The struggling thread

Hello all,

I've noticed a few people on this here forum are stuggling lately and having just read a post from DonnaJ about having a stand alone thread for stugglers to vent I thought i'd make one. If you are struggling (which lets be honest we ALL do at some point) then please please just post here and rant and let off steam rather than light up. This thread does not have to be upbeat and can be full of the streams of consiousness from your id but I figure anything is preferable to starting smoking again.

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  • Hello all,

    I've noticed a few people on this here forum are stuggling lately and having just read a post from DonnaJ about having a stand alone thread for stugglers to vent I thought i'd make one. If you are struggling (which lets be honest we ALL do at some point) then please please just post here and rant and let off steam rather than light up. This thread does not have to be upbeat and can be full of the streams of consiousness from your id but I figure anything is preferable to starting smoking again.

    This is a great idea. :) No one should feel guilty for having a good rant or needing to offload!

  • Brilliant! It was suggested a few days ago but nothing was up on the forum so thanks for doing this :) this is perfect rather than clog up the main forum with our woes and struggles every one can come here and wallow together :) x

  • Great thread,

    I am struggling with the thought of being back to day 1 after all my hard work. I feel tearful and depressed.

  • Great thread,

    I am struggling with the thought of being back to day 1 after all my hard work. I feel tearful and depressed.

    Mel it can take lots of attempts to get this right, use the experience and learn from it, when are u going back to day 1 or haven't you decided yet?

    I'm sorry you feel tearful and depressed, I feel the same and I'm nearly at 10 weeks now... I had no craves or problems up until 6 weeks but for the last few weeks I have found it a real struggle to keep battling on with it..... It's draining.....in my case I think it may be because I dropped my patches 2 weeks ago to a lower strength, I'm hoping to feel brighter soon I feel like Nic has his hands round my neck but I have his balls in my hands and it's all about who can squeeze the tightest lol, hope we both feel better soon, if I really feel like it's game over I will post on this thread xxxx

  • Oh Melby....a big virtual hug heading your way from (not so sunny today) Berkshire...:)

    I think the way to look at it if you can is that your hard work has not been in vain. It's a truism, but I do really believe that we learn something from every failed quit, and that every failed quit makes it more likely that the next quit will be the final quit. You've lost what- just under three weeks? All it means is a small delay in reaching the Penthouse. Over a year, it'a nothing and once you've been quit for a couple of years you probably won't even remember whether you quit in February or March. And what you've lost in time is more than offset in what you've gained in experience. :)

    Donna, so sorry you're going through the mill too. I think you're right in attributing it to the lower strength patches. I'm sure your body will adapt again soon and everything will settle down. In the meantime, just hold on in there and post whenever you need to. :)

  • Thanks skiddaw, right now it is horrible... No energy just want to sleep all day and thinking constantly of having a cig, but from previous experience I know it changes weekly, I suppose I am in withdrawal stage again I have lost 7mg of nicotine a day, I'm not sure if it physical or mental withdrawal....hopefully next week I will be a week further on and happy and not at day 1 again :/ xxx

  • Too right you will! You are not going back to Day One, not if we have anything to do with it. :)

    I suspect the reduction in patch strength does have as much a psychological effect as a physical one. Probably if you didn't know you were on lower strength patches you wouldn't really notice the difference. However, do you have any emergency NRT as back-up in case it gets too difficult to cope with? I certainly found the 1.5mg lozenges really helpful in those circumstances. Anything other than risk losing your quit.

  • I feel like Nic has his hands round my neck but I have his balls in my hands and it's all about who can squeeze the tightest lol

    Heheh excellent way of putting it Donna!! :)

  • TG I am on 14mg now, I feel wretched... Too be honest I've kept it bottled up for a fortnight when I should of posted, I just felt I couldn't I really hope this goes soon xxx

  • Mel where are u hun? Come and talk to us rant it all out chick xxxx

  • Donna never feel like that, just because your further a head than other people doesn't mean your have to be stronger it hard for us all.

    I'm one of the worst for moaning if I couldn't do that I go mad and start smoking again. We all know it's not going to get better just like that, and 14mg that's stage 2 is that right?

    Yep stage 2 xx

  • Chin up Donna, I am certain that you will start to feel better again soon, there is no alternative! I do know that it is a massive effort to stay positive sometimes though but tomorrow is a new day and you may well feel differently x

  • Hi Donna,

    I am here and am definately struggling.

    Having a few cravings since the nicotine receptors have been fed again with my stupidity.

    Also thinking I should be posting in week 4 makes me want to howl with frustration.

  • Hey Melby, I say, take how you are feeling at this time and USE it. Get angry and then USE it to mentally shout at the cravings when they strike, if we could all direct the anger and annoyance we feel at the root cause of those frustrations (which is our addiction) then i'm sure it would help, and yes I'm well aware it really is a lot more difficult to do than it is to say, still, doesn't hurt to try eh?

  • Thanks for the support everyone just got to battle on haven't we......

    Hi Donna,

    I am here and am definately struggling.

    Having a few cravings since the nicotine receptors have been fed again with my stupidity.

    Also thinking I should be posting in week 4 makes me want to howl with frustration.

    Awww Mel I can imagine u are frustrated lots of us have caved so many times.... It's so fecking hard! :/ I know it's difficult but you have to try and forget u would of been posting in the week 4 thread, I know for the purpose of the forum u technically go back to day 1 but in ur real life with friends and family you would tell them u had a blip wouldn't you? You wouldn't say I am at day 1 again... When Magwag referred to dieting I thought it was fantastic... If u dieted for 3 weeks and then had a day eating cakes u wouldn't necessarily put back on all the weight... I know it's not much consolation but you are not the first to have a cig when ur guards down and u definitely won't be the last, I hope u can get your confidence back of your earlier posts, u can do this hun this was just a slip up along the way, we are all human after all :) if u think u might cave again post on here and wait for 5 responses before u have the fag by that time it should of worn off again, u aren't on ur own love xxxx

  • Thanks everyone x

  • Thanks everyone x

    Are u feeling better today Melby? X

  • Quick post since I have excused myself on the pretext of checking food....

    OH b/day today - we have guests for dinner

    I am letting them smoke in the house - they had lit up without asking, and didn't notice the missing ashtrays til they had to ask for one - any way, besides the point since I wouldn't have said no cus it would spoil the mood...

    Wine is flowing - there's a trigger :(

    Cigarettes are being smoked : - there's a trigger :(

    I have said I miss smoking - there's a trigger :(

    Jokes are being made that I should just smoke and then drink enough to forget I smoked so it won't count ------------and I - being an absolute nob - almost believe it!

    The logic of "oh - just smoke on special occasions" sounds hugely reasonable and attractive.

    Prob be late before I even get back on here - but thought writing it might bring me to my senses :(

    M

  • Aww Mina, it's that romanticising again.... I know exactly what you mean, do you know some of my smoking friends have come out with the old chestnut " ah you could get hit by a bus tomorrow just have a cigarette if you want one" and to be honest, I have turned it on it's head, it made me more determined because even though they are my friends deep down they WANT me to fail to make themselves feel better... Plus they miss having another person to smoke with....I had the exact same situation with one of my best friends... She has literally no tact at all and stood outside my French doors puffing away all the while it's coming back in the house and I just thought are you for real?.. I know we can't expect others to give up just because we have but wouldnt it be nice if some people just had a bit of consideration??

    I think the wine makes people forget you don't smoke sometimes.... Just go back in enjoy the good wine and company and be satisfied in the knowledge that you are doing something so worthwhile for yourself and that deep down they envy you, they really do :) xxxxxxx

    P.s sorry for going on a bit of a tangent there but I do know EXACTLY. What you mean and it's infuriating!

  • Mina would you really want to smoke now? Not even a one off fag seem appealing any more, but your right that they should think of you as well my OH keep some tobacco in the house all through my quit :rolleyes::( xx

    Yes - I would really want to smoke now, and most days. How lucky you are to have reached the point where the appeal has gone.

    Sadly I am far from that place.

  • Day 6, i'm new! Cold turkey!

    Hello! I think i might be going mad

    , ever since i stopped the nicotene 6 days ago, i have had racing thoughts, cant concentrate for even a second, i feel impulsive, almost careless, all of a sudden, like a complete personality change, i cant sit still, its unbearable, the only reason i am able to stay with it is because my body was getting so ill from smoking that i cant go back to not being able to walk from shortness of breath, i am only 33! I have smoked a lot since i was 14.

    Anyway, i am wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this from cold turkey, i am beginning to wonder if i have ADHD because i remember feeling like this as a child before i started smoking, and i just looked it up and nicotine is recognised as having a medicinal effect on folks with ADHD.

    Would love to hear anyones thoughts on this and it would be great to make some friends on this forum, i could really do with some support, i will be a week tomorrow without a drop of nicotine! Thanks for the venting thread, just what i need right now, sending good vibes out to y'all:):

  • Hi Sedona,

    Firstly welcome and well done on your quit!! Total admiration for going cold turkey, brilliant! Do you think you are anxious? The racing thoughts could be to do with the anxiety of quitting, I would suggest seeing your doctor just for piece of mind, I definitely felt and still do on occasion agitated and panicky, perhaps you could post in the main section of the quitting forum that way you will meet people and make new friends, unfortunately I think this thread is in the wrong place, it keeps getting bumped down by utter drivel quite frankly :D

    Take care and keep us posted, PM me anytime if you want too xxx

  • Thread moved from General to How are you feeling.

  • Still romanticising. I feel it's important to be truthful on here, so yeah, a part of me does want to smoke. I don't think it's a need though.

    The trouble with me is that I enjoyed it - which I feel guilty for. The reason I quit was because I chose my health. But lately I've been feeling like my health (and life) isn't worth saving. I'm going through a rough patch being a full-time carer for my nan that has end-stage dementia and as much as I would never ever begrudge that - my life is somewhat limited at the moment. I can't even enjoy being an ex-smoker.

    Sometimes going out the front door for a cigarette would be perfect. It's definitely an angel vs. demon situation for me. I know if I had something to look forward to in life, or a reason to be in an optimum state of health, I'd feel differently. Right now, it's the time-frame of my quit that's keeping me going. If I was 1-2 months into a quit, I'd probably throw it away. 6 months is a huge feat.

    To new quitters: please don't let this dishearten you. I do unfortunately have a pretty addictive personality in general and have a big track record of throwing in the towel when things get tough. It's not always like this either, I do have a lot of good days/weeks! So keep going! :)

  • Sorry to hear that you're still struggling Lewis, though in view of everything you have going on, it isn't surprising. What a difficult time you are having.

    Do you have any support in your caring role? I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how to suck eggs, but if there is a Carers Centre or similar local to you, I hope you are in touch with them. I know that being a carer can be terribly lonely as well as stressful and you need all the support you can get both emotional and practical.

    Better times WILL come and if you give in now you'll hate yourself and feel even worse about everything. I really hope you can manage to hold on. You've come so far..

    A big virtual hug coming your way from me. You know you have us to turn to when you need someone to talk to. :)

  • Sorry to hear that you're still struggling Lewis, though in view of everything you have going on, it isn't surprising. What a difficult time you are having.

    Do you have any support in your caring role? I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how to suck eggs, but if there is a Carers Centre or similar local to you, I hope you are in touch with them. I know that being a carer can be terribly lonely as well as stressful and you need all the support you can get both emotional and practical.

    Better times WILL come and if you give in now you'll hate yourself and feel even worse about everything. I really hope you can manage to hold on. You've come so far..

    A big virtual hug coming your way from me. You know you have us to turn to when you need someone to talk to. :)

    Appreciate your post so much. We are in touch with social services which are going to see how they can help us. The worst part of it is losing the person even though their physical self is unchanged.

    I know, I hope so. If I were to start smoking again, I would be racked with guilt and disappointment on top of everything else, so I will try my very best to stay quit.

    You're right, sometimes without this forum, I think I'd have lost this quit by now. Thanks again! :)

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