Good morning - In an earlier post I explained that I had to return to 10 mg. Since increasing I have been experiencing significant feelings of anxiety , being overwhelmed, anger and isolation. I’ve tried to refocus my mind , but my thoughts keep revisiting a variety of issues. I have tried to ensure I get exercise and try to shift the dark clouds , but sometimes it’s impossible and I have outbursts and tears.
It is difficult in my partner and those around me.
I have been reducing my meds as recommended and the inflammation appears under control. It’s my emotions now that have gone haywire!
🥺 Any support or advice are welcomed. Thank you
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Belfastman
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Well you’ve taken the first big step by sharing it here. Many of us know this rage and becoming fixated on past injustices. The irritation as articles quaintly call it, is “Roid” rage caused directly by Steroids. To me it feels rather like Premenstrual tension, if you have experienced it. Not much helps, under stress I still fall into a pit of hatred. The sensible option is to learn meditation, try yoga, do some mindfulness classes. Avoid things that give you stress if you can. Have enough sleep including a daytime nap. Or just shout and cry. It is all so bl**dy. unfair!
Thank you - I practice mindfulness daily and have Accupunture and reflexology once a month. But this time it seems so sudden. Between trying to get some work in the house completed to dealing with caring for my 99 year old mum long distance I can get infuriated with any one in my path. Not a pretty sight . Plus I don’t recover well from my explosive behaviour and neither does my partner. Understandably 🙈🙈
Sounds very familiar! I had a bout of this a few days ago. After a day of sheer bad temper, shouting at poor dog, swearing, and probably sending my BP sky high, I crumpled into uncontrollable sobbing in the evening (and I'm not one prone to tears) bringing undeserved consoling kisses from dog. I had been dwelling on past injustices, plotting theoretical revenge. Next day I was more or less on an even keel. Still on 20 mg pred and have been told emotional turmoil will improve when I've reduced more. Shouting and crying DOES help - it's a release! And the dog is very forgiving, as are the neighbours in my terrace 😔😴😌
It does improve but oh it IS trying. I think it does magnify what simmers underneath, that we suppress during our life too. Not necessarily the intensity but the subject matter. It is also a case of knowing when to seek help such as if it is damaging relationships or making one’s behaviour spill out onto more critical things, not least your quality of life.
I think this will settle as it followed your increase in dose. It took you by surprise and knocked you off balance.
I eventually moved my mum to my town ( dementia) and into a nursing home round the corner. I developed a good working relationship with the manager and staff of the home. It was worth all the social services nonsense, just to have her there and see her every day. She thought she was in a posh hotel. She would never have agreed had she had her mental capacity, but it was a massive weight off my mind. There will be a sensible solution, you just need a calm space to find it. Involve your partner in this, they can be helpful without the complexities of dealing with their own mum. Perhaps some of your great strategies for coping could help them too. Thinking of you, you are in a tough patch.x
Emotions can be so sneaky, even without steroids! Sounds like you are doing all the “right things,” like exercise, redirecting your thoughts, mindfulness, etc. Wondering if there are troubling things that have been ignored or suppressed for too long that are now surfacing and needing to be listened to and dealt with. Have you tried journaling/brain dumping? Get alone and let it all out of the head and into the paper. Be totally honest and unashamed: they are just feelings. You can keep the journal, or tear up the pages and throw them away. It may be time to see a counselor who can help you sort through your feelings and find a way to deal with them that helps you and your relationship.
Thank you - I used to journal for years and may return to the routine again. I do think the meds have affected my moods dramatically . Let’s hope things calm down when I reduce more. When I was at 5 mg my mood swings were minimal.
The rage and the weepies are very familiar. They will be temporary but you may get them back for a bit as you get into adrenal territory.
As you do mindfulness, I would suggest building in an intention that if you feel these coming on in when you're with other people you take yourself out of the situation until the emotion passes, rather than reacting in a way you may feel bad about later. I frame it in a way that even if the pred has these effects, I'm not going to let it disrupt my relationships.
The other approach I found very helpful is to introduce some meditation based around joy. You can generate feelings of happiness by using heart based techniques. It is quite phenomenal how effective this is. Again these will be a counterbalance to the negative stuff.
Also perhaps finding a carers organisation which has someone you can talk the pressures through with - offloading is great.
You have a lot going on, and as others have said, you have taken first step by admitting you are struggling… and although we maybe cannot help in person, we do understand having been there at times. Sending a virtual hug and best wishes…🌸
I suspect part of the problem may also be a feeling of loss of control because of a perceived failure to continue to reduce your pred dose and that on top of all the rest is just simply too overwhelming.
Being a carer is seriously hard work - I know. And I needed a lot more pred to do it. Is the work in the house, housework or renovations? We aren't Superwoman - don't have such high expectations of yourself.
Not to be recommended with PMR anyway, but in tandem? Definitely not. However, you tend to have to finish what has been started so is someone to help there an option?
When I was on 10mg I invited four friends round for a curry lunch. Nothing special, and I had already made one of the curries and frozen it. A couple of days beforehand I had an absolute meltdown, all completely illogical, just felt that I couldn't cope with it at all. I cancelled the lunch but couldn't get across to our friends why I felt unable to cope. They were very polite about it, but understandably I got a few strange looks. My rheumy said that, apart from the pred, auto-immune conditions affect you mentally as well as physically. A lot of people on this forum will absolutely understand where you're coming from, but it is so difficult to get it across to others who need to give you time, space and understanding. All the best and I hope that this phase doesn't last long. Treasure your cleaner, little things will help!
When I was on 10mg I invited four friends round for a curry lunch. Nothing special, and I had already made one of the curries and frozen it. A couple of days beforehand I had an absolute meltdown, all completely illogical, just felt that I couldn't cope with it at all. I cancelled the lunch but couldn't get across to our friends why I felt unable to cope. They were very polite about it, but understandably I got a few strange looks. My rheumy said that, apart from the pred, auto-immune conditions affect you mentally as well as physically. A lot of people on this forum will absolutely understand where you're coming from, but it is so difficult to get it across to others who need to give you time, space and understanding. All the best and I hope that this phase doesn't last long. Treasure your cleaner, little things will help!
Thank you again for this support . Your cancelling the Curry night really resonates with me AshPen9. It’s like suddenly something that seems rather simple or planned well in advance becomes an impossible task. It is really difficult for others to understand, particularly when you enjoyed such things in the past. Thanks again
In sympathy with you, and hope all all these helpful messages support and boost you... sitting here reading the thread and feeling tearful myself. Shall write a quick post as to why, separately. However, very best of strength to you, xx
Hi there. I also felt all the emotions you describe caused by many difficulties at home. My dr persuaded me to take an anti depressant. I agreed very reluctantly but I’m so glad I did. I’ve reduced the dosage but still take half the original dose every evening. As my dr says people sometimes just take it to help sleep. At difficult times we need help. Sometimes we just can’t manage despite all the coping strategies suggested.
I think there are many issues which arise from being diagnosed, to the steroid treatment, the massive life changes just dealing with PMR brings, the sense of unfairness, loss, on top of tiredness and trying to manage. I found counselling helpful.
Hi, I can fully sympathize with how you are feeling. I’m on 10mg and I’m having exactly the same issues. Some days I don’t feel in control of my emotions at all. I can go from angry to weepy in seconds. Hang in there we will get through this. 🌸
I mainly do breathing exercises and mindfulness. Last night, in floods of tears, I just felt like giving up on everything but then soon after I realised that wasn't it. I just needed to shift my mind a little and let go instead. Let go of the struggle, the fight, the anger, the distress. And surrender. I did that and then slept for 10 hours after 3 months of extreme steroid insomnia. Alternatively pummel a pillow and let the anger and upset out that way. Good luck. You are not alone.
Aren't these people amazing!!!? Yes, you are having a normal reaction to pred and all of these people have been there and have wisdom on how to deal with it. Keep us posted.
Reminiscing about my very first outburst when on 20mg, and realising how lucky I have been with my partners initial reaction. I guess it was an out of character , loud , raging reaction over something trivial. It was short , sharp and shocked us both. My eyes were popping out of my head, his eyes were popping as well- there was a short shocked silence , and then we both burst into hysterical laughter. That set the pattern fortunately for me . If only all partners and family could accept our overreactions and immediately move on, knowing that it will eventually pass .
I am going through the same as you again now I’m down to 4mg , again. My husband puts my favourite (Brit) comedian on the tele. It works for me. It calms me down , redirects my mind. Keep reminding yourself and your partner that ‘this’ will pass!
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