Pleeeease help me

[nsd_user663_2681]

Omg I am soooooo angry and irritable today and I don't know why, well I do know why but I can't have this!! I have barely spoke in work today for fear of telling someone to **** right off! It's like pmt x100 even though it's definitely not pmt.... I have locked myself in my bedroom and can't bring myself to speak to anyone this is absolutely horrible I don't remember it being this bad not going to smoke but dear me so so close, will have to stay locked in my room I think

[nsd_user663_2681]

Haha thanks Deb although bless George but I think he prefers boys to girls so I have been told! Anyway I am now in the bath where I can't get into any trouble one of my friends has offered to "bring me up something" she means a fag.... I know in her own way she's trying to help but it really isn't... I've told her I'm going to write today off and go to bed after bath, might do a bit of pillow punching first though xxx

[nsd_user663_2681]

Why are you so angry?

Not sure tea, no particular reason I think it's craving.... I am quite an anxious person so instead of being able to bat a crave off it escalates into a massive ordeal and goes on for hours..... first proper crave of the quit and it's hit me for 6, only solution is write today off have my bath and go to bed I don't want to be vile to my family I hate this addiction I really do

[nsd_user663_2681]

Does he, well I would never of guessed lol. Tell your friend unless it buzzes you aint interested. Bed is good xxxxxxxxxx

I've spent most of my time in bed the last few days I feel useless, still I guess if that's what I need to do then I have to just go with it xxx

[nsd_user663_2681]

Nice glass of wine in your dressing gown watch anything you like on the tv that might help a bit plan a very slow and quiet weekend if you can lots of you time

I was miserable at your stage :) I know that doesn't help much other than saying what is happening is normal for some of us it doesn't last forever

Thanks Jen. Just have to keep my eyes on the prize, wine in my dressing gown sounds good x

Donna I feel for you

If it is the 3 week thing then only a couple more days to go.

If you really believe it is the patches then maybe you stepped down too quickly. There is no race to get of the patches and a lot of success is from the people who kept them on for as long as the programme said. You don't have to run into the arms of cold turkey

You may just be pissed of you have quit smoking. Even though you know it's what you want your sub conscious might not have caught up yet.

You're doing so well donna x x x

Tbh Karri I think I'm pissed off that I've quit, it's just such a ball ache it's not pleasurable at all lol, I definitely want to stick at it and I will, the only reason I dropped patches is I ran out of the 21mg patches and I haven't got money to buy anymore there's 14mgs here so used them, yes I know it's ridiculous that I haven't got £14 to buy a pack of patches but there it is.... I'm skint til Tuesday xxx

Having a good relax is always a good plan. I don't think having a smoke would reduce your anger or anxiety, it would probably make you feel a heck of a lot worse. I would bet my chocolate buttons that something set you off earlier and it's built up and combined with a crave, but the crave has only come because of that trigger.....

Thinking about it Tea I was fed up in work because a member of staff from another site came over to help me when I didn't need help and I feel like they are babysitting me and it got my goat lol, I think your analogy is right xx

[nsd_user663_2681]

Idiots from the office 👿. This is why I make juju dolls. If only we could patent a pill or patch that could solve that problem, we'd be billionaires! [It can provide temporary relief if you slide drawing pins into the seat of their chair and watch the confusion when they sit on them and get pricked in the ass, but only go for 3 pins and don't get caught].

But having to pay for your patches is harsh. Were you not offered the free NRT? :eek:

I have used the service a couple of times and always failed so I wouldn't have the neck to go again, as long as I got the forum and some form of NRT I will muddle through x

[nsd_user663_2681]

My daughter just knocked on bedroom door and said "mum if you feel this bad is it really worth it, you can't lock yourself away it's ridiculous if you feel that bad go and buy some cigarettes"

She's 17 and never smoked I guess she doesn't realise that without pain there is no gain bless her... Comes to something though when your own kids are fed up with you and are telling you to buy fags :eek:

[nsd_user663_2681]

I've trained my daughter to make hot beverages in these kinds of situations. I would be opening the bedroom door to find every cup in the house lined up on the landing.

That's what I need I think, sweet tea on tap, sadly my darling girl has gone out for the evening with her boyfriend, and I don't blame her lol xx

[nsd_user663_2681]

You quit about the same time as me tea, you might be lucky and not get a bad day I think mine is because i reduced my patches too quick, are you using NRT?xx

[nsd_user663_2681]

No I'm not using NRT, but I know that the behavioural habit is more difficult for me than the physical - I used my habit to avoid confrontation, walk away from situations and have time to myself at work. If I have a bad day it'll be because someone has upset me and I haven't dealt with it well, I will know that smoking won't solve the problem but that knowledge won't make it easier at the time.

Your quite right, when you are in the frame of mind of having a smoke all rational thoughts about the smell, cost etc go out of the window, it's the dreaded romanticising isn't it.... :/

[nsd_user663_42220]

I wrote this about two and a half years ago to another forum member but I think it applies to your situation perfectly Donna...

"I believe there are defining moments in everyone's quits, the times which can make a quit solid or end up breaking a quit.

I believe that this is a defining moment for you. The moment where you will either make or break your quit.

You've had the day from hell, all day. At this point you've not smoked. It's unlikely to ever get worse than you are feeling right now, trust me, I had two of those days in my quit at the start.

If you can beat this mother of all craves I believe you will make this a solid, forever quit. It's the nicodemon's last big attempt to break you.

Are you going to get beaten by a plant or are you going to define your quit?

I believe you are made of strong stuff, so my money is on you, not the plant.

Tomorrow this crave will have gone, you'll feel a massive sense of achievement in having beaten it and you'll know that if it ever happens again you can beat it again.

Stand strong Donna, I'm rooting for you."

[nsd_user663_2681]

Amazing post... Thanks Gary.... As bad as i feel and trust me I REALLY do... I feel anxious, sick, like I'm not in the room totally off my head, tearful, like a 2 year old about to have a tantrum in the supermarket....I will not let this beat me, it's beaten me too many times in the past, the anxiety and stress has gotten the better of me and I've given in, not this time....not this time.... Xxx

[nsd_user663_42220]

Almost without exception, every successful quitter has had days like you are having now Donna.

The difference between success and failure at this point is believing that one day it all goes away and that the pain you are feeling now will be worth it in the long run.

Drink lots and lots of water and go back to following the patch programme religiously. Don't be in a rush to leave the patches behind, use them as directed.

If you can't afford the larger patches at the moment, use two of the smaller ones you have, the dose is almost equivalent.

You can do this, you know you can

[nsd_user663_2681]

Thanks everyone, I am finally starting to feel calmer I'm going to have an early night and hope tomorrow is a better day, thanks again there is such kindness in this place, it's wonderful xxxx

[nsd_user663_2681]

Just a quick one though, if I cut a 14mg in half and add it to my 14mg that's 21mg which is what I need, is it ok to cut patches in half? If not shall I just persevere with the 14mg I have been on them a few days so surely my body will adjust to the lower dose soon? Thanks xx

[nsd_user663_2681]

Personally I think you should stick to your 14mg if you've been on they for a few days. I don't think that an extra 7mg of nicotine will make you happy - it's just not how drugs work.

That being said, yes you can use a half patch, but you might need some micropore tape to help it adhere securely.

I use the surgical tape anyway because patches don't stick on me by well I think I willbe y and persevere with the 14mg for a few more days your right, if I still feel this low in a few days I will add in the 7mg, thanks Tea xx

[nsd_user663_60964]

Donna, re the patches, is it worth considering having a stock of the low (1.5) strength lozenges to hand? I found them really useful on those occasions when I needed an instant boost. They just took the edge off.

As Debbie & Tea (and others) have said, sometimes you just have one of those pants days regardless of the quitting thing. The quit just adds to the mix but if you can fight your way through it you'll be that much stronger when a similar situation arises again (which it will because that's life for you).

I really hope that today proves to be a lovely day for you. You certainly deserve it to be.

[nsd_user663_62360]

Donna sending you a massive hug!

I really for you! I can so relate to this. Its absolutely horrid!

This was me last week! I was an absolute sight! I was just awful to be around and like you I locked myself away because I couldn't face snapping at anyone else! One massive big crave that lasted a whole darn weekend! BUT

I kept going! Because I needed to break away from this day! Every quit I got this and I gave in. It broke me! But I didn't let it this time! The next day came and I still hadn't shaken it off... I had no idea it would last more than a day as I'd never allowed it too. But I got through that too! Because I got through the day before an that was an achievement! And so can you, it's hard but you can you want it enough! And your determined enough. Remind yourself why your here!

Take time out. Eat crap. Lie in bed and sulk. Do whatever it takes. Go for a walk, Just don't smoke. Just keep going! There's no other feeling like the feeling you'll get when you come out of this shi**er of a crave! And then the other days that come after you can gladly smile and say it's ok because I've been through this once an I will again!

I sat in my room watching Netflix eating Doritos for two days until I felt I could look at another human being without being annoyed by the sheer nerve of them addressing me back lol! You do what you need to get through this! We are all here when you need us! Because we have all been where you are now!

Chin up lovely keep going! Xxx

[nsd_user663_62294]

Hi Donna

How are feeling after the weekend? (I didn't log in or I would have posted sooner). I do hope you feel better now. I too had rages for pretty much no reason, followed by tears. I did that same as you and had a bath then went to bed. It will get better honestly. x