The benefit of PMR? Simplicity: After 3 years into... - PMRGCAuk

PMRGCAuk

20,120 members37,704 posts

The benefit of PMR? Simplicity

bunnymom profile image
67 Replies

After 3 years into this autoimmune thing my husband and I congratulated ourselves the other night because we have learned to cope. And on further reflection I realized I have been given a great gift in the midst of this. Simplicity. I now live a very simple satisfying life. I save my energy to do only what I really want to do, what is really important to me. Lest you think this sounds selfish I include small acts of kindness for others. For example, if we have a nice meal with leftovers that will freeze I pass them on to a widow that no longer cares to cook. I am planning cut flower beds to be able to make and take small bouquets to people this summer. All very manageable for me.

Am i able to be the administrator of a school program where I used to work? No. Brain fog. Can I care for my grandchildren 4 and 2 for 8 hours a day? No. Can I mulitask. No. I sit with my heat pad on my shoulders as I type this so I am not pain free, however that terrible malaise has left me for now. I don't have much fatigue either but if I don't have motivation to do something I rest now because I know my body must be tired. I try to balance exercise with the need to rest.

All this to say as you make your own personal journey thru PMR you may find some unexpected gifts along the way if you keep an open mind and heart.

Wishing you Well today,

Bunnymom

Written by
bunnymom profile image
bunnymom
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
67 Replies
SnazzyD profile image
SnazzyD

With you 100% on that one!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador

Love it!

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

Good philosophy!

We all need to simplify our lives - some more than others - and no, definitely not selfish. 💐

Polywotsit profile image
PolywotsitPMRGCAuk team member

Well done to you! So much good sense and wisdom too.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Polywotsit

Thank you 😘

bakingD profile image
bakingD

Very wise words!!I too have decided to simplify my life have just handed in my notice at work🌈I started a v stressful job and developed PMR only 5 weeks after so have decided to take some time out to enjoy whatever summer Britain chucks at us this year!!!

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane

Perfectly expressed. That is the art of living with these diseases. At least our lives are not rushing by in an over- committed blur, because we just can’t. The kindness to others is key, therein happiness lies.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to SheffieldJane

It's funny before I was was sick I felt I never got everything done. Now I keep up. Go figure.

GOOD_GRIEF profile image
GOOD_GRIEF in reply to SheffieldJane

Maybe it's the actual art of living....

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to GOOD_GRIEF

Amen! I think it is. Living and not just doing.

stellafmdm profile image
stellafmdm in reply to SheffieldJane

I removed a notice from a car saying: 'xxxxxx police are lying pigs' Now I have armed myself with small notices saying something about spreading kindness and happiness to replace any rude ones I see!

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply to stellafmdm

What a sweet idea! Somebody in Sheffield used to do very neat little handwritten pieces of graffiti on the sides of ugly buildings with messages like “ love each other”. I found them cheering and intriguing.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to stellafmdm

Good for you! My daughter and son in law are both police. Thank you. ❤️

pollymarierose profile image
pollymarierose

I really like what you just said. My husband has always said that I had a hard time sitting down and doing nothing. I was always the great multi tasker. I think the only one who enjoyed that person was me and then was I really happy always trying to be busy? I have been forced to sit alot now for months (almost always with a heating pad). I feel like I have so many more friends (my pmr friends that I talk to everyday), I sit through and enjoy at least one movie a day, and am hoping to start up crafts again from my chair. I know about how good it feels to give to others because, for 90% of the crafts that I have done I gave away.

We bought a cute little cottage a little over a year ago to retire in and I've spent most of my time decorating it to make it the home I always dreamed of. Maybe I'm supposed to take time to enjoy it now! I hope my husband and I get to celebrate like you and yours soon 💖

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to pollymarierose

Me too ❤️ I am fortunate that I enjoy my home and where I live.

PMRCanada profile image
PMRCanada

Agreed bunnymom! I too have simplified my life. I have also developed a greater sense of empathy and compassion towards others now that I’ve experienced all that PMR brings with it. I’m now grateful for the smallest things and don’t take things for granted.

Thank you for the lovely post.

Pongo13 profile image
Pongo13

Strikes a chord - the heated wheat neck scarf is always on at home! I pace myself and keep pretty busy so if I need to sort the trotters I have to put time into diary - just this simple task can drain me on a work day! X

Grants148 profile image
Grants148

So true bunnymum,lovely post x🌷💐

Cyclegirl54 profile image
Cyclegirl54

Love this!

Louisepenygraig profile image
Louisepenygraig

That's a really good way of looking at it. I'll have to try to follow your example

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Louisepenygraig

Some days are easier than others but we are better for looking for joy in every day.

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12 in reply to Louisepenygraig

Darling it is a huge mental shift. But the rewards are just fantastic xxx

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Daisychain12

Yes and so life enhancing. ❤️

teesher profile image
teesher

What lovely wise words Bunnymom. Pmr is frustrating, depressing, and infuriating but it makes you slow down. I do things more carefully now and it affects my thinking. Makes me take my time. The world won't end and I notice more of it now.

Yellowbluebell profile image
Yellowbluebell

I wouldn't say inhave got simplicity yet bu definitely working towards it. I also save my energy for what I want to do and it's for a.very selfish reason, spending time with my grandson who is nearly 7. I might not be as energetic as I was assuming I would be at 55 but as long as his memories of his nanny are good then using my limited energy on him is all I want. Everyone else has to stand in line to see if I have energy spare for them. Still working towards that totally simple life where i dont feel guilty.YB

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Yellowbluebell

When I feel guilty it's usually me telling myself what I think I should be able to do but I have to stop myself and say... But I'm sick.

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12 in reply to Yellowbluebell

Ybb. I have an 8 year old grandson who is the light of my life. I’ve managed to let go of my old life although it cost me many tears and rages. If I can see my boy and his 4 year old brother I feel wonderful. It’s a huge mental shift. Please keep trying xxc

Daisychain12 profile image
Daisychain12

I sincerely wish this marvellous post could be pinned. I think it would bring comfort and hope to those in despair as I have been. I was not wise like you. I fought and panicked although latterly I’ve reached the place you have. Well done and thank you so much for sharing. Xxx

Sandradsn profile image
Sandradsn

Through this journey I have learnt to say no more which I find difficult.I find myself volunteering for things then thinking about doing it and backing away.My husband reminds me I can help out when I'm better.👍😁

Soraya_PMR profile image
Soraya_PMR

One of my epiphanies was when I realised I don’t have to do xxxx today, it can wait until tomorrow.....or the next day......or the one after that. I’m not keen now when the outside world comes knocking and tries to get me back to a timetable. Maybe that’s why we tend to isolate ourselves?

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Soraya_PMR

I too move to dos from oneday to the next and occasionally even move something up. I enjoy my list but I don't want someone else's or them adding to mine.

Blearyeyed profile image
Blearyeyed

Brilliant to hear the tale of someone who not only learnt the acceptance of doing what they need to do , not what they think they should do , but also , the realization that the simplicity you were originally forced to live by will actually be a blessing and better way of Life when PMR is far in the past.

A perfectly positive feeling , hugs , well done , Bee xx

Baileyw06 profile image
Baileyw06

So true,you slow down and listen to your body and stay away from stressful situations and people when you can.We always have to see the positives in every situation.

Mikeysaab profile image
Mikeysaab

Simplicity - great word and I can relate to that. Since my PMR diagnosis last year I have been simplifying every area of my life and trying to eliminate stress points. Get rid of clutter, keep only what I need, don’t over commit, keep plenty of time just to ‘be’, think ahead more, enjoy some creative pursuits, walk as much as possible and breathe the air. I look back and I was on a bandwagon for too long. Now it’s time to embrace this unpleasant illness and use it for the better in my life. #overcomingpmr is my mantra and get my life back.

Sandradsn profile image
Sandradsn in reply to Mikeysaab

I agree Mikeysaab!👍

Pollypuds profile image
Pollypuds in reply to Mikeysaab

Strangely the clutter is being tackled by me as and when energy allows. Cupboards arranged so I can get to stuff I use easily, throw out stuff I never use or rarely. Charity shop already has a bag full and I feel sense of something well done during the day.

Healthworrier profile image
Healthworrier

Thank you for your lovely post. It really puts life into perspective and reveals that cloud (pmr's) silver lining. Sending you best wishes xx

ncfaaeos profile image
ncfaaeos

Spot on!

sauntergirl76 profile image
sauntergirl76

Made me feel so greatfull that this lady is so positive. Well done and so many thanks.

Rox2112 profile image
Rox2112

I love your perspective! Thank you so much for sharing!

I'm still waiting for the horrible fatigue to ease up so I can do similar things for others too!

PMR diagnosed August 2018.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Rox2112

We all do have our "tough bits" as Uncle Mark says. Hope you can see light at the end of your tunnel 😘

Pollypuds profile image
Pollypuds

Lovely uplifting post. I am adapting much the same. Have discovered afternoon crafting, catnaps with cuddles from my cat, saying no to invitations I feel will exhaust me but meet up for coffee and catch up instead. So thankful I don't have to deal with working life and this ailment of ours. Hard on those who do.

Well Done Bunnymom 💕

What a wonderful attitude, learning to say No was something l found almost impossible that’s why l eventually gave up work as l realised l was never going to recover while working under pressure.

Have a Wonderful Day too 🌸

MrsN

Lonsdalelass profile image
Lonsdalelass in reply to

I'm beginning to think the same MrsNails.

Allsgrandso profile image
Allsgrandso

Thanks so much for your lovely post. I can really relate 🥰 from being an extremely active person to having to leave all my active stuff behind. I feel I’m on my second life and have found my new love because of PMR. Things have slowed way down and simplicity rings true indeed 🙏

Visby profile image
Visby

That’s great

Oxford8 profile image
Oxford8

What a lovely post. I read somewhere yesterday 'We are what we are, not just what we do'.

I have had to withdraw from several voluntary positions. Very hard decisions but made harder by the response 'but

can' t you just continue with this one... '.

It' s time to be, not just to do. Thank you for your post bunnymom.

Trish21 profile image
Trish21

Well done on accepting your simple lifestyle. I am just recently diagnosed so have taken steps to chuck out the chintz of complications and although I would have preferred to come to this conclusion without being in constant physical pain of some sort, I am almost ready to move forward. I wish you well

Purplecrow profile image
Purplecrow

Brilliantly stated! Congratulations for arriving at such a liberating state of awareness. It does give back a sense of purpose to life.🙏🏽

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Purplecrow

Yes I do feel I have a very purposeful life, even after retirement! Thanks for that insight.

Sandy1947 profile image
Sandy1947

Thanks for your uplifting post. I agree, I have no choice but lead a simple life. I can’t do hard. I make mistakes and try to compensate by being early for appointments, making unending lists and decreasing amount of activities per day. Being retired allows me to be more patient with my 95 year old mom who is forgetful and repetitive. She calls me many times during the day asking the same questions and immediately forgetting the answers! She finally has a compassionate caretaker! I am blessed that I still have her in my life. PMR lessons are invaluable but scary and sometimes difficult to see.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Sandy1947

Early days were scary indeed. You see it's taken me 3 years to get where I am. I am no fast learner.

1602 profile image
1602

Thanks for reminding me to count my blessings. Good luck xxx

yogabonnie profile image
yogabonnie

Lovely food for thought and action

Monkeymate profile image
Monkeymate

How beautiful is that 💕

Sho-Sho profile image
Sho-Sho

So true - if one good thing has come out of this illness is it has made me far more compassionate and understanding.

Thank you for your post.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to Sho-Sho

Me too.

Lonsdalelass profile image
Lonsdalelass

That's lovely Bunnymom! Great acceptance of this illness we're all suffering from, showing a chilled out and (almost) stress free life, a lesson we can all learn from. X

clieder profile image
clieder

Thank you! Great post. I found it so comforting to read. I have finally learned to say no to morning appointments - just cannot get anywhere early or fast.

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom in reply to clieder

Not do I want to!

navejasjoe profile image
navejasjoe

Hello Bunnymom,

What a very nice message. I will certainly pass this on to my wife who has been battling PMR as long as you have. Awesome reflection!

Joe

jannie21 profile image
jannie21

Brilliant post, it took me a long time to come to terms with my limitations always being a "doer" but I got there and I am so content now.

patriciawhite profile image
patriciawhite

Good points ,Well said .

Slowdown profile image
Slowdown

Beautiful post, bunnymom.. I found this poem, partially quoted, which you may like:

Stillness is my beloved teacher.

From her, I learn new things every day.'

I said to Stillness,

how can you teach me so well?

Stillness said,

By being with you always.

I said to Stillness,

How can you teach me so much?

Stillness said,

Because you have much within you;

I, but a mirror for your mind;

I, but a mirror for your heart.

...

Stillness said,

I cannot leave you;

though you can leave me..

but what is stillness without a companion?

...

I said to Stillness,

may I never leave you.

And Stillness looked me in the eye,

and Stillness smiled at me:

‘I am born with every creature born

to be their friend for life.’

poemhunter.com/poem/stillne... and I didn't know there was an International Day of Stillness!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply to Slowdown

Think you should post this as a new thread so more people see it.

BeansHB profile image
BeansHB

Beautifully stated, Bunnymom! I went through the same type of journey when I was dealing with Lupus. At first, I was devastated by the diagnosis (as well as the symptoms). I then re-evaluated what mattered most to me, which was my health/well-being. You can't have your health be a priority and at the same time ignore what improves or worsens it. After 4 years of managing symptoms, changing my diet, getting regular acupuncture, and leaving a very stressful job, Lupus went into remission. Fast forward 5 years and the PMR diagnosis and symptoms knocked me back. I've had to relearn the lesson of simplifying, changing expectations, and then, ultimately embracing the "new normal". Thanks for your thoughtful reminder of the gifts that this, otherwise challenging, condition brings --- if you just take the time to notice them. Blessings to you!

bunnymom profile image
bunnymom

Blessings to you too. It does take us some to get there doesn't it? Hope I never forget the lessons I've learned. I now recognize suffering when I see it on people's faces.

You may also like...

Is it or is it not PMR

PMR may have returned for the 4th time in 6 years in my shoulders and iliac crest/hip area. I have...

In the aftermath of PMR

where we have to pay for everything that insurance doesn't pay. I hope that the rest of you don't...

? PMR

Hello. I hope you don't mind me posting . I don't know who else to ask and you all seem so friendly

Advice on PMR and cancer

now I have got to the end feel concerned when I read on page 152 'the Keekle primary care team...

PMR or not?

mornings and have some days worse than others. My G.P. has now said that she does not think that I...