Still here :)

Daily update: still here after the most "horrendous"week of my life! Still not feeling well but much better.

I don't get stressed here, actually felt I was with friends during the week, I I cannot thank you enough for that, all of you. One person in particular sent me a message (which I did not reply yet) that made me think twice, I need to keep going.

So for now...I am still here, it's a daily fight for me to even wake up nevermind get up and get going.

Still not smoking...and I will never say never again, I am going back to the very first days & hours of my quit, it's a daily batle, I am not smoking today and not tomorrow either...after that...I'll see how it goes - I do not have any cravings by the way, my batle is actually to remain calm & avoid stress.

I did have a slip (7 fags on monday/tuesday) as you saw on my previous post, but it is not fair to go back to day 1 where people are struggling with the physical dependency. I don't have any of that, this is not nicotine anymore, its a behaviour problem, which I need to address now at this stage of my quit.

My main problem is when I start listening to my "junkie brain" talking & that's what happened this week.

Somehow I have talked myself into having a cigarrete because One won't kill ya.

I am sure there will be some that won't agree with my decision, but I have decided that having a slip is not going to make me a smoker again, I shall get up & keep going, and hopefully never be there again...I am very proud of myself, this is in fact the first time that I had a slip/relapse at this time of the quit and managed to stop imediatly after.

Any other time, I would have gone back to smoking twice as much as before and it would take me years before I attempt quitting again.

Happy saturday to every one!!!

11 Replies

  • You've been very very naughty and I want you to write out 100 times I must not have 7 fags in the middle of my quit. But I am prepared to let you stay in month 2. On a more serious note keep at it you know you can do it no matter what life throws at you :cool:

  • Yes Brian...reminds me of Bart simpson LOL

  • sorry i misssed your post when you had a terrible time, i was in bed with migraine for 24 hrs. glad to see you are back on track :)

    I'm not sure about going back to day 1 either, but it is difficult to know where people are in their quit without some kind of measurement. As your quit is unique to you, the way you measure it is how you feel appropriate. For me, i couldn't enter the penthouse even if i'd had a puff, NOPE :(

  • migraines urrrhhh! I get them too! Hope u r better xx

  • I agree Caroline, completly! ...In an ideal world I would love to be able to say NOPE as off now, this is the best I can do...and I am not going to beat myself up because I am not doing 100% well.

    In a years time, I don't mind if I smoked 7 cigarettes on week 7, if I am smoke free by then.

    For now I have to think that normally I would have smoked well over 500 fags on the last 7 weeks and I didn't, I smoked 7.

    Normally, once I had 1 fag, I would consider myself defeated and just keep smoking, and I didn't, I am still here and still going.

    I refuse to give in...I am not a smoker.

    I have decided to be a non smoker in January, I am just going through the process, my decision is still the same and I am not going to change it.

    But I can move to the general room if it is more appropriate.

  • yes, as long as you aren't smoking nothing else matters. with me, if i had one puff it would be game over, we are different :)

    yesterday someone posted the psychological approach they had, i know it would not work for me, but it hit a note with others.

    our quits are uniquely ours, hopefully along the way we can help each other and give support, with the knowledge there is no right or wrong way. what matters are our long term goal to be free from smoking and nicotine.

  • I think you should put those 7 cigs behind you and carry on. I don't know what the forum rules on this are but you've had the strength to carry on with your quit and hopefully have learned something from it, that smoking doesn't cure stress. Good luck xx

  • mmaya - I think you already have gotten up and got going. From what you posted this week, you have made some big positive steps during an incredibly vulnerable week for you. Respect to that, and keep your resolve.

  • I did & I shall continue on...I sent over 20 CV's out and went down to the book shop and got some new books about stress management, I'm trying really hard to get back on my thank you!

  • If it was me, mmaya, I think if I reset my counter I'd probably be more inclined to stop trying. So as long as you're happy that this blip hasn't actually led you to being a smoker again, then I'm with Spanish.

    One of my little three year olds at nursery once gave the BEST advice ever to another kid, who was crying and sulking but wouldn't tell us why: I explained I couldn't really help if I didn't know what was wrong - this other little darling overheard, and said - "Well then, you'll just 'ave to forget about it and move on!" I think it can apply to most situations :D

    Also, glad to see you back mmaya x

  • Thank you darling!

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