I’m in shock. My period was late and I thought it was just because I had been stressed (moving house) plus my sleep pattern had been messed up. It got to day five of no period and I took a test just in case. I then took five more out of shock/denial….and yes all 6 confirmed that it wasn’t just stress or a stomach bug…
Anyway, I’m still struggling to get my head round it. We weren’t planning to have kids yet. In fact, I have suspected endometriosis so I didnt even know if i COULD have kids.. I’m due to get married soon and would be showing in my dress. I keep freaking out about the cost, and reduced pay on mat leave, and the cost of nurseries etc…I know the baby hasn’t ‘stuck’ yet but my mind is just everywhere. We don’t have a mortgage yet and may have to postpone the wedding.
I also took a lot of meds (prescription for various health problems) not knowing I was pregnant, and have also been drinking etc. So I’m worried I’ve already messed it up!
I feel sick and sooooo tired. Like you can’t believe. I’ve also lost my coping mechanisms for when I feel like this (Valium/a glass of wine/a nice strong coffee!), so I’m feeling very raw and uncomfortable sitting with my emotions.
I have told a few people close to me, just in case I become unwell and I need help. I have been taken aback by their attitudes. Yesterday I was saying how tired I felt, and I got a reply telling me oh but it's so so small as if I was being dramatic, and I also left work early yesterday as I didn't feel great. A friend said I shouldn't be going home early this early on, as I will be feeling even more rough in a few months and will need sick leave then!! Also I said I felt really sick and she said oh no you shouldn't be feeling sick yet (I'm just over 5 weeks). I feel so alone! (No she hasn't had a child herself!!)
I just don’t know if I’m able to do this!!