30 odd years of smoking and 3 weeks in to probably my hundreth quit and I think the penny's finally dropped, well something's just clicked into place for me and I know that for sure.
I still find it quite hard to come on here and post, probably because my posts always seem so uninteresting compared with everyone else's that are always so full of positivity and humour. I've always been a bit of a miserable quitter, hence the reason for my many failures I guess!
I do do a lot of reading on here though and your posts are so inspirational to me. In particular two stick in my mind: One was from someone who said we should think of quitting as a sort of recovery process - and I'm sorry I can't remember who said it. The other I read today and it was from Kit Kat explaining perfectly about the 'just one' syndrome that I've been a prisoner to all these years. He described the whole process perfectly to me and I could identify so well with every word he said. The 'buzz or hit' feeling we experience hit a nerve though and made me realize what an addicted prisoner I'd made of myself over the years. Suddenly I asked myself what is this buzz, what have I actually been poisoning myself with all these years and why the hell have I been doing it at all!
I know that I've got a lot to prove and a long way to go but I will do it this time. I've finally admitted that I've allowed myself to become addicted to smoking and I don't feel good about myself at all.
But all of these realizations have strengthened my resolve even more and I think I've had some sort of awakening at long last.
I hate to sound so serious all the time but there again smoking has always been such a serious issue with me, or the fact that I've never been strong enough to stop doing it.
Thank God for this thought provoking forum and the people on it who've helped me open my eyes at long last.
This will be my quit, I know that for sure now.