Hi, just wondered how everyone coped their first day on their own. Hubby due back to work next week and worried i wont cope on my own.

[mellymoo]

My baby will be 3 weeks old when my hubby goes back. Have been very teary and hormonal and just worry i wont cope well.

[adeline123]

Dont try to do too much. No housework at all . sleep/dose when baby sleeps. Have you been out of the house yet? If not plan to do this with someone else to help for the first time. If possible relax there is nothing for you to do other than feed and enjoy your baby.

[Lovestar]

Try not to worry - it is perfectly normal to feel teary and quite overwhelmed and upset for the first few weeks (at least!) as it is such a massive thing to get used to. Babies are very demanding and need fed every couple of hours which can wear you down in the first few weeks. If you are feeling upset or frustrated just leave the room and have a few minutes alone to gather your thoughts. Keep things simple and go with the flow. If you are able to stay relaxed baby should be too. A nice calm atmosphere should help baby relax and sleep better. They aren't babies for long, time flies so try and enjoy your time with your baby as much as you can which is easier said than done but in a couple of months these hard first weeks will be a very distant memory. Good luck x

[vintage1992]

You will be fine. I was very teary for a couple of months after my little girl was born and was really nervous looking after her alone but we were fine. We didn't get a.lot done but it was lovely and what kept me going was remembering that even on her worst days when it felt like she would never stop crying, a day can't last forever. Your partner will come back home at some point and you will eventually forget about how stressful it felt at the time. Hope you enjoy yourselves

[kerry1607]

I arranged for friends to come round or met up with friends to not be alone completely in the week my partner went back to work xxx

[firefly_]

I felt a bit like this the other day and my husband was just in the garage! Don't worry about the housework, just focus on bub, everything else can wait! Maybe let your hubby know how you are feeling so he comes home on time (if he can) and will be more understanding if you've had a hard day?

[uruztiwaz]

I know how you feel, my OH went back to work one week after we got out of hospital and I seemed to spend the first few days doing nothing but feeding the baby and crying.

I'd recommend getting some easy meals for yourself, either in the freezer or make a salad/sandwiches the night before. Its easy to forget to feed yourself when the baby is hungry and having something that you can eat with one hand is really handy. Then just try and relax, housework can be put off a bit. Maybe get yourself a box set to watch? I got through 3 seasons of Game of Thrones in that first week and although I felt mildly embarrassed about it when I told my mum, I loved being able to curl up on the sofa with a hungry/sleepy baby and get some me time.

Good luck, am sure you'll be fine xx

[Jacksonla]

I felt exactly the same way, I felt physically sick the night before he went back to work thinking about how I would cope on my own with a two week old! But I promise you it will be fine. Take it slow & just be prepared for the fact that you are likely to be sat on the sofa for a few days enjoying that special time with your baby! As others have said, housework can wait & you don't even have to get out of your pj's if you don't want to! I agree with the comment about pre-preparing some food & healthy snacks because I struggled to find the time to eat at first.

My LO is 7 months old & I'm now starting to miss that time where we just fed & cuddled all day long!

Time flies so quickly, just enjoy it as much as you can. You'll be fine xx

[lou42]

What lovely words from these wise ladies. You never know, you might like it! I found it a bit of a relief to be able to do things my way without worrying about what my other half thought! Don't beat yourself up about housework or cooking. Eat whatever and watch tv, sleep whenever you get a second. Sleep is definitely the best defence against feeling down. second is eating ice cream. Xxx

[pregnantbride]

As you can see from the replies so far you're not on your own with this worry! I couldn't even bring myself to say out loud that my husband was going back to work because I'd burst into tears (again!) We'd only had a few days of his paternity at home together unfortunately as our boy was re-admitted back to hospital due to feeding & weight problems, so I was really stressed & unprepared when he had to go back to work. I agree with the other comments that you should either sort meals out in advance or get family/friends to do them. Also, don't feel guilty if a lot of your time is spent sat on your bum with the TV on either feeding or cuddling your little one.

My experience is that it was easier than I thought it would be & it eventually helped me to build my confidence & get to know my baby a bit better. Best of all when my husband came home it re-energised me & gave me something to look forward to. Weekends also feel lovely so there really are some perks to it! The biggest thing to remember is that there will still be times when you feel below par or doubt yourself but they will become less & less ... & the best person to look after your baby is YOU so have faith that you're doing ok.

I'm not 100% out of the woods yet (he's 6 weeks old in now) but I do feel that I'm getting somewhere and don't doubt that you'll be fine too. All the best with it!

[wottie81]

I had/still have so mucn anxiety about this as my partner goes away every other week and worked away for a month when my little one was just two weeks old. There is no doubt it is hard but you will cope. If you're really worried why not arrange to have some company for part of the day? Don't do the whole day because then you aren't challenging the anxiety but a couple of hours' support/company will be just the tonic.

I cried all the time at first - so did everyone else I know. It's quite normal.

[Char86]

Visit parks on dry days (just to walk around and get some air/exercise).

Use a sling to wear baby and then you can do chores or go for a walk and both can burn off a few more baby pounds

(This and breastfeeding meant that I was pre-baby weight a lot faster compared to formula feeding and pram pushing with my first)

Place baby in their cot and have a snooze when baby does, that way baby is always used to their bed and you get some shut I knowing baby I safe in their cot and you wont suffocate them on the couch.

Or if you have read the UNICEF Safe Bed-sharing leaflet and tick all the boxes, means you can also bed-share at nap-time. either way it gets baby into good habits of sleep = bed

Find some like-minded mummies in your area through a children-centre etc so that you can meet mums and socialise baby (never too young).

Remember a healthy mum is one that balances exercise/healthy eating/socialising/chore/rest If you can do each of these a minimum of once a week, you'll be one healthy and well balanced mum

[mellymoo]

Thank you so so much everyone for your replies. It is so comforting to know I am not going mad and that I am not the only one that feels like this. I was a strong independent person before I gave birth! I was not prepared for the emotional side of things. I miscarried my first pregnancy and I was so focussed on this pregnancy being successful that I didn't let myself think about actually becoming a mum. xx

[Char86 in reply to mellymoo]

No we all go through the "AGHHH!!! Waht happened to my body?" Phase, followed by the "How on earth can I get it back" Months later you come to a stale mate as your weight plateaus and then wonder "will I ever get back into the clothes/social life I once had?"

Fact is if you work at it (and follow the steps I and others gave you) you WILL get into those old clothes. The social life... it changes like you have. I remember after DS1 going out with old friends, and asking myself "what the hell do I have in common with these people" I went home and talked to my husband and he smiled and said "you have grown up and they haven't"

He was so supportive, he found me some groups via the internet and I went and met up with like-minded mums... I know have a knew set of friends and a better social life

Just take your time and enjoy LO whilst they are young. sorry to hear about your miscarriages, there are support groups out there if ever you need to talk about it