She was a widow and ive been told thats the reason.Im Confused.
How can someone say they love you and walk ... - PBC Foundation
How can someone say they love you and walk away from a relationship with no explanations.Would never talk about the relationship during.
14 Replies
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not enough information. Does this have to do with someone having PBC?
Sorry to say but I just do not understand what you are asking.
Is this some sort of riddle for us to work out as I don't understand it either, sorry.
Do you have PBC? Do you think it is connected to having PBC?
Sorry that you are so unhappy and hope you can find someone else who will actually make a lasting relationship with you.
Like the other answers I find what you have said difficult to understand. There are lots of people here who have gone through all kinds of experiences and if you can write again in more detail I am sure someone will be able to help you. If you are depressed it would help you to write things down. Remember we are strangers who do not judge but we would like to become your friends and be able to help.you. God Bless
I feel the disjointed nature of your query probably reflects the confusion you are experiencing which is preventing you from being clear and concise. You seem very depressed and in need of counselling. I too went through a similar experience when my husband found out how ill I was and promptly found himself another younger healthier woman to live with. I as well as everyone thought he adored me. I was obviously very sad that this was not the case. The thing to remember is that men inparticular are not nurturers or carers. They are ultimately in love mostly with themself and resent that we are not going to continue being the woman that they married. Unfortunately the marriage contract says "For better or for worse"; but few men actually adhere to this inclusion. Once you come to terms with the reality of how men think it gets easier. You will be better off on your own and valuing your friendships. But please seek out help to use as a bridge to the calmer side of the river.
JennerLayne in reply to
I'm sorry Romulus, that you had to experience your husband leaving. I think many men are wired to 'turn off' bad news and sweep it under the rug or to just abandon the situation for fear of the unknown. I know that's the case with my husband, who has yet to 'finish the conversation' about my diagnosis last month. He still doesn't know I have PBC and hasn't bothered to ask about the upcoming doctor appointment I suggested he escort me to. In his eyes, 'if we don't talk about it, it cannot exist'. @ Journey: I hope you are able to move forward and get the support you need from family and friends.
in reply to JennerLayne
thank you for your kind wishes JennerLayne, I appreciate the support. I really do hope that your husband is simply stunned by your health problem/s. We all know what bad communicators men are and are unlike us women when it comes to expressing themselves. I did not really intend to be sweepingly scathing about men. There are the diamonds, but you have to be very lucky to have one of those from my observations. Too may times since my experience, I have watched the partner or husband of women in wheelchairs trying to discuss the pros and cons of their illness and treatment. So many are staring blankly at a wall or even a pretty woman instead of engaging in the conversation with their wife. As a matter of fact, after my husband discovered his new woman was only interrested in his money, he asked to come back to me. A man can only do this to me once. Because iof he can do it once, he was never commited in the first place, and he can do it again. I lost respect for him entirely. It was not hard to let him go forever after what he did. I will never marry or live with a man ever again. Most are totally selfish. I really , really hope you got one of the diamonds. I am just realistic about men these days.
My heartfelt wishes to you.
JennerLayne in reply to
Well, he we've been married 26 years and for the most part, he's been a supportive gem through several of my surgeries and even the shingles (when I had post herpetic neuralgia and I screamed and cried day and night for 9 months). However, several years ago, I had a lymphoma scare which kept me under the care of an oncologist for three years as 'watch and wait' --- it turned out to be nothing (although I read this week that many PBCers have those same abdominal enlarged lymph nodes that are benign-- I wish we'd known so I could have skipped PET and CT scans). Hubby was 'in denial' through those years and only showed up once at an appointment after a severe 'you must not love me' argument. He never ever discussed the what-if's with me. On the flipside, last year at age 49, he had prostate cancer (after I insisted he be checked b/c of genetics), and I drove him to appointments, set up visits to discuss alternative treatments, changed his catheter, etc. Who knows what the future holds, but I only hope that his personal experience will make him remember that we're in this together.
I hope I dont fall into this category,but maybe Ive got a head start(a man with PBC-we are quite rare!),but seriously I think its difficult for one human being to understand another persons illness be they male or female.
I have been thinking about this all day and am now begining to understand it better as it's begining to dawn on me that your OH has left and set up home with a widow. You are better off without him if this is the case and I agree with what romulus say's, I am lucky my OH has stuck to me like glue and follows me everywhere to make sure I am safe. Hope you come back to talk to us. Take care XX
from the brief information you have provided I think that if your ex as a widow went into a relationship with you and hadn't properly grieved then it may be that a new relationship not you per se was just too much.
Don't see it as a reflection on you but on the situation. You might get answers from a different site if pbc wasn't involved. I hope you have someone you can speak with and find your way to the other side of your current pain, disappointment and shock. Take Care.
There is a lot of support on this site Journey. Do not think you are on your own with pain; emotional or physical: Let us help you if we can. x x x
This is my first post here. I just wanted to say I'm a bloke, age 41, and I hope I'm not as much of a sod as some of the men described and suffered from on here. Oh and I have PBC. I hope the original poster has found the right thread!
