Negativity isn't helpful

[Sheila_G]

I would like to say a big thank you to all the people on this site who have been truly supportive to me. I have always tried my best to support everyone no matter what their problems. I have also enjoyed all the jokes, the pictures and the friendliness of most people. Sadly, I won't be posting again. Although I appreciate and accept that we are not all the same in many and varied ways, the negativity of some people has forced my hand. I have not promoted my own problems, which are many, including being very down at times. I have been shielding since the first week in march and I need hope for a future when I can hug my children and granddaughter again. My hopes are raised then dashed when I read some of the posts. I can't read them any more. I truly wish you all a very happy and safe Christmas and a healthy, brighter 2021.

[allanah]

Sorry to hear this . Yes there are positives and negatives to any site and the pandemic has shown that . It has been a while since your last post and it's a shame you find some other peoples posts and replies hard to read.

But that's why it feels like a family here, we all talk, bicker , laugh , agree and disagree but if it's not helping you then do look at other sites. Arthritis care have a good one.

But the pandemic has brought round lots of issues for people and they express that in lots of different ways.

But we are here for you and if you ever want to private message me that's fine.

[Sheila_G in reply to allanah]

Thank you so much for this xx

[Neonkittie17 in reply to allanah]

💗XX

[cpr02]

I think Now is actually the most hopeful point we have had of the whole year 🤣🤣 we now have a vaccine (I have had the first dose of it) I think what some people are now realising though is it's not a quick fix it will take time resources vaccines and training to vaccinate enough people for the restriction to be lifted or life to be changed

I dip in and out of here but if you feel it's too negative you have choices over what to read to skip posts etc

There is hope but everyone has good days where they can see that and bad days where they maybe cant if you feel its negatively effecting you maybe it's best to not read it

Hope you have a great Christmas x

[Sheila_G in reply to cpr02]

Thank you for your reply xx

[Pippy25]

I'm so sorry to read this Sheila and hope you will reconsider. I hope that whatever you decide is best for you to do, you will keep safe and well. Take care and sending some warm wishes xx

[Sheila_G in reply to Pippy25]

Thank you very much xx

[Boxerlady]

Sorry that you feel like this Sheila but obviously you must do what's best for you 💐 I'm very positive about the future and probably just ignore the negative posts I read here but I had a similar experience with another forum I used to post on; I've kept up my membership though and still read it occasionally as the things I learn on there are valuable, I just don't want to interact with some of the members.

Wishing you all the best for the future 🍀

[Sheila_G in reply to Boxerlady]

Thank you so much xx

[springcross]

That's a shame Sheila, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe in a little while you might change your mind and if you do, we will be here. Good luck to you and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Take care. xx

[Marionfromhappydays]

Sheila you've got to do whats best for you; It can sometimes be quite hard reading some posts, I find the same on Instagram, I've made myself worry when I really shouldn't have. I try not to search it now for arthritis things.

Its good to get things out your system, this forum hopefully will still be here if you ever want to dip in again. Its extremely hard times at the moment, got to go with whats best for you x

Take care and hugs x

[Sheila_G in reply to Marionfromhappydays]

Thank you for this. xx

[Lolabridge]

That's a shame Sheila but we all have to do what we feel is best for us and I understand your decision. However, for some, sharing concerns and problems, what you might call negativity, helps sufferers to deal with their situation, especially if they don't have any one else they feel they can share with.

We all need hope and, thank goodness, we have vaccines coming to help us defeat this wretched virus which has changed our lives in ways we could not have imagined.

Christmas is a time for hope, Peace and joy so I wish you all of those in some measure over the festive period. x

[allanah in reply to Lolabridge]

Nicely said and what I meant too !

[Lolabridge in reply to allanah]

You did say it and expressed it well. X

[Sheila_G in reply to Lolabridge]

Thank you xx

[Sheila_G in reply to Lolabridge]

Thank you xx

[happytulip in reply to Lolabridge]

I agree. Everyones experience of RD is different and often one AI disease can mean the development of others.

I think this site provides a safe place for people to vent and express their feelings. It is only on sites like this that you can find empathy and true understanding amongst people who are fellow sufferers. It's the only place for some people.

I agree with you that expressing "the negativity" can help and in my experience bottling up negative emotions can lead to a flare. But as you say everyone must do what is right for them.

[Sheila_G in reply to happytulip]

Thank you for your reply. xx

[Lolabridge in reply to happytulip]

So true. This forum is very important to me as I live alone and my family, although they try, don’t fully understand how much RA and its unwelcome friends have changed my life.

[snoopy29]

sorry to hear this Sheila, take care of yourself and have a great christmas and new year

[Sheila_G in reply to snoopy29]

Thank you so much xx

[sylvi]

I am so sorry your leaving us and i wish you would reconsider as your a valuable member of our site.xxxx

[Sheila_G in reply to sylvi]

Thank you Sylvi. Much appreciated xx

[sylvi in reply to Sheila_G]

As has been said instead of leaving just take time away to give you some much needed breathing space darling and don't delete your account.xxxx

[Sheila_G in reply to sylvi]

Thank you Sylvi. I will definitely not be deleting my account. Like Arni I might be back when I am in a better place. xx

[sylvi in reply to Sheila_G]

Thats what i want to hear my darling, message me anytime you llike my lovely.xxx

[Hidden]

I am so sorry to hear this Sheila 😔 Please take the time you need for your well-being. I do hope you come back one day, but I understand if you can't. You will be missed.

[Sheila_G in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your lovely reply xx

[Hidden in reply to Sheila_G]

Of course. And thank you for all your insights ❤️

[nomoreheels]

I'm so sorry you feel you need to leave us Sheila. It's a shame when a few can dominate & make someone feel as you do, especially so being one of our longer term members as you'll have seen the community through all sorts of changes. How about a leave of absence? Pop on now & again & if it's still no longer for you then you know you've made the right call. I go into hiding at times, I don't wish to interact when I’m struggling for fear of feeling even worse. It is the one thing I can control, so completely understand but if you feel you need support or anything really you know we’re here. Pm me if you'd like to, I’ll be happy to be there for you if you feel I could help in any way. I can't sign off better than you did & so I wish exactly the same for you, & your family especially for time with your granddaughter, I’m sure that day can't come soon enough for you. Take good care. x

[Sheila_G in reply to nomoreheels]

Thank you so much. That is lovely xx

[Pippy25 in reply to nomoreheels]

Well said NMH x

[rounder]

Sorry to hear that things have been challenging Sheila, of course you must do what is best for you. I really believe that with the vaccine there is a light on the horizon, like you I long to hug my son again, it's so long since we've been together and like you I have been shielding. It's the simple things like being able to browse fresh veg and fruit in a shop rather than accept whatever arrived in the online shop that I am growing to miss more and more!Take really good care of yourself, and know that when you need to unload or have someone listen we will be here , there are many good folk here doing their best to support and uphold each other. I hope you can find a community to offer you the support you need just now.

[Sheila_G in reply to rounder]

Thank you so much for your lovely reply. Take care. xx

[Pippy25 in reply to rounder]

A lovely post rounder xx

[rounder in reply to Pippy25]

Thank you Pippy. I think for my own well being I have to look for positives, and we all need some support sometimes.

[Pippy25 in reply to rounder]

That is so true rounder as you never know how much a kind word or deed can make such a difference to someones day. Even in dark times there is always a little light...sometimes we struggle to see it but it is there. xx

[Sops]

Thank you Sheila for your support to me. You will be much missed.

Sopsx

[Gilliancheche]

I need positivity too, things are especially tough at the moment. I also need information /support . My method is to skim daily topics and only read when I think it will help me. All the best x

[Durrell in reply to Gilliancheche]

Well said Gillian, I’ve only found this forum the past few months & it’s been so helpful to me but exactly like you I read & skim over anything I feel is a little absurd or lack luster.

[kittypebbles]

Hi Sheila - I am relatively new on here and don't post much myself but enjoy reading others experiences of RA. I am in a similar position in that I've been sheilding since March (have many other illnesses as well as RA) and was ill prior to then, so hardly been out this year at all. I do respect your decision - we must all do what is best for us at the time and maybe in the future you will re-consider. I look forward to spring next year when, hopefully many of us will have received the Covid vaccine and be able to cautiously get out and about again. I know that there is some concern about the efficacy of the vaccine in the immunosuppressed but when a large percentage of the community is vaccinated the infection/transmission rate will reduce. I hope you have the best Christmas possible under the current circumstances and can look forward to a better New Year devoid of Covid! Take care. xx

[Pippy25 in reply to kittypebbles]

Hear hear kittypebbles x

[Wobbies]

I am really sorry to hear that. I don't post here much but have found a lot of useful information on here that I have very much valued. It is such a shame that some people can't help sharing negativity when what we all need now is mutual support and comfort. Must admit that as soon as I read a negative post, I pass it over and ignore it. Come back in the New Year if you feel able to when we are all looking forward to a better time. xx