This Quit Needs To Be Final

Tomorrow simply needs to be my first day as a non-smoker and this quit must be the one that works. I am slowly killing myself physically and mentally day after day.

I have had previous quits but always make excuses and relapse. Usually it is weight gain or taking my moods out on my family but sometimes I have quit without much fuss. I think it comes down to attitude and positive thinking but for some reason I have a real fear this time. I have read plenty of the site and realise fear is part of the process and can be overcome as the hours and days pass.

I really feel as if smoking has taken its toll on me in recent years. I am 37 years old and feel as if my lungs are struggling to cope with my ever increasing consumption. I don't feel fit or healthy yet I have always been an active person in sport and ran a marathon only 18 months ago. My running times are horrendous now compared with what I was once able to achieve and my overall fitness has taken a major dip. I see myself quitting and throwing myself back into my running in a bid to give myself something positive to focus on and hopefully my performance will improve to the point where I see real benefits and increased health and well being. That is my plan as I type this. It will take effort and commitment but I want a better life and realise this is worth working for.

I have become someone who gives up. Someone who talks about what they want without putting in the slightest effort. I don't remember when I became like this but I need to revert back to the old version of myself. I believe smoking has led me down this road. I think smoking has made me lethargic and lazy but I know that quitting while increasing my fitness will see me full of energy for life.

I have a lovely wife and three young kids and I have been trying to quit ever since my first kid was born who is now six. I have had several quits but during this time my consumption has increased from about ten a day to most recently just under 20 a day. Bizarre that. My family deserve better. I hide my smoking from my kids always going outside, rushing in to wash my hands and brush my teeth. I would hate for them to ever see or know that their dad is a smoker. Time is against me as the get older so I must act now.

I will post throughout the day tomorrow. I need to break the first day into segments and tackle each one with positivity until it is time for bed - simple as that. I have always been someone who once having conquered that first day can go on a quit whether that be three weeks on ten weeks. I just need to get on the wagon and stay on.

Tomso.

10 Replies

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  • Hi Tomso

    Welcome to the forum, so glad to have you aboard. You seem to have a very positive attitude this time to what you you want to achieve 😺and that is great news. taking it hour by hour day by day is the only real way to get this thing banned from our bodies. Lots of people here doing the same thing so there is lots of support for you, honestly Tomso keep posting on this site it really does help to get through the difficult times, lots of reading, deep breathing to help the craving pass and plenty of water. 😺 you CAN DO THIS

  • Tomso...........welcome. smoking is insidious in playing with our self-value. If you are going for this, visit regularly; it really does help. This addiction is strong but there are people on here who can testify that it is possible to stop. Breathe as if you're smoking, without smoking. This helps some a lot in the early days, including me. Also repeating the NOPE mantra. Wishing you well on this journey. You can do it.

  • Hi Tomso and welcome

    I can relate to the hiding smoking from kids thing. I'm on month 4 since quit now and had almost forgot what smoking then rushing in to wash hands and brush teeth was like!!! Thanks for reminding me of another reason that where I am now is the place to be. You will get loads of support here. You've done it before, you know you can do it and I honestly think if you feel the way you do and you post here daily this time you'll move past this.

  • Very eloquently put, tomso. I felt like you - that laziness had crept in and wasn't really me...I beat it though - I'm nearly four months quit now, and if I can do it so can you!

    You sound so well prepared. Don't forget to celebrate each little milestone - smokefree morning, first meal without a 'finishing' smoke, first time going to bed without stinking of fags, etc etc.

    I also recommend this smokefree app... which has little daily missions among other things to keep you on track. smokefreediary.com/

    Go for it - I wish you all the best x

  • Thanks Incy by the way I downloaded it and it has loads of info on it

  • No problem jilli :)

  • Tomso, just do it. Quit and don't go back. Reading your story reminded me of promising to quit when my first child was born, that was 26 years ago and here I am only a month into my quit. You need to see this through now, belive me when I say it only gets harder. I hid smoking from my family forever, even last month I was still hiding it. C'mon, this is no way to live. I tried so many things, washing my hands, eating strong candies, oranges and pickles were 2 of my favorite's. They covered the smell best, lol. So pathetic. Please follow through with your quit now, start running again when it feels right and keep us posted how you feel and are doing with it. Best of luck.

  • Excellent post Canwes. good response to Tomso.

  • I have had a good day today without smoking. A great first day in fact. I got up at 5.30 and went out for a run. I did this on purpose because I always feel happier after a run and usually go on to have a good day if I run before work. I came in from work and got my clothes off and my jammies on. This signals that I am not intending on going outside again for the rest of the day. I am about to have a nice bowl of ice cream and watch some T.V. with the wife. Then off to bed early where I will pat myself on the back for a job well done today.

    As soon as I got in the car after work I got straight on the hands free phone and spoke to a friend for forty minutes until I walked in the front door. I usually chain it on my way home from work so I knew I should have a distraction and it worked a treat.

    I got my first crave after lunch and just went with it until the feeling passed. It didn't last long and looking back it wasn't that bad. Still, that is the type of crave that would have got me in the past.

    Thank for all the posts and support. I will reply back in due course.

  • I promised to quit when I snogged my wife to be for the first time 1995, when we got married 2000, 1st kid 2001, 2nd kid 2003 and here we are. Crazy addiction, I'm 7 months into it now and cant believe its conned me all this time.

    Best of luck, and do believe, it does get better, take a day at a time and believe in NOPE

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