Observation

Today, as I left the supermarket, I glimpsed out of the corner of my eye, a guy desperately inhaling a cigarette.....a quick glance to the exit and there stood his wife, waiting patiently with her trolley, until he had appeased his demon.

With each drag he took, his shoulders slumped forward and he coughed and he coughed as only a smoker can. His body shook and his face contorted into a grimace and aged before my eyes each time he took the smoke into his lungs. His wife buried her head in her hands, rubbed her eyes helplessly and yet, hurriedly, hungrily, he repeated the ritual, hacking and choking, guilt ridden and miserable until the last gasp.....addiction before my very eyes....a lonely figure, and a sobering experience. There was no pleasure - just dishevelled pain.

Be very clear, all who think they are in control, nicotine is an invasive, invidious enemy - never put yourself into his shoes. While there is breath in your body to fight it, do so - one day success will come.

M

6 Replies

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  • Good to see you Mina- I do hope you are keeping well. It's always lovely to know you are around. :)

    A sobering post though, albeit an important one. I so identify with what you and Max have said- the times I kept OH/close friends waiting whilst I inhaled another quick one before catching the train/entering the airport/theatre/cinema/restaurant/gallery....I feel truly embarrassed about it now. It's like Max says- smoking was always the priority (and oh dear, that sense of panic when you weren't certain when you'd get the next opportunity to smoke :o).

    Thank goodness I need never be out there again...

  • How lovely to see you back hun :)

    Your post is indeed very sobering, we all did it though didn't we :/ madness really... How are you doing? Xx

  • Can so relate to your post Mina. On a day out with non smoker OH he would wait patiently whilst I 'just have a quick fag' before leaving the house, as soon as we arrived wherever, after meals etc etc.

    OH once or twice got annoyed, an example is OH is in a band and there have been times when he desperately wanted a drink and I was in the smoking area or when they had added new songs and he asked what I thought and my reply was 'sorry, missed it, I was outside'. I was defensive about my smoking and accused him of being unreasonable/selfish expecting me to be there all the time when I was the selfish one.

  • A real shocker for me was to see that he was getting no pleasure from the ritual, rather it was causing him significant discomfort....and yet still he persisted until the cigarette was just a nub end :confused:

    I was mesmerised by realising how addiction appears to a disinterested onlooker, thankfully he did not spot this and report me as a Wierdo stalker! :D

    M

  • Great to 'see ' you Mina.

    I can remember craving a cigarette when I was actually smoking one, even the actual act of smoking was not relieving the psychological crave. I too smoked that cigarette down to the nub, hating it, yet desperate for the craving to stop. It didn't work so I just lit another one.

    It really emphasises to me that ONE is never enough and will never be enough so I'm just never going to smoke that first one ever again.

  • Interesting - I would rather be the observer there and the observed.

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