day 20 for me today!
im feeling okish. cravings are not really there anymore its more of a annoying longing/pining for something I cant quite put my finger on!
do I miss smoking??
no i don't miss the actual cigarette or the act of smoking or the smell etc etc. i kinda miss that something to do when theres nothing else to do...the 'oh ill just nip out for a fag now that's done'.
I rewarded everything i did with smoking. i feel quite silly about that. how much time i spent smoking! dishes done...smoke. dinner prepared...smoke. advert on the telly....smoke. if there was a reason to do it i was doing it or rather if i could i would! i more found reasons to justify my bad habit. smoking was my 'time out' i need to work on the fact that to get a time out i don't need to smoke...it is possible to just sit in the fresh air and grab a moment or in the living room with the telly on. i don't need to fill up every spare couple minutes by sucking on a plant
its hard not to think about it! its been a hard week in that respect. cravings are fine, the mind games are easily batted away but the 'whats missing, something isn't right' is there. and very strong.
as much as the above is annoying me i have no desire to smoke. its not an option now. just have to keep going! hope everyone is well!