In need of advice

[marilynmonroe92]

I need some advice on a very delicate matter

[stilllearning2016]

Let us know what's on your kind, marylin! No need to be careful with your questions. It is all anonymous, ask what you like. We're here to support you!

[stilllearning2016 in reply to stilllearning2016]

sorry, mind, not kind

[marilynmonroe92 in reply to stilllearning2016]

This is my second pregnancy and.im scared child services will take my kid any advice

[stilllearning2016 in reply to marilynmonroe92]

Ah, that is a big worry you are carrying around.

I have no experience with this situation, won't be much help.

But I think people who know more about it would ask you these questions:

did you have to give up your first child? is it in child services now or back with you?

what are the reasons this happened before or that you worry this might happen now? Are you under age? Do you have a hustory of drug abuse? Or was there neglect or abuse against you or your first child by a partner or family members?

I suggest you take a bit of time to write up your story a little bit so people understand your situation better. Then put this text as a new post and give it a title like "Will child services take away my baby? Worried - please help!" With this title, people who can offer you good advice because they understand more about this problem will answer you. They might not see this post, "in need of advice" could be so many different things...

[marilynmonroe92]

No he's adopted.

[marilynmonroe92]

No there was no abuse.or drugs involved and no not.under age I'm 24

[stilllearning2016 in reply to marilynmonroe92]

So where does your worry stem from?

[marilynmonroe92 in reply to stilllearning2016]

Well child services showed up a couple days after my first son was born at the hospital and now.im scared it's gonna happen again I can't lose this baby too I'd be heart broken so what do I do but yet again my son's dad was never there and I was a single mom but I'm scared that they are gonna assume once again that I'm a.bad mom and that I can't take care child I'm not a single parent this time so what can I do

[stilllearning2016]

So if I understand you correctly, after the birth of your first baby child services showed up

where you both were and took your baby from you to let it be adopted, is that right? What a traumatic experience that must have been for you!!!

Were you under age at that time?

I can't imagine child services take a woman's baby because she is single - that would be unlawful. Something other must have been the reason, no?

What country are you in? I think in your situation, very specific advice is needed to help you. That might involve getting counsel and maybe even a legal representation early on to put your mind at ease.

[marilynmonroe92 in reply to stilllearning2016]

I was 21 when I had him

[stilllearning2016 in reply to marilynmonroe92]

Wow I am shocked. How can this happen? Did they convince you to give your son up for adoption? I am so sorry!!!

You are more likely to get help from other mom's knowing more if you put the problem in the title of your post - just make a new one.

Can you get specific counsel where you are? I think that is so important for you - you need someone supporting you and "speaking for you" in real life.

If you are no danger to your health or the health of your child, and you want to keep your baby, there should be no question that you can have the baby!

Is your partner supportive of you and your baby?

[stilllearning2016]

This website looks like you might find the right kind of help and advice on it (it's for England and Wales mainly, so if you live elsewhere, you might need to find a similar service where you are):

frg.org.uk/about-us

... "Offering a free and confidential telephone and digital advice service providing legal and practical advice to families."...

There is also a forum on there, I think you will find more parents writing there who have had similar experiences to yours.

frg.org.uk/ParentsForum/

And this site is worth looking at for you I think:

frg.org.uk/need-help-or-adv...

[stilllearning2016]

Hi Marilyn, How are you doing? Hope all is ok...

[Muminspire1]

From what I know there has to be a proven reason with evidence before any one gets their baby taken away. Alcohol abuse, drug abuse, severe mental health problems that could result in neglect and harm, history of abuse, neglect and self harming e.t.c. No one gets their child taken because of being under age unless Mum consents to it. There is lots of single parents now so that is not a valid reason either. Whatever happened before in this situation, you have not given us enough to be able to help more. Discuss the issue with your midwife who will pinpoint you to the right direction. The state takes away children for several reasons and normally as a last resort. I know someone who had drug issues e.t.c and the child was given to Mums Sister after a lengthy multi service approach. As Mum couldn't care for the baby........ If you want to tell us more may be someone here can relate and reply .......

[roxannacar]

I agree with Sumariamira. There must be information missing to this story. Talking about the UK-Child services only take children as a last resort. Also if they took children of all single 21 year olds they would be inundated with children. I would definitely speak to your midwife and try get help for whatever your problem is. As heart braking as it is, if your child is at risk it would be negligent from social services side to let things be