for this. I just needed to hear that I’m not necessarily doing anything majorly wrong and that her behaviour is relatively normal, that I’m not over feeding her and making her fat xx
Hi Tugs, these early days are a blur of cluster feeds aren't they!
I worried about my supply too and did a few supplemental night feeds in ghs beginning but soon scrapped that to keep up my supply by ebf.
Ollie didn't want to be off my breast either and would feed for around 45 minutes. He was 9lb 3 born and gained in leaps. He's on the 98th percentile, has a double chin and legs so chunky we affectionately call him Bernie (-Bernard Mathews Turkey drummers🤣🙈). He was weighed at16lb 1 a fortnight ago and is very nearly out of 3-6 month clothing too!
Good news is our babies are clearly getting enough food and are strong.
As Ollie's gotten older he only feeds for around 10 minutes at a time and efficiently drains the breast in that time so hopefully your little one will head that way too! After feeding every 2 hours he can go for 3-4 through the night now but doesnt always.
If baby is producing I think at least 6 wet and dirty nappies a day when ebf then baby is getting enough milk from you alone.
I used to pump regularly but it seems mu body has worked out how much milk to produce to meet Ollie's needs now and the engorgement diesnt happen so much then. It will come for you soon! Also, you can get a little silicone bottle designed to collect the let-down from your one breast while you feed from the other. It you don't get on with pumping maybe this will work for you? I had mine from Aldi for about a 5a but Amazon sell them too.
Ah thank you. Yes I have one of those but I didn’t know how to use it when I cradle hold her across my body - there doesn’t seem enough room to attach it with LG across me. I’ve given up on ebf and I’m sticking to combo because I need a break occasionally otherwise I’d go insane I’d swear! Ebf was beginning to drain me of any joy from breastfeeding at all. But yes, before I added formula she was doing plenty of wet nappies every few hours and 2-3 dirty nappies in any 24 hour period. That hasn’t really changed.
Love your LB’s nickname. I call LG pudding because she’s getting more and more soft, squidgy and rounded like a Christmas pud lol xx
Exhausting and to be honest at times it’s really hard. But I am SO in love with her that it overwhelms me sometimes and I have a little cry because I can’t believe that she’s ours, that she’s thriving and she’s so pretty. It’s intense xx
It is intense isn't it! That love is like nothing you've ever felt though isn't it. 🥰. I look at Ollie, fill-up and feel the same way xx
The above advice is spot on can’t add much to what’s been said. Don’t feel guilty about topping up with formula milk I had to do this with both my children my daughter has now decided she only wants bottles now- I wanted to continue for longer,mums guilt is horrible. But your little girl is thriving & you are doing a fantastic job. It’s great she has bonding time with daddy as well. It’s not easy but you are both doing really well ❤️ and Mary is adorable xxx
Thank you Jess! Yes when people ask how she is I do say thriving! How can she not be when she feeds so much and is a little chubster?! Mum guilt is horrible isn’t it? It’s given me a few tears along the way xx
It’s the pits 😬 the fact we have mums guilt makes us good mums bad mums don’t question anything...
The hormones do take sometime to settle down after having a baby the HV told me it takes about 6 weeks to get back to normal probably be longer after a c section that’s pretty major surgery.
They should modify our placenta into pill form & offer it to us ( my hospital do it but didn’t offer it to me) we would all feel much better - women wouldn’t get such bad baby blues & im sure would help prevent post natal depression the animals eat theirs 🤮
It used to upset me when I had her all day trying my best to sort her needs out & all my hubby had to do was walk in from work & she was all smiles! I did feel a bit jealous but now I see our roles are so very different - I’m the serious parent who makes sure all the important stuff gets done & he’s the fun parent who jokes around with her both our roles are equally important for her 😁 You will know Mary better than anyone & trust you know best for her mums always do doesn’t matter how old you are lol xxx
I know what you mean. Hubby said she was awake for three hours last night without a nap and she was alert and smiling all that time. No grizzling, no crying. She does smile for me but I feel like she’s so much more chilled and bubbly with her Daddy at night than with me during the early hours and the daytime. I feel like all she sees when she looks at me (well at least 90% of the time is booby/milk!) so yea, I can relate to that xx
Hey!!! Oscar isn’t breast fed but in the day he’s having 5oz and can be every 2hrs! At night we get at least 4 hours out of him after his last feed!! Hv says it is completely normal for them to feed so much at this stage!!
I was contemplating putting him on hungry baby but she said they don’t recommend until 8 weeks!
When he last got weighed he was 12lb 12oz, little chunk xxx
Hiya Tugsgirl. I'm a breastfeeding peer supporter at my local children's centre and I can assure you that everything you are talking about is normal. Breastfeeding can be tough, time consuming and sometimes isolating. Your breast milk will not actually settle until baby is at least 8weeks old. She is possibly cluster feeding to increase your supply and there is a risk that by not breastfeeding at these times your supply may not keep up with demand and the need to supplement may continue or even increase.
During hot weather baby will also feed little and often as the fore milk is predominantly fluid based so she may be thirsty and your hind milk is what gives nourishment.
Have you tried co-sleeping so she can feed during the night whenever she wants it.
The only thing that I can truly reassure you with is that nothing ever lasts forever with babies! She will move forward and you'll not even notice!
Thank you so much! I tried co sleeping and it’s fine but with hubby being disabled we don’t safely have enough room in the bed. We’ve actually ordered a sofa bed so that I can breast feed/co sleep on that with her. Thank you xx
I have no advice given I gave up trying to bf at 3 weeks and went straight to formula but it sounds like you are doing a fab job and she’s gorgeous! I know what you mean about trying to share the load though, night feeds are the worst I think as you just want to sleep! I didn’t share them as my husband was back at work and I did them all but once a week on a Sunday I got a lie in and it was bliss 😊 In some ways you’ll miss the sleepy night feeds when they are gone but I’m not going to lie it’s great when they finally sleep through 😉 x
4am is enough of a night feed for me lol. I’m only getting about 4 hours (on average) sleep not just at night, 4 hours full stop. If I didn’t get that I’d be dead by now 🧟♀️ Hubby isn’t keen on me doing the 11.30 ish until 4am shift as he’s definitely a night owl. We can only do our best and hope it’s good enough right? Xx
Yep, it’s all guesswork for sure but let me reassure you that when they get older (almost 11 months here) and spend most of their day happy (usually tired/hungry grumps only) you know you must have done something right by them 😊 I always tell/told my parents (mums not with us anymore) to take a look at our childhood photos and weren’t we smiling in them all, they did well by us.
I remember surviving on 6hrs broken sleep on a good night once she got a bit older, I don’t remember how much sleep I got in the first 9 weeks as we were still trying to work out what was wrong and fixing it (milk allergy making a very hard work newborn) the only thing I remember is trying to go to bed at 8 whilst my husband spent 2hrs plus walking her around to get her to sleep before she was placed on my chest and I ‘dosed’ between feeds scared about co-sleeping but having no choice, zombie time for sure! 🧟♀️ Somehow you still seem to manage to get out of the house to groups and stuff by about then too 😂 x
If I were you I would see if you have a la leche league group near you and contact them for free expert advice. To be honest as far as I can work out (only from own experience) I think breastfeeding works best when you do it exclusively because baby feeding tells your body how much milk is needed and your body can self regulate. In my case it started to settle down around six weeks but until then she cluster fed a lot especially in the evenings. I’m wondering whether your supply is being affected by baby having formula. I’m also unsure from your post why you are pumping rather than just feeding baby? Definitely get some advice, feeding and sleep are linked of course but to some extent there are just some babies who wake more than others too.
The idea with pumping was that I’d be able to have a little time to myself, that Hubby would be able to feed her or my mum could have her for a few hours one evening once a week. Mary-Elizabeth is definitely in demand with my mum and my auntie, they can’t wait to have her all to themselves for a little while and I didn’t want to give her formula so that they could get a little time with her. That was the theory anyway xx
I see. Maybe you could stop pumping for a while and go back to it once your supply settles? I find pumping almost more exhausting than breastfeeding. Just an idea x
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