Max I'm here, I'll huff and i'll puff (oh no i won't)

So this time last year I decided to stop smoking. It wasn't the first time and although I started off with determined optimism, I remembered countless other quits that had ended in failure and if I'm honest they were already haunting me. Why was this time going to be different, why not just give up quitting and accept the fact that you will die a smoker, were some of my thoughts. Why put yourself through this again to fail 6 or 7 weeks down the line was another thought.

I didn't even tell my poor long suffering non smoking bloke. We've been together 27 years so he'd got bored of hearing I was quitting after about 7 attempts and now greeted news of my latest foray into the non smoking world with gritted teeth. He was the one who tolerated the mood swings and all the other stuff that goes with the first few weeks, then has to pick up the pieces when i returned to the weed. Oh and don't forget the times i lied to him and said I wasn't smoking when I most definitely was!

I'd always tried to do the preparation, I read Allen Carr easy way and loved every word of it BUT it just didn't seem to turn the switch in my head. This time, 5 weeks in, I tried to get the help of a stop smoking NHS counsellor, a big step for me as I'm the sort of person who does things herself with minimum fuss and i don't do asking for help very well. I won't bore you with the details but I was given the wrong time for a fictitious clinic session. It nearly drove me back to smoking!

I then discovered this website and lurked around for a bit reading other experiences and somewhere I discovered NOPE and the January Freedom Fighters (cheers Debbie and Donna and Lindy Loo and Steve). I also read The Nicotine Trick which although almost the opposite of Easy Way was the missing pieces for me. It dawned on me that the only thing a cigarette does is make you want the next one. If you don't smoke the first one you NEVER want the second one. I counted how much money I was saving, made lists of things I'd bought with my smoking money, all of this helped and I got through the tricky 6 week barrier. This was one of my many Nemesises, here are a few more.......

The I'll just have one....... I can control it this time. Yeah right!

I'll just smoke when I drink.... I can control it this time. Yeah right!

I'm sooooo angry I have to smoke

I'm sooooo upset I have to smoke

I'm sooooo happy I have to smoke

You can have one now you're no longer addicted after 2 months

I'm drunk give me a smoke.

TG helped me round the 'curiosity one' what would it be like now that I've not been smoking awhile.

This one crept up on me and luckily i read a post by TG which mirrored thoughts that I hadn't even realised I'd been having but as soon as i read them i recognised them and was able to stomp all over them.

That for me was the secret, think about smoking, read about smoking but stomp down on any thoughts of actually smoking. Read posts from people struggling or people who failed (thank you you brave people) that's where you see the slavery and true horror of the addiction. Read the joyous posts that tell you it does get better. The biggest thing though is NEVER see smoking through rose tinted glasses ever again. Remember the stink, the cost and the fear.

So here I am out the other side, one year smoke free. It is amazing to be here. I never thought I could do it and not to have to smoke is incredible. I very rarely think about smoking now and NEVER with fond memories, it was an evil addiction that tried to kill me and I'm so glad I will never have to do it again.

Happy New Year/Blwyddwyn Newydd Dda


16 Replies

  • Sue :D:D:D:D

    What a lovely post! I can't tell you how much I've been looking forward to cheering the Penthouse Three home. It was the first thing I thought about this morning and despite my (considerable :o) hangover I couldn't go back to sleep for the excitement!

    HUGE congratulations from me along with a big and wholehearted welcome to the Penthouse. You've deserved every second of the luxory that awaits you. I'll bet your OH is SO proud of what you have achieved (as, indeed, you should be). Well done dear Sue, and here's to 2015 and the future. You're a star and an inspiration. :):):)

  • Lovely post Sue - much of which I can totally relate to, so I take hope from your success...huge congratulations from me,enjoy the Penthouse

  • Fantastic Sue well done and thank you so much for that post 😊

  • Great post and many congratulations on reaching the Penthouse.

  • Congratulations on reaching the penthouse - enjoy!

  • Ah the lovely Sue! What a fantastic post! You quietly held on with no fuss and look where you are now? So so proud of you lovely 1 year quit is amazing, I never doubted you of all people would get there, lots of love xxx

  • Well done Sue, welcome to the penthouse, its getting really full in here lately :) xxx

  • I had to pop back to wish you a HUGE congratulations :)

    Brilliant brilliant brilliant!!!!

  • Thanks everybody, for the kind words and Max you are so right. I can't believe it's me and not somebody down the road. Then other days I can't believe I used to smoke it feels so long ago since I used to do it.

    Here's to another smoke free year, and whilst I'll probably lurk more now and post less (after cheering all the JAN FF home), i will definitely still be reading.

    Shields' up.

  • Brilliant brilliant, so very pleased for you a whole year WOW. WOW. WOW.

  • Thank you for your post. It really helps me to read success stories while I'm struggling in the early stages. I find it gives my mind something tangible to fix on. I will be there on November 24 th 2015.

  • Huge congratulations Sue! What a fantastic achievement! See you 'soon' :D

  • Lindy Loo hooray, i will 'see' you tomorrow, you're the next one through the doors. I'll be the one shoving Max out of the way to give you a hug as he tries to open the door to the penthouse.

  • Brilliant post Sued, some real insights which point to long-term success - you've got this NAILED!!

  • A wonderful success story! Massive well done! Xxxx

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