Just wanted to come on and say hi and introduce myself. My mom, who is 62, was recently diagnosed with stage 3c high grade serous ovarian cancer. I’m her primary caregiver, my dad died from throat cancer 10 years ago. Just wanted to know what to expect with this cancer, and how I can emotionally support her? I know everyone is different but I’ve been googling and I know the statistics aren’t in her favor. Is this something that might take her very quickly at this stage? Can anyone give me hope or advice? This is so devastating she’s my everything. You are all so strong and Im sorry this disease is so awaful and unfair.
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Lucib
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Hi Lucib and welcome. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom, A cancer diagnosis can be very frightening and you and your Mom are likely going to go through a whole host of emotions these next few years (yes, I said years...). The community of women on this site are a great resource and I'm glad you found us (though sorry you had to).
I too have stage 3C ovarian cancer and was diagnosed 15 months ago. Since then, I've gone through surgery and 18 weeks of chemotherapy - but am currently in remission. I am happy to share my experience with you and your Mom if it will offer any help (and I know others will reply shortly). You can read prior posts or you can visit my blog (not supposed to promote but...(mycancerconfessions.com)...if you read the older posts first you can follow along with what happens and how one might feel about going through it all.
Without knowing the specifics of your Mom's situation it is hard to say what will happen - she is likely to have surgery (total hysterectomy) and chemotherapy (carboplatin and taxol are typical first line treatments). For some these are manageable phases without too much difficulty...for others, the treatments can present other challenges. You likely won't know how Mom will respond until it happens -- but know that the caregivers (doctors, oncologists, nurses, etc) are kind and compassionate and knowledgeable and will do what is necessary to get your Mom into remission. Attend appointments with her, listen carefully so you can help her understand afterwards and be sure you are assertive if you feel anything is left unanswered or unsaid (to the doctors/care staff, etc.) These days, ovarian cancer is often managed as a chronic disease and many of us live for many years after diagnosis.
Your Mom will no doubt have a wide variety of emotion (as will you) and there will be plenty of support for the both of you here. Remember to practice "self-care" (as they say on an airplane, put your oxegyn mask on first...) so that you are strong and patient and able to provide support when she needs you and to listen with both your head and your heart when your Mom needs to talk (or vent, or complain, or share her feelings...).
She is already in a better position than some as she has you to help her through this and to love her through this. The two of you may have many more years to come and a cure is not out of the question - there are some ladies here diagnosed with 3C (and even 4) five, seven or ten years ago...
Hi. Once again Amalyffe has replied to your post in the way that very few can. Perfect and precise . However my suggestion would be not to depend on Uncle Google for your answers. This is the best pro active site to get your answers . Bests to your Mom
Hi Lucib I was diagnosed almost a year ago with 3C and like you I read Dr Google (we can’t help it) and terrified myself!
One lady on here advised me to treat this disease as a chronic illness and there will be occasional bumps in the road such as more chemo etc. That has helped me
Lots of ladies are surviving years after diagnosis and new drugs are coming along all the time, I’m possibly starting a new trial next week! Cancer is a frightening diagnosis but don’t look at it as a death sentence for your mums and your sake x Being positive will help you both get through the treatment processes. Nobody is guaranteed a future beyond the present moment whether you have cancer or not so make every day count and I try and find something to smile about every day if I can 😁
I had the same diagnosis as your mom, two years ago. I had surgery, then chemo. I went into remission, only to recur at the beginning of last year. I had more chemo, and am now on Niraparib and doing well and enjoying life. As others have said, I was advised to treat this as a chronic condition as recurrence is so common. When I was diagnosed, I too used Google, though my surgeon advised against looking up sites from the US as they were too frightening - I didn't listen, and she was right! That said, survival rates have improved even since my diagnosis and new drugs are being developed all the time, and many of us get offered clinical trials to push developments forward.
Welcome to the site and I am so sorry your Mom has had this diagnosis. Earlier answers have given you great information. Please try not to worry too much, you will both get through this. I expect they will get her on chemotherapy quite soon. If you and your Mom can attend a getting started course some hospitals provide that would be helpful. You need to listen and take notes at her appointments. If you can, help her eat really well before and during the chemotherapy and keep up her fluids. The surgery will most likely be after several sessions of chemo and then more chemo afterwards. I was diagnosed in 2015 and doing fine even though Ovarian Cancer has a tendency to recurr. Treatments are improving the whole time and there are new drugs coming through. It would be a good idea to find out if your Mom is BRCA positive as this can affect treatments further down the line, ask her oncologist once things are in motion.
You will find a wealth of helpful information on this site and there is a a great helpline too.
We all agree that googling is really unhelpful as the statistics are often out of date and everyone is different.
I am full of admiration for you supporting and caring for your Mom in this way, she is lucky to have you. Please look after yourself too and when you can try and do things that you both enjoy, it is important to have things to look forward too.
Hi lucib I can only echo what the other lovely ladies have already said on here. I also have stage 3c hgs oc and was diagnosed in September 2016. Your mum is very lucky to have you as support and I found that my daughter and I became even closer during my treatment. She came with me to chemo and had the nurses and I in stitches reading the stories from take a break in silly voices. She always got me a nice dark chocolate bounty (my favourite ) on chemo days and helped me to feel normal. It must be hard when you've already lost your dad to cancer but honestly your mum's diagnosis is not the death sentence it once was. Treatments are so much better and you and your mum have lots of fun times ahead. I always said that I could have cancer but it certainly wasn't having me. Keep strong
Hi Lucib, As usual the ladies have given you some good advice and you have found a site where you can come at any time for advice and encouragement.
I'm 73 when I was diagnosed I was told I would not see the year out 4 years latter and I'm still here It' not always been easy but I'm sure she will manage having you to encourage her with treatment will be enormous help.
We are all different in how we react to treatments one thing we all learn do not google as I said I'm 4 years on and we have ladies who are10 and more, It's not going to be easy for her but we all find the strength to fight on and I'm sure she will once a plain is in place, for her treatment you will feel better.Take care Lorraine xx
I have little more to offer so much great advice above - but to say I too was diagnosed with 3c serous ovarian in 2015. I am about to turn 60 but my support has been my wonderful husband. I have a daughter but she is just too thrown by this... Your mum is so lucky to have a wonderful caring daughter and you are doing so much for her just by being by her side! You are amazing and your mum must be too. Perhaps she could also join this site to ask for advice support etc?
Just wanted to say well done to you and send love and support to you both ❤️
So sorry to hear about your Mum and your Dad. When my mum (aged 73) was diagnosed with HG stage 4 OC in Dec 15, I was totally devastated too & didn’t show it but my anxiety was thro the roof. I felt just terrible for my poor mum.
I too googled & for hrs! Big mistake! Not only was it directly the cause of my many sleepless nights, but lots of info is just unhelpful. Most is so out of date & too general as OC is not one disease. This site is great as it’s about real people’s experiences happening right now.
It is an awful disease, but my Mum had great surgery, chemo, Avastin & had a nice clear scan at the end. It was tough of course with a few problems but she coped pretty well with it all. She has been in remission for just over 2 years now & is well, happy & enjoying life!
The worry doesn’t go for Mum (or me) but we appreciate life & good times much more now.
Take care - you must definitely look after yourself too. Good luck with your mums treatment. Deborah x
Thank you for all of your replies. She has started her chemo (Carbo/taxol) and will hopefully have surgery in July. I’m trying to stay positive, but I know it’s going to be a tough road ahead. Stay strong all. Xx
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