Newly diagnosed

[Sibelius5]

I’m a retired lecturer in English at Hull university. I was diagnosed with PMR in August 2023. My wife Les was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in the mid 1980s in her mid 40s and then developed lupus and later diverticulitis and cauda equina after I retired in 2013. She was severely ill for the last years before she died during lockdown in June 2020. Thankfully I was with her in the nursing home. I’ve been in deep grief since then and at the same time I have been being very busy and active, taking up abstract painting at a local alternative art school and culminating in a three month trip to revisit Australia this year, where Les and I had two lengthy trips in the 1990s for my academic work. During the trip I felt stretched to my limit and beyond, and three years on from Les’s death, I think my body just said that’s enough, you need to stop now - and the PMR has certainly done that. I have been sitting quietly recuperating, reading and watching the birds and flowers in the sun in our garden ever since and finding out from various sources, including the very helpful Kate Gilbert book, what it is I am experiencing. I am beginning to feel the steroids are starting to manage this condition more effectively, so I’m beginning to slowly reactivate and try out activities I used to take for granted but do them on a smaller, more careful scale.

[SheffieldJane]

I am so sorry that you lost your wife after a long and challenging battle with health problems. I am not surprised that PMR brought you to a halt, as it does with may of us, following extreme stress. Your story is heartening in that you have found the sun poking through the clouds in aspects of your life. Finding an artistic expression and getting intimate with nature. You are wise to get to know this tricky condition and to learn to manage it in a mindful way. Acceptance is tough and necessary, you are well on the way. Wishing you joy and health in your future. You do seem to have found the path. 🌷

[Sibelius5 in reply to SheffieldJane]

Thanks

[PMRpro Ambassador]

Hi and welcome. Yes - it isn't at the time it hits you physically. I had had PMR for years but during Covid and my husband's final illness I needed more pred to function physically caring for him. Six months after he died - I had a massive flare and needed even more pred.

But this too shall pass. I have only just decided it is time to do something - but it won't be revisiting the scenes of past academic-related excursions. I shall gently explore the bits of Europe that were neglected in favour of the Pacific rim!!!

[Artandpoetry in reply to PMRpro]

I love “this too shall pass” . Have some wonderful adventures. Please share them with us. You so deserve some treats having given so much of your time to fellow sufferers! 💖

[Sibelius5 in reply to PMRpro]

Thanks

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer]

Hi and welcome….many of us know how long and in many difference forms bereavement can take.

Wishing you all the best with your PMR and your different way of life.

[Sibelius5 in reply to DorsetLady]

Thanks

[piglette]

What a sad time you have had. As the late queen said “Grief is the price we pay for love.” She was right.

If you have not joined yet you may be interested in our PMR and GCA Gardening group. facebook.com/groups/6288051...

[Sibelius5 in reply to piglette]

Thanks piglette

[S4ndy]

Welcome to the club no one wants to join. So sorry for your loss. I too lost my partner of 45 years a year ago. It is getting easier though as I am rebuilding my life and doing the things that make me happy. I know my late hubby would want me to get on with life. Sorry you are suffering but this too will pass.

I've had PMR for many years and now on a 5mg a day maintenance dose. Just recovered from a lumbar decompression to free up my nerves and relieve pressure on my cauda equina. It's been life changing for me.

So hang on in there, take one day at a time and embrace the way you are now as the past is just that, the past. Sounds like a cliche but being in the moment really works for me.

[Sibelius5 in reply to S4ndy]

Thanks S4ndy

[Body_bonkers]

Sorry to hear your story Sibelius5 and wishing you a smooth recovery. Grief and PMR are similar in that they will do they're own thing so continue to take each day as it comes

[Sibelius5 in reply to Body_bonkers]

Thanks