I'm at Day 3 !

I'm here ! I wish I could write a wonderful positive post but....

Just been watching my husband through the window standing in the garden having a quiet cigarette.

Wishing I could join him.......

I've had a permanent headache from Day 1. Though I think it's more stress than withdrawal.

I gave up the first time 10 years ago.

When I arrived in the UK last year I started smoking again but only 1 a day in the evening with my husband. When I registered with the Doctor he said even if it is just one a day, break the habit!

So I then moved on to around 5 a day. And I know that figure would increase.

Doesn't make any difference how much it costs.

Doesn't make any difference that each pack warns me I will die if I smoke them.

Doesn't make any difference that I have to hide and feel like a criminal.

That I have to brush my teeth every time someone comes to visit and Spray deodorant everywhere.

That I feel guilty and that I dread the terrible illnesses I could be giving myself.

I'm really fighting the urge this morning.

14 Replies

  • It sounds like you're in a bad place this morning Becky. I know exactly how you're feeling and I wish there was something I could say that could really help. I think feeling like this is just one of the inevitable consequences of a quit for most people; everything depends on how you come through it. Maybe all those things seem to not matter at the minute but you know deep down that they do or you wouldn't be trying to stop.

    Stay in touch with the forum, talking about it definitely helps. Sorry if I'm not much use, I've got a rotten hangover this morning.

  • Thanks for the reply . Even with your hangover! Hope both our days improve.

    I know I just have to get through this. It can only get better.

    It really does help having other people to chat to who understand my miseries.

  • I'm glad it does. I hope somebody with a sharper brain can give you some more help and advice today. Good luck!

  • I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better Becky.

    At the moment you're at that dreadful first stage: You don't really want to be a smoker anymore but right now subconsciously you can't imagine how you're going to cope without it. Like all of us who've smoked you've conned yourself into believing that life somehow won't be worth living for us if we give up (I know that's putting it a bit strong but I think that's probably how I looked at my many half hearted previous attempts at quitting).

    There's no getting past the fact that we do miss it for a while - we sometimes crave for it - when we have that morning coffee, after a meal, with a glass of wine etc etc.

    Just accept that the way you are feeling now is normal but that it will pass and get easier. You will accept that your will to quit is stronger than your urge to smoke.

    It is sometimes a 'no pain, no gain' thing for most of us to start with but the end result is worth it.

    I promise you that the insecurity you're feeling now won't last and you will find that you can enjoy life just the same without sharing it with cigarettes.

  • Linda thank you so much. I feel EXACTLY that way. Life doesn't seem worth it without a cigarette. That sound awful. Thank goodness someone understands!

    I'm hanging on to all your advice.

  • You've just got to keep going Becky. Don't be like I used to be and get fed up and give in thinking that just 'one' won't hurt. I've done that so many times and the only person I was cheating was myself because one turned into 2 and then more. I gained nothing because I still knew that I didn't want to be a smoker really. If you think about it we smokers gain nothing from smoking except perhaps a cough and an unnecessary hole in our bank balance.

    We've taught ourselves to like it and rely on it to keep us going but we weren't born to smoke and it's something nobody needs. It takes a while for the penny to drop and it's sometimes hard to do but we can quit and find out that life is just as enjoyable and fulfilling without cigarettes. As I say it does take a while but it is achievable.

    Nobody really NEEDS to smoke, not even us so keep going. x

  • Hey Becky, you are at the very rough stage of your quit but I promise you it will get easier over the next few days, it is tough on you and your quit that someone so close emotionally to your quit is a smoker, if you can, try to avoid seeing him smoking and make sure all smoking related stuff is out of sight for you.

    If the cravings get so bad, I know this sounds silly but it did help me in those first few days, I used a bic pen as a pretend cigarette, put the lid at the top of the pen, it has a little hole at top of the lid which is very effective when inhaling, take about 10 deep breaths and it will pass.

    Also, keep telling yourself this is normal and that these withdrawals won't kill you, once you get over these next few days you will be so proud of yourself. I would suggest reading up as much as you can on the withdrawals to expect. Stay strong, you are doing so well

  • Haha I really had a laugh about the Bic pen thing. But hey, if it works, why not ?

    You're so right. The symptoms of withdrawal won't kill me, it's what I'm withdrawing from that would've killed me.

  • Becky the Bic pen works very well.

    If you think really, the nicotine is out of your system now...you'll have to deal with the habit.

    What is smoking? It's a set of 10 hand to mouth movements accompanied by a deep breath between each movement.

    Not more...not less! That's what it is.

    Now, next time you get shaky, try a set of 10 deep breaths slowly and post the result....I promise you it works, that's what I've been doing all along and I'm still here getting ready to go to week 8 and very proud of it.

    Xxx you can do this! Only you can do it.

  • Becky, Similar to the pen, I use a 0% nicotine eCig and it helps me. We can't make someone else quit, but maybe your husband can limit his smoking to outside the house. Good luck.

  • Thanks CocoaXchange, I'm going to try and get hold of that 0%nicotine ECig. Last time I tried an eCigs I think I overdosed on nicotine because I literally puffed on it non-stop for hours. Well it never goes out does it? :)

    Linda, I've been thinking all day "just one won't hurt" ....... But I haven't given in yet.

    Thanks for all the support everyone, I can't tell you how much it's helping me x

  • Becky, I've been using V2 EX e-cigs. They sell 0% nicotine pre-filled cartridges if you're interested. It's all done online, they're simple to use, have a window on the cartridge and an indicator on the battery so you can tell when you're going to run out of charge or liquid. They certainly help me out. Here's the link if you want to have a look.


  • Thanks Nozmo I'm going to have a look at that right now

  • It can be a bit confusing as they sell all sorts of variations. All you really need is a battery, charger and pack of cartridges.

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