Why?

Just a question for those who may know....

Why, when all one is trying to do is help, does there seem to be a disagreement on how you are doing it? For instance, G yells me that if I touch him while he's walking that confuses him and yet if I don't he literally will walk around in circles. He will get in a doorway and get confused because he is so close to framing that he'll walk sideways and then end up just standing there without being able to figure out how to move forward. If there is something on the floor he will fix his gaze on that and end up in the corner if I didn't steer him straight. I'll say to him, look up, I'm watching the floor, and he will always, ALWAYS, tell me that he is. I know he's not, and I don't want to 'stress' him but when he continually does that it stresses me. I keep trying to get him to understand that I'm trying to avoid a fall but yet he keeps telling me that I am the one causing that to likely happen. So I've started letting him go on his own, not far mind you, and let him work it out. Just aggrivating! He has CBD

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  • Vsm

    What a difficult question to answer without knowing more detail but I will try from my experience. There is of course your relationship history and whether this is just more of the same.

    As well I notice multitasking becoming increasingly difficult so anything that takes my attention away from what I am doing (eg concentrating on walking) can be stressful no matter what it is.

    Some people get very irritable in their off times when Meds aren't working, everything can seem overwhelmingly difficult and hard and you have very little dopamine to help you feel good spirited so those near you can get a hard time from us.

    Have you tried discussing what he would find helpful at a time when he is feeling good.

    It is very hard to have your helpful intentions rejected. I hope you can work something out.

  • "As well I notice multitasking becoming increasingly difficult so anything that takes my attention away from what I am doing (eg concentrating on walking) can be stressful no matter what it is."

    Thanks Hikoi for posting this statement - it made me realize why I've been more irritable than usual lately and that should help me to address the problem.

  • Sounds like G is having freezing episodes with, his problems in doorways.

  • "Why?" is a question that is usually a protest rather than an attempt to get an answer. Others have offered answers. Just let go of the anger a little so you are more likely to hear the answer and act on it.

  • To me, life got better after i learned to take my glasses of while i am walking. With my glasses on it was like tunnel vision, especially in tight or crowed places. Also in crowed places i would freeze up from with my glasses on. The glasses really distracted me, So i got use to not wearing them unless i needed them to read. Walking with glasses made me look down at my feet as i didn't want to trip,,, after i took the glasses off, i would look at the path before me, not the ground or my feet. Thus i learned to move some what freer. The main thing i learned is that other people are trying to help,, but at times we are not speaking the same language or something. My biggest fear was when i was left with no care giver,, I didn't think i could make it at first,, but for the last 9 month i have been completely on my on,, and am still alive,, fewer falls,, yea, i still get confused,, but i think most everyone does at times, Parkinson's or not,,, The relationship between a person and their caregiver has to be based on trust, for me. I don't know if i will ever find another caregiver,, At this stage of the game i feel i would be selfish to ask someone to dedicate their life to my survival,,, It's a big job,, one that i feel i would have trouble accepting for someone,, but for some reason i still have a positive outlook on life and i will let God work on the details,,, cause i can't figger it out either :).

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