We got the news yesterday after a ct scan that my beautiful, brave handsome, corageous husband hasn't got long left.
The cancer has spread to his liver, lungs, adrenal gland and peritoneum. At worst he's got a few weeks at best a month, maybe 2. They don't know for sure.
He never even got chance to try palliative chemo/herceptin.
Thank you to everyone who has helped with advice and guidance since his diagnosis in August 17.
I fucking hate this god awful bastard of a disease. It ruins far too many people's lives!!
L x
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Lucypuppy
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My heart goes out to you both and words fail me. Your Husband is obviously a very courageous man and he could have nobody better by his side fighting for him.
Dear Lucy my heart goes to you. Please make the most of your time together as you will remember this forever. Get out of the house and book a nice place away. It does not need to be far it just needs to be different and nice. Forget about logistics and anger as this is the time you will never get back. This is the time you need to take your husband where he needs to go with your love and kindness.
My beautiful husband Mark was hit with the same diagnostic. He thought they got the tests wrong as he felt nothing. We originally went to the doctors because he felt tired. He started the chemo with the herceptin and he booked all the holidays for 2018.
10 days, 1st cycle he kept telling me to go to work as he is feeling fine. He left the house for a little walk and 1 pint of milk and had a cardiac arrest around the corner. The ambulance was called by someone that saw all this through a video camera on the wall. The ambulance revived him got him to hospital alive and the hospital could not longer save his life. He died in 8 hours.
Mark was diagnosed in 17 October 2017, 1 day after his 52nd birthday and passed away on 8 December 2017.
I’m sending you strength and wysdom and most of all power to make your days together as beautiful and painless as they can be. Your husband will probably be scared without showing trying to be strong for everyone else. You have to be the branch the he leans on and also the one that takes his thoughts away.
Walk this road together strong gracefully and your love for each other will bring light.
Dear Lucypuppy, I can imagine how shocked and devastated you both are, yes, cancer is a hellish disease, affecting not only the patient but also his loved ones who have to watch the effect of the disease, their loved one changing before their very eyes.
If it's any consolation we are in exactly the same situation, I posted already the terrible news we received just 3 weeks ago, that my darling husband's cancer had returned and was quite aggressive. I brought him home from hospital 4 days after being told the news, to the lovely house he built for his family 50 years ago, the house in which he'll pass away, his wish.
This is a second marriage for both of us, we've had 5 very, very happy years together and are still very much in love, as I'm sure you are Lucy, so it's a crushing blow when the realisation is there that this man that you love so much and would do anything for is going to be taken from you. But that's the reality and somehow you have to find the courage, both of you to accept it. His family are being rather antagonistic which is an added strain "We can't stand that woman, the sooner she's away from here the better".
My husband wanted to come home, and I had been led to believe by the palliative care doctor in the Royal that a care package would be in place for him, but that was not the case, and we came home to find that no help had been arranged. Several frantic phone calls later the District nurses arranged a 'Fasttrack' 7 days of Marie Curie care, and this was extended over Easter weekend by a good friend of mine . When MC ended I coped with my cousin who had come from North Uist to help me until a phone call came telling me that a Care Package would start . It's an 'End of Life' care package, the carers are wonderful, and they give me a lot of support also. As to his medication which keeps him comfortable, this is organised through the District nurses, his GP and the local Hospice, but they all listen to what I think is best for my husband and we agree on it.
I have a good support network, good friends who would do anything for us, the Church, my family don't live near but will come as and when needed. Take all the help you can get. The family had a meeting with the Minister this week to discuss his funeral, he requested it. I've learned a lot from some of the MacMillan booklets, it's helping me to prepare for the inevitable.
My husband and I are very close during this time, last night and this morning I even managed to lie beside him in bed for a while, it was so comforting for both of us. I'm in tears a lot of the time, I can't imagine my life without him, but I try to pull myself together and bear it.
So sorry to hear this Lucy as we both started this journey with our husbands at the same time . My love and prayers 🙏 are with you both at this sad time . Xx
Thinking of you both. Have been there too. My husband was 56 and his oesophageal cancer was metastatic and in his bones on diagnosis in March 2013. There was no surgery as a result and he was unsuitable for Herceptin. He managed some palliative chemo well but it slowed things down for just a few extra months.
I know just how you must be feeling and it is quite understandable to feel angry. It is so hard to be strong. I was able to access the hospice to talk to a counsellor as friends cannot understand what you are going through but it is helpful to talk.
Takes care and enjoy as much time together as you can. X
I cannot say how sorry I am to hear your news. You have both been so brave. I wish you all the best in the coming weeks and hope you can continue with your loving support, as you have managed magnificently up to now. xx
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Sharing my good news
early days post op
