sleeping problems

[Busytwinmum]

one of my twin boys age 9 has recently got into bad sleep habits ! He shares a room with his twin brother.

we have a chill out hour , do everything you can think of to prepare for sleep , go to bedroom around 8:30 , special lights etc, read stories but when it’s time for me or partner to leave he starts crying and being anxious,

Things like -

I don’t want to grow up

I don’t want you to die

I don’t want to go into year 6

He has a lovely life and nothing to worry about,

He is fine during the day , confidant and happy.

is this normal for a growing boy or do I need to see the doc ?

help it’s exhausting !!

[MrsHello Community Ambassador]

Hi there,

I can remember really well with my own children at similar ages suddenly going through phases of worry - but worries that are really quite difficult to just say ‘oh it will be fine’ or ‘don’t worry’.

You sound really like you are doing lots of great things about making bedtime calm. I think for my own children a lot of it was them suddenly having quiet to think of big thoughts, worries which aren’t there in the day.

We tried things like using a worry box, trying to make space in the day to begin to talk about the problem worry, when everything didn’t feel so scary to them. We also used listening to calming music to go to sleep or audio books, things to try and help them be less in their worry. I’ve found some resources on the website that might help you below.

Saying that it can really help having a discrete chat with your child’s class teacher about their worries - especially the transition to yr 6 ones. Over the years I have found school really helpful at providing a few helpful ideas (although I know schools vary). Sometimes it’s just good to just talk it out a little with someone who knows your child to help understand what’s going on. Here is the info link below. I found resources like this really helpful. Big good luck 🤞🏻 I hope some of these ideas are helpful. Let us know how you get on😊. justonenorfolk.nhs.uk/emoti...

[Vikki-Moderator Moderator]

Just wanted to say I had this too with my sons at different times. It must be common I'd imagine. MrsHello has some great suggestions. Especially talking to the teacher. Sometimes what we see as the smallest little throwaway comments that we make as adults, can become so big in the head of a child. My son would get anxious that he wouldn't be able to sleep and then of course, the anxiety would stop him sleeping 🤦 I ended up sitting with him till he went to sleep and once that cycle was broken we went about gently changing that till he was going to sleep on his own again. You don't mention if your other son is being disturbed but I imagine you might worry about that being the case too. Let us know what you try and how it goes.