teenage daughter

[Mandmiff]

Hi! I don’t know where to start but I’m here because I’m desperate and quite sad. I’m finding my 14 year old daughter so tricky, she makes life so difficult. Any tips very much appreciated x

[Vikki-Moderator Moderator]

Hi Mandmiff. Oh my goodness, parenting teenagers can be hard, can't it? And honestly if I remember back, being a teenager was tricky too. That weird time where they don't think of themselves as children but aren't yet adults either. I know that I was a horrible teenage girl to my poor mum.

You don't say exactly what you're finding difficult but, there is some really good online learning you can do for free via the Just One Norfolk website - justonenorfolk.nhs.uk/onlin... It's called Understanding your teenager's brain. The teenage brain is really complicated - there's a lot of changes and development happening - more than at any other time other than babyhood.

It's really hard when our children are moving through different phases isn't it? I'm really sorry to hear it's getting you down at the moment. Do you have anyone supporting you? You can always come here as a safe, anonymous place to vent.

[Mandmiff in reply to Vikki-Moderator]

Thank you for replying! I think what I find hardest is the actual physical feelings I get, like a horrible gripey empty tummy feeling all the time as I’m walking on egg shells around her. She won’t do anything active, she’s a big girl but won’t come for walks etc will just come out shopping when she feels like it. She’s rude and has to have her own way. She’s so unkind to her younger brother and just generally disrespectful. At school she’s an angel so can control all these behaviours. I work in children’s mental health 😂so I know ‘what I should be doing’ and I do but honestly I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this in my life. I know it’s not just me but my god it’s so hard to navigate this daughter of mine 😂

[Vikki-Moderator Moderator in reply to Mandmiff]

It's very different when it's your own child/ren isn't it! How about some mindfulness for you to try and cope with the anxious feelings of treading on eggshells?

[MrsHello Community Ambassador in reply to Mandmiff]

I can really relate to what you are saying. Parenting teenagers is a whole new level of hard! 🫣 xx

[MrsHello Community Ambassador]

Hi, I can really understand, and I think a lot of us parents of teenagers find the same. Parenting teenagers is oh so hard! I find I’m constantly calming myself down and taking deep breaths. The information on the website that Vicki moderator has suggested looks really good. I think I might also have a look through at anything that might help too. I sometimes feel I get it wrong when I try and get the balance right between letting them make their own way as they grow up and keeping just normal day to day boundaries going around even general stuff like bed time and meals. It can feel like everything becomes a battle and sometimes like you say it can become quite emotional. I have found me trying to take a breath and trying to calm has helped. Have you found anything has worked for you?

[Mandmiff in reply to MrsHello]

Thankyou 🥰