Trying to concieve

We've been trying to concieve our second child for 9/10 months and nothing is happening. Our son is 30 months. Had a few irregular periods in that time but results are always coming up negative and I always end up getting upset when it shows negative after being late. Should it be taking this long to concieve again or could something be wrong.

[CC2018]

Hi. It took us over 2 and a half years to conceive our first with the help of ivf as we have unexplained infertility. If you are under 35 doctors say to wait at least a year before seeking help I.e. tests to check everything. If you are over 35 or 40 you can see the doctors for testing after 6 months of trying. Some people to experience secondary infertility where they might have conceived their first straight away but it takes longer for the 2nd. I hope this helps and good luck xx

[Hidden]

It took us a over a year to concieve our first. I'm only 23 and do my husband is 30. The worst part is I end up getting excited if I am late and then I just get sad when it happens. Thank you for the advice x

[Jmm21]

Hi, me and my partner have been trying for over a year now to conceive and I get exactly like you... just when I get excited thinking this is the month I end up coming on... we already have 1 child together and we conceived him within the first month of trying. so I’m not sure what we are doing different this time but I too feel as though nothing is working I’m not sure what advice I can give really because I feel like we have and are trying everything... sorry not wanting to come across negative.. just want you to know I too can relate to how you are feeling! I wish you the best of luck on your journey! X

[Hidden]

Thank you for your support. Hopefully it'll happen for both of us sooner rather than later x

[Hidden]

Hi there, it’s taken nearly 3 years to conceive our first baby (currently 12 weeks) so fully understand the ups and downs you’re experiencing. Prior to falling pregnant I went through all the tests leading up to ivf treatment to be told everything was ‘normal’ and I had ‘unexplained infertility’, which was pretty soul destroying. As i’m now 40 I was advised to pursue ivf ASAP.

But, midway through my journey (when my cycle suddenly became irregular) I did a LOT of reading around the benefits of nutrition and supplementation to improve fertility/egg health and quality. Despite what many doctors will tell you, there is a fair amount of research out there that shows you can actively improve your chances of conceiving (even at my age 🙄) and too much scare mongering.

Key things I’ve learnt: any egg that potentially becomes fertilised started forming 3 months before, so there’s lots to be said for improving your health/diet in advance of trying to conceive. And reducing stress in your life is massively important to fertility too. Fast forward 6 months from when I started making changes (including a shift to a less stressful job) and miraculously we fell pregnant naturally. I like to believe the improvements I made played a small part in that at least - 3 months to prep my body, 3 months to get a decent egg lined up 😊 (I am considered an ‘old’ girl after all 😉).

If you’re interested in the nutrition side of things I highly recommend these books:

- ‘It starts with the egg’ by Rebecca Fett

- ‘Period repair manual’ by Lara Briden

Although my diet and weight were reasonable anyway, I reduced dairy and cut out as much sugar as possible for the 6 months as they cause inflammation in the body which isn’t good for fertility.

Then, of course, it’s a matter of timing! Fortunately (?) I had painful ovulation so knew exactly when that was happening! But it can be a tricky business to know exactly when you ovulate, but helpful if you can work it out as it doesn’t always fall exactly when you might expect - possibly relevant to you if you've noticed some irregularities.

Throw in to that the advice given by a friend who went through ivf. She told me that in the days following implantation she was advised to make sure she kept her back and tummy warm ... think human incubator, and to eat warm, lightly salted foods (for us, not doing ivf, this would involve doing those things on ovulation day and the days that followed when implantation could happen). As you can see, I threw everything and the kitchen sink in 😂 plus listening to a fertility meditation app called ‘Female Fertility’ (pink logo with a flying stork carrying a baby). Who knows what worked, but I felt better knowing I might be improving my chances rather than feeling helpless about it all.

When the bfp finally appeared I didn’t quite believe it, especially after so many negative tests previously. In fact it took me several hours before I told my other half as I needed to get my head around it!

I don’t know if any of the above is helpful to you, hopefully it is. I wish you the best of luck x

[Hidden]

Thank you for your support. The problem I have when it comes to my diet is that I have a very sweet tooth and when I try and cut down or go on a diet nothing seems to work, I end up going straight back to chocolate and just give in. I don't smoke or drink so it's the sweet tooth that is the problem but I eat generally healthily specially with having a 2 year old already. I just don't want the gap to get too big between them x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I hear you! It definitely wasn’t easy but also not as hard as i’d imagined once I got started. It was worth being focussed on what I wanted to achieve, for what amounted to a short time in the scheme of things. On the days I REALLY wanted chocolate I had 70% green and blacks rather than sugary dairy milk.

If nothing else, it might be worth you finding out more about the most relevant vitamin supplements for fertility as the preconception multivitamins you can get in the chemist aren’t necessarily right for everyone or have everything you need.

[Hidden]

I can't stand dark chocolate and nothing beats Dairy Milk. I took folic acid tablets before but haven't started taking any. That could be something good to look into.