its just 6am, not that im up early i didnt really sleep...
but then to be honest, even without the beer I'm managing a couple of hours a night so thats better.
today i start a new job/assignment, and im a little nervous ? anxious ?
no not about my work really, just that a slew of old triggers, habits all that revolved around smoking earlier, drive to work, first coffee at work, a break before lunch, a smoke after lunch, coffee cigarette break, one more, drive home...any stressful or long day ? more coffee n cigarette breaks...
its been at the back of my mind since a few days after i started posting on this forum, your kind words and words of encouragement.....made me wonder, which trigger will it be ?, what craving ? what will i succumb to ? will it be a 'just one' episode ? or something else...
that feelin is nowhere in the back of my mind this morning, its all over, its the only thing on my mind !!!
let's see how this day goes...
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Be strong, especially now 20 days in Just day by day as it comes distracting any triggers that may appear, it just like programming yourself to not smoke when the moments come along, see people standing outside in all weathers pushing themselves to an early death for what? NOTHING!
Having a smoke today or any day after going so long will not solve much, it will however make you more anxious without you knowing it and it will certainly make feel terrible and regretful.
It just not worth it, hope today goes well, you'll be ok.
I do hope today does not present to many triggers for you, I do distinctly remember the first time I drove home from work not thinking about smoking ,quite amazing,
Am sure all will be ok. Just hold tight to your quit, the stronger you are,the weaker mr nico becomes.
Ah Pseudo....there's nothing worse than the feeling of despair that creeps over you after a pants night (in your case, series of nights) when there's a challenging day looming ahead...no wonder you're feeling down about everything this morning (including your quit). You CAN come through this, and you will. Just think of it as a particularly brambly, overgrown thicket that has grown up across the path and which you will need to machete your way through to continue on your journey. When you get out the other side you'll find the path will be much smoother again.
Good luck today with your new assignment and do post later to let us know how you are feeling. Heaps better I hope.
Nearly three weeks in, in an average quit this is when the physical craves stop doing the talking and the psychological battle begins. It should get easier now though. I went through the sleepless nights, they stopped after about 4 weeks so just hang in there. Good luck with your new assignment x
That shows real determination and committment, Pseud. If you have the resources and weapons to deal with those curved balls that life can suddenly throw at you, you definitely have what it takes to go all the way.
Those difficult moments will become less & less frequent as time passes (and less & less intense) but I remember well how difficult it can be early on and all power to you for not succumbing.
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Just day by day as it comes distracting any triggers that may appear, it just like programming yourself to not smoke when the moments come along, see people standing outside in all weathers pushing themselves to an early death for what? NOTHING! 
20 days on Champix, 13 days smoke free. All is not well...
