Anxiety

[LottyB]

Me again, sorry! Niamh is now five months old. Her sleep is kind of settling down a bit, so hopefully we're getting there with that. She keeps trying to pinch food off my plate, so have started a little bit of baby rice or porridge late afternoon, which she loves. 😊

As much as Niamh seems to be doing brilliantly, I am starting to feel more and more anxious. Its been there a couple of weeks, but I just assumed it was because I was tired, but if anything its getting worse now I'm getting a little more sleep. Every little whimper almost sends me into some crazy crying person, worrying that something is horribly wrong, when I logically know she's fine.

Is this normal?

Cx

[tazmania]

Hiya, this sounds similar to my experience of postnatal anxiety and depression. I felt like I was on high alert all of the time for her crying, often I would imagine the sound of her crying and my heart would race even though it was all in my head. Was also hyper-vigilant in general - easily startled by noise, feeling sick in the evenings approaching bedtime as i knew that i would be woken so many times, waking up in sweat in the middle of the night, on-edge, panicking when my partner was home 10 minutes late convinced that he had been knocked off his bike. it was bad immediately after i gave birth, but then settled for a few weeks, only to return at about 5 months post partum and got gradually worse over the coming months. Does any of this resonate with you? My employer sent me for counselling, which in short led to a diagnosis of post traumatic stress (resulting from what seemed a relatively normal birth to others, but also related to the terrible weeks of colic and an unsupportive partner). For me personally it got better when I restarted the medication I had been taking pre-baby. I am a different person now. Perhaps you need some extra support to get you through this tough time, not necessarily medication only but your GP surgery probably has an in-house mental health service as an initial point of contact. Best wishes to you xx

[LottyB in reply to tazmania]

Very similar to me! I get really angry when paddy isn't home on time, though I know I can do it better on my own. Haha. I feel very much like a single mum a lot of the time, but when I try and explain that to him, he just says he has to work, which is true. Being self employed he doesn't get paid holiday.

I need to go to the doctors about contraception anyway so I'll have a chat with them and see what they say.

Thankyou! 😘 xx

[tazmania in reply to LottyB]

every single thing you said there LottyB, struck chords with me. It's like we're living the same life!! self employed partners never getting time off, wishing they would come home on time but at the same time not wanting them to come and stomp around and interfere with the very specific things you doing to soothe them!

[tazmania in reply to tazmania]

p.s. it got much better between us when she got to about 10 months, once they can communicate through gestures and things, everything gets better

[LottyB in reply to tazmania]

Only another five to get through then. 🙈 I did bedtime on my own tonight as paddy had to take his dad to an oncology appointment, and Niamh didn't cry or whinge at all. We had a bath, story, bottle then a cuddle and a quiet chat, put her in her cot, she smiled and coo'd at me for a minute, then sucked her thumb and fell asleep smiling. 😍

Thanks mummy twin. Hehe. 😘 xxx

[Hidden]

Hey there, I can def associate with some of this. I used to be infuriated that my husband didn't know what we needed him to do and when (how could he when I didn't even know what to do next)?!!!

This would then be followed by much annoyance that when he did do things it wasn't exactly as I felt they should be.

I think I had set myself such high and unrealistic standards neither of us could maintain. In the end my husband said you just tell me what you need me to do to help and I'll do it and as soon as I did (in a nice way of course) things got much better and we both understood how we could work as a team.

At one point I also felt as if I was not really with it and going through the motions - I over analysed everything from how often he woke, why he woke up/wouldn't go back to sleep/how long he was going to sleep for. How many ounces should he have/why is he crying - it was exhausting 😟. In the end my mum sat me down and we had a talk along the lines of sometimes babies just cry and everything is a phase and 'this too shall pass'. I still remind myself of this saying now and he's two 😆.

Rest assured you're not the only mummy to feel this way and things will get better however always good to see what help your GP can offer xxx

[LottyB in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I think its definitely my fella (or majority absence of) that I am struggling with. He's very short tempered too which means he wants to leave her to get on with it more, where at the moment, the more she cries the more anxious I get. And cuddling her makes me feel better cos she's just so scrummy. 😍 I think he needs a talking to. Anybody want to offer?!? Lol. Xx

[Hidden]

Don't think I can help with the talking to 😡!! but I do think this is a bit of a man thing. I would def feel more anxious when Eoin was upset/crying as I felt I wasn't 'getting it right' and the more upset he was the more anxious and snappy I became. Once I understood that was what triggered it I could control things better and communicate with hubby.

Whilst they're tiny babies I think the bond is mostly with mummy - once our son got bigger daddy became more significant and sometimes now only daddy will do 😊.

[LottyB in reply to Hidden]

Eoin was one of our boy names we liked! 😊

I feel better just telling you all. Thanks ladies. Xxx