Any advice...

[Elleb2017]

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant today, with my 3rd pregnancy. However, the previous 2 have ended in miscarriages. I had a viability scan on Tuesday and saw my beautiful little baby at 7 weeks and 3 days. Everything looked great and it's heartbeat was flickering away so strong.

The thing is I'm terrified...

I really don't want to get my hopes up in a way and keep telling myself to be prepared for a loss again when we go for our 12 week scan in less than 4 weeks. I feel like I want to book scans each week to see baby developing. I really don't want to be so negative and feel like this pregnancy is so different to the other 2 as I am extremely sick, exhausted for about 4pm, suffering from headaches, and spots have appeared all over my face like when I was 15!!

I really don't think I could take another loss. I continuing check for blood when I visit the bathroom or when I have a little bit of pain.

Does anyone have any advice please ???

I have attached a picture of our beautiful baby 👶🏼

[Hidden]

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I know exactly how you feel as I had a previous miscarriage and then got pregnant again and was terrified. I also had a bleed at 6 weeks and in the end I did actually have weekly scans which helped a lot. I was scared pretty much the whole of my pregnancy but just learnt how to cope with it.

The only thing to get me through to 12 weeks was that if something happened there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. I know that sounds horrible but it’s true unfortunately.

Hopefully once you get to your 12 week scan that will ease your worries xx

[Elleb2017 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your reply. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way.

I just think when all you have ever wanted is a baby it is just taken away from you so easily.

I thought the other day you just constantly worry when you become a mum and it makes no difference that I have angel babies but, you worry trying to get pregnant, then worry about not losing your baby, then worry about bringing it safely into the world. My dad said the other day once they are in your arms you worry about them all your life then 🧡

I just really hope this little one is here to stay. It is further than the previous pregnancies. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Elleb2017]

I know what you mean. I had IVF so when I got pregnant and had a miscarriage it was awful and didn’t know how I would get over it but then went on to have my second round and it worked again so that helped with the healing process but also made me a nervous wreck.

Just don’t keep your feelings bottled up. My poor hubby suffered the whole 9 months but now she’s here I’ve relaxed loads. I think it’s the not being able to see if they are ok that stressed me out.

Hopefully everything will go well for you this time but you could always just get one extra scan between now and the 12 week scan maybe? Just to help. I know I would have if I wasn’t offered the extra scans xx

[Binky1983]

I don’t have any tips but I just wanted to say I know how you feel and offer some support.

I’m a couple of weeks behind you and I have also had two miscarriages. I’m currently waiting for my viability scan appointment to come through. I try to accept that there’s nothing I can do either way and not to panic at every niggle.

The fact that you’ve had the scan and you’ve got so many symptoms is a really good thing so try to stay positive. That’s what I’m doing but I go from excited to terrified very quickly! Once you’ve had your 12 week scan you’ll hit another milestone and you might find you relax more then as the chances of something going wrong drop right down. X

[Elleb2017 in reply to Binky1983]

Thank you so much for your reply! Congratulations on your pregnancy. I really do hope that we both have our beautiful baby in our arms in 8 months time.

Miscarriage is so heart breaking and in a way I was so naive that I thought it would never happen to me now it's happened twice I think it will always happen. Good luck for you viability scan I'm sure everything will be ok. I asked the sonagrapher to tell me straight away if she saw anything. My husband held my hand and the minute he saw baby he squeezed it so I felt so much better.

[Numbers]

Hi, I had 3 miscarriages, one that threatened my life and I needed emergency surgery to stop me bleeding. I am currently cooking a 38 week pregnancy. It can happen.

It sucks not to be able to enjoy a pregnancy. Being terrified is perfectly normal. This was my last try as I couldn't cope with the heartbreak but thankfully this baby was sticky. Book as many scans as you need. Research has shown it makes no difference to the success of the pregnancy but can help with maternal anxiety which has a positive effect.

Take each day as it comes, treat yourself right.

It gets easier to relax once you can feel them, I still struggle to believe it's happening to me. I need baby safety out!

There are an army of people out there that can help, ask. If you do lose this pregnancy then ask for testing to see if can figure out why.

Good luck. My thoughts are with you x

[Elleb2017 in reply to Numbers]

Thank you numbers! I'm so sorry for your losses. My last miscarriage also threatened my life. I had a medical management that did not complete the miscarriage and the baby was stick in my cervix for 8 weeks. All because the midwife during the medical management did not check. It broke my heart. I was extremely poorly and was rushing into surgery myself and they feared i would have an infection which I didn't. Thank God!

This baby came as a shock as I went into a state of not wanting anymore pregnancies and we didn't try for this one. The surgery was in July and I fell pregnant again in August.

My husband says this baby was meant to come to us and will be ok. I wish I had his positivity.

Congratulations on your beautiful baby not long to go.. do you know if your having a boy or girl? Xx

[Numbers in reply to Elleb2017]

Gosh I'm sorry, of all of my miscarriages my last was the most traumatic. I think it's really hard to move forward when on top of the trauma of losing your baby you have your own health to worry about. I gave birth at home to my tiny beautiful baby girl the day before medical management at 12 weeks, unfortunately most of the placenta stayed in me and I bled spectacularly.

When we got the go ahead to try again we did and then a week later I told my husband I couldn't do it anymore, I wasn't strong enough but I had already fallen pregnant. I'm grateful it happened this way. Like you, maybe this baby was meant to be. My hubby is also the eternal optimist, feed off them!

I kept my pregnancy secret for longer than most and struggled to drink as knew I would need to pee and couldn't cope with the wipe inspection. It's super hard but you will find the strength I promise.

Each day is closer to the prize at the end. In my darker moment you have to believe, until proven otherwise baby is fine. I really did find once I could feel baby I was much calmer. You have a daily reminder all is well.

Anytime now I'm hoping to hold a new family member. Just the birth to get through which I'm terrified of but that's a whole other saga.

We do know what sex baby is, we aren't saying, it's taken me a long time to wrap my head around it.

Best wishes. Huge hugs.

[Numbers in reply to Numbers]

Oh and one other wise thing I was told. Try not to prepare for loosing your baby, it will not make any difference to how you will feel if you do lose it, you would still be heartbroken prepared or not. Doing that is wasted energy and added torture. Easier said than done but let your rational head think this through, not your heart. X

[Hidden]

Congratulations Hun. I wish you a healthy pregnancy. I'm 30 weeks pregnant & totally understand how you are feeling as I had 2 missed miscarriages prior to this baby. I don't really have any good advice other than do whatever you need to in order to get through it & don't be hard on yourself when you do get stressed or have difficult days. I had terrible cramps until months into this pregnancy so was convinced something was gonna go wrong. I had 3 scans before 12 weeks & didn't start to relax until I felt the baby move at around 20 weeks. Now I'm worrying something is go wrong at the birth! It's like I quite can't believe my luck & I'm finally having a baby. I just really wish I could have enjoyed my pregnancy but my fears have overshadowed it. I really hope you are able to love the experience. Xx

[lcheckley]

It's so hard not to worry, but it does get easier as the weeks go slowly by. I have a ten year old then lost two pregnancies through ectopics and when I fell pregnant again after a long time I was petrified. Although this pregnancy felt so much different then the last two. My symptoms were so much stronger and they say the stronger the symptoms the stronger the baby. I'm now 22 weeks and still worry something may go wrong. I think it's a natural part of being pregnant. Good luck and wishing you all the best xxx

[Elleb2017]

Thank you all so much for your comments. I have felt ever since I found out that I was pregnant again I was the only one that felt this way. I am so thankful to each and everyone of you for helping me realise that I'm not being silly.

Our babies mean the world to us whether they are angels, in our belly growing or soon to be with us. I have wanted to be a mum for so long and I do feel like this baby is very strong and is here to stay.

I am going to start enjoying it a bit more and not let my past experiences change the fact that I am currently growing a human in my tummy.

I really don't want to get to the end and have wished I experienced it all positively rather than negatively.

Thank you all afa8n xx

[lou121087]

Your not the only one. I had a miscarriage in February and I'm now currently 6-7wks pregnant. My 1st pregnancy the baby died at 7wks and I didn't discover this until my 9wk scan as I was bleeding. So I'm freaking out as I'm at the same stage as the first time. But I've had no bleeding or cramping now so I'm keeping my fingers crossed as I have a scan on the 5th of oct. I think you just have to stay positive that there's no signs of a miscarriage. There are private scans you can have if you can afford them. And hopefully you have lots of support for what ever outcome you have and hopefully this is the one! Xx

[Elleb2017 in reply to lou121087]

I hope the scan went well thank you for your kind words xxx

[smallfry]

Hi, congratulations. The fact that you are having all those symptoms is a good thing. Try to enjoy it (if you can as i understand it's difficult). X x