Anxious

[Jessica2017]

I am 22 weeks pregnant this Thursday and I find myself worrying/feeling anxious about labour already (first baby).

I am an anxious person anyway but is it normal? Please help!

[GingerAcorns]

Hi Jessica,

Yes, it is absolutely normal.

Giving birth is a huge life event that most women have no or little experience of before they go through it themselves. That makes it a daunting and unknown event. Also, as kind as it is for friends, family and complete strangers to tell you their pregnancy and birth stories, they often recount the worst bits or dramatise them for effect. Sadly this can cause pregnant women several undue anxieties and worries.

What you need to remember is that women have been giving birth for quite some time now. Women who are weaker than you, who live in more difficult environments than you do, who have conditions which make them sicker than you. If those women can give birth I'm absolutely certain you can.

For every one scary story you hear or read remember that their are many many more which are positive, exciting, happy or simply unremarkable.

There are a couple of things I would urge you to do though. First; I'd recommend that you decide how much knowledge you think you want to gain. Often, women who are empowered by knowledge report better birth experiences. This is thought to be because they have more of an idea of what is going to happen and are not surprised by the unexpected. They feel they have more control and are less vulnerable. Decide what you want and then start preparing yourself. As I said earlier, a lot of what you read/hear could be dramatised so I'd consider looking at some structured antenatal classes if I were you.

Second; I'd encourage you to build a strong and professional relationship with your midwife/midwives. I understand that this can be difficult when most hospitals are unable to provide continuity of midwife but this isn't the fault of any individual. The midwife or team which provides your care will sincerely want what is best for you. Start a dialogue with them now about your anxieties and they'll be able to guide you through your pregnancy and support you accordingly.

I wish you all the best for the future, let me know if I can help further.

[ChrisWest1983]

Hello dear!

It's very normal to worry (specially if you're a worrier type like me) 😊 and going through it the first time (worried about the unknown)

I am now 26 weeks pregnant but less worried than I was at the beginning. What helped me? I bought on Amazon Ina May's Guide to Childbirth- Book by Ina May Gaskin. After reading the book I have confidence in myself and my ability that I can do it! There are videos on YouTube where she speaks and she's American but comes to conferences all around the worl to teach about childbirth (I wish she was my midwife as I fell in love with her reading her book)

In the book there are other women experiences described as well as practical bits - very inspiring and emotional and preparational read!

My mum gave natural birth to 5 of us, my sister has 3 kids and loved the experience: she said that the less worried she was and more she listened to her body - the more enjoyable it was (the delivery with the third one was so great that she would love to have 4th child- and the fact that in our family there's no baby born lighter than 7,3lb (second and third babies are around 9,2lb) : it gives me a confidence that we can do it!)

x

[Hidden]

Hiya!

The ladies replies above are perfect but I just wanted to add. I now have a four week old baby and I was also really anxious about the birth. I was in labour at the hospital for 17 hours and it felt like thirty minites. The time just flew by! Overall the labour was not as bad as I thought it would be. I was induced which scared me so much because I heard it was a more painful labour but I had researched drug options and did take pain relief and I coped fine! I even had a few ten minute naps! My partner and the midwives were amazing too, you are never on your own.

Also, by the time you are 40 weeks pregnant you are so desperate to see baby (and not be uncomfortably pregnant any more!) that you'll try anything to go into labour! I never throught I'd feel like that but I did!

In the end I wished I had never worried about the labour as much as I did so I pass that onto you. Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can, and trust in yourself that when the times comes, you will cope with the labour in a way that makes it as easy as it can be for you and you alone.

Hope that helps and have a lovely pregnancy!

Becca xx

[Jessica2017 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for the lovely reply It made me smile!

That has filled me with a sense of calm so thank you xxxx

[MillyK]

Hi, great replies above. I also recommend looking into hypnobirthing (much less weird than it sounds) because that's great for reducing anxiety around birth and giving self-confidence. If you start to think maybe your anxiety level isn't normal, you're worrying constantly or it's getting in the way of doing normal everyday things like having a decent night's sleep, leaving the house and seeing friends etc, definitely see a GP and be insistent because pre- and/or post-natal anxiety is a genuine mental health condition and would need to be dealt with as soon as poss. Good luck and have a lovely pregnancy!