NRAS
22,462 members26,196 posts

I know this is really not for this forum ..but

This forum has been the most life saving thing for me. I have AS and am coping and it's not too bad at the moment. Has anyone felt emotionally bullied by a 'line manager'? This person in the past has harassed me emotionally and sexually but clever. Puts me down then writes plaudits to build me up. I'm sick of it and don't know what to do. I'm drinking too much to block it out and don't want to do the HR thing in fear of being a trouble causer.

Thank you

Stephen

8 Replies
oldestnewest

Do you have an HR dept at a head office u could turn to good lluck. Oh try and get a book on building a team which tells you all about peoles make up i found that was good for me as you can gind out how to habdle them xx

1 like
Reply

If I were you I would start taking diary notes of events that happen and things that were said. I suffered the same thing 7 years ago. I had a good job within the nhs in London which was fine until a new boss took over. I kept getting stress related illnesses and was taking lots of time off. I had to see the occupational health nurse who suggested I took the diary notes and go and see the Manager above my Manager. I did but nothing was done about my complaints. My Manager also constantly used foul abusive language and was very derogatory and very racist. My abuse got worse, he once touched my bottom at a meeting and I told him never to touch me again. He was married and I was not interested. The abuse kept on happening, I was very offended by his language and his racial comments. My brother is gay and I have black family members so he found it funny to taunt me with horrible comments. He started calling me mental irish bitch. I was born in UK but have Irish parents. I still continued to take notes, I would scribble things on bits of paper and post it notes secretly then write them into a notebook with dates, times, who was there to hear and witness etc. It all came to a head when he came in angry and abusive as usual on 23 December 2010. I had come into work at 5am to carry out a task he wanted done early for Xmas. When he arrived at 8.30am he wanted me to do something else. I told him I would do it as soon as I had grabbed a coffee and a loo break. He went mental and told me I would do what he said or else. I answered back that I would as soon as I had coffee and been to the loo, he demanded I accompanying him in an adjoining office since he was aware all my colleagues were listening. Reluctantly I went and he continued to shout abuse at me which could be heard outside the office door, I told him he was delaying matters further and asked to go and get my coffee etc. He continued to abuse me further so I grabbed the door. He pushed it shut on my finger, breaking it. I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the office crying, I walked out of the building but I was followed by one colleague who persuaded me to go to HR and complain and went with me. He was already in their giving his version of events. I went off work sick and a hearing was had in September 2011 (yes September 2011 and this event happened in December 2010). I got the union involved and it was discovered that they had taken all the statements from my colleagues who had lied about what happened and blamed me because they were frightened of losing their jobs. The woman that followed me out and persuaded me to go to HR had retired in February 2011 and the union discovered her statement was not used in the hearing. Several more meetings were had but in the end I was dismissed due to ill health as I refused to return to work with him. This destroyed my nhs career and as far as I know the idiot still works there. I could have gone further but you try taking the nhs to court. The union were a great help as were ACAS with support and advice. If I were you I would be very, very careful. Things could backfire on you like they did me. Maybe try and look for another job. Good luck. x

3 likes
Reply

So sorry to hear about the way you were treated. Disgusting but not isolated,although yours has to be the worst case I have heard. I hope things are OK for you now,

Beverley (NRAS Helpline)

1 like
Reply

Thank you Beverley-NRAS I did have a bad time but I have a better job now (although not so well paid and I'm currently on long term sick with health problems). I have much better employers and colleagues and my life has improved for the better. There is always someone worse off in this world. Have a wonderful day. xx

3 likes
Reply

Hi Stephen,

sorry to hear about your problems. Not an isolated case I'm afraid. We hear about this kind of behaviour all the time on the helpline. You are protected at work under the 2010 equality act but it is difficult to stand up to these bullies. Please do ring the helpline to see if there is anything we can suggest to help:

0800 298 7650 Monday - Thursday 9.30am - 4.30pm

Regards

Beverley (NRAS Helpline)

1 like
Reply

Thank you so much. I'm not very good at talking and never phoned the helpline. I'll try and pluck up the courage as I need to do something. Stephen

2 likes
Reply

You can always email us:

helpline@nras.org.uk but it is easier to talk on the phone as we can respond immediately and ask for more info if we need it. It makes us very angry to hear how people with long term conditions are treated at work.

1 like
Reply

Hia,

So sorry you have all this to deal with. I have AS too so know where you're coming from in that regard.

Re other stuff. If it were me I'd shop them and leave, you owe it to yourself, respect wise and to others who come in after you close that door! PS don't just close it...slam it shut!

All the best

D

Reply

You may also like...