Stopped, but is it wrong to ban forever

With the exception of a draw taken in haste, I have been off one month. Like most here I loved a ciggie, but for all the traditional reasons have stopped. One thing I have allowed is 2 a year Xmas day, an annual golf outing with the lads. Now in past failures I have taken one draw felt a failure and went back However this way is does not make them taboo , but two a year cant be wrong ? Can it

30 Replies

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  • That's up to you.

    Personally, I've lost too many quits to "just one" so am not going down that road again - no hasty draws, no Christmas fags, nothing.

    But it's your quit, so that's your choice.

  • One or two usually leads to three and four and......... Been there got the tea shirt.

    Its an addiction and it doesn't take a lot to reawaken the dependency to nicotine if you feed it. IMO its better to go into this with the attitude of N.O.P.E

    Not One Puff Ever.

  • Stopped for 13 years and had just one.....Fifteen years later managed to stop smoking again so no cigarette is going in my mouth lit or otherwise ever again

  • cigarettes never come alone

    boo

  • ^^^What they said^^^

    I gave up three years of freedom for a fag on holiday, ended up back under the thumb for another 15 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I had an 18 month quit, at the end of that bought a packet after a row just to stick my fingers up, smoked a couple and kept the rest of the packet for nights out and stuff.

    Then it was one when I felt like it, and before I knew it, was hooked again and gutted.

    Took me early 3 years to quit again.

    cigarettes never come alone

    boo

    They're like wolves, they come in packs!!

  • In my opinion the old "Ive cracked this now, I'll just have one in and out" Does not work and in my honest opinion if someone says they can smoke only a couple here and there they must be fibbing surely? I only say this because its a drug a very addictive drug I just dont know how people can do it, Im yet to meet someone who can... I cant.... just the one fag led me back to smoking 7 times before this quit, but only you know how you feel and how you can cope so good luck to you x

  • My Uncle and another friend of mine I have envied for years. They have been able to do what I always wanted to which is smoke when I wanted, not when I felt I needed to. They get to have all the awesome smokes (that I and I am sure most of us used to love) but none of the miserable it's raining ones, or first thing in the morning on the doorstep in dressing gown while kettle boils, they would just have the one with fresh coffee, in the sun, in the garden/town square.

    They never seemed to miss it, never seemed to have any of the not smoking problems either.

    That was me for about 3 years (13-16) which is partly why I think quitting was so tough for me. Could smoke up to half a packet one day by the end then not touch one for weeks even months and not miss it.

    Then I decided to start... and here we are.

    Trouble with that is that it really embedded the "smoking is nice" message into my head, which I've only recently banished - hopefully for good.

    Wrecked too many quits by trying to go back to that so know it's not an option - and it's only this time I haven't wanted to!!

  • NO NO NO thats all I can say.

  • My mum was one of those people who could really enjoy a very occasional cigarette (usually after a special meal) and never get the urge to smoke at any other time. Alas, I think the vast majority of us would be living in la-la land if we truly believed we could become 'social' smokers. Let's face it, it ain't gonna happen (any more than alcoholics can enjoy the odd glass of fizz at a wedding and not want to drink any more than that).

    Orignal poster, if you're still around and reading this, my advice is don't go there. :)

  • When you've quit you've no wish to smoke, consequently the question, "shall I have one or two this Christmas?" never pops up.

    Good luck to anyone limiting their consumption to one or two per year.

    I know it can be done, I've seen it done, I've done it but of course that was before I quit.

    Quitting but still wanting to smoke isn't really quitting...

  • They're like wolves, they come in packs!!

    and not just little wussy packs of wolves big big packs of them

    boo

  • and not just little wussy packs of wolves big big packs of them

    boo

    Thousands and thouands :eek:

  • This raises a question for all of us - if you were absolutely guaranteed to die in a month (for example, the earth is about to be wiped out by an asteroid strike), would you smoke? In other words, if there were no consequences to your actions whatsoever, would you smoke?

    This would be a stupid question to a non-smoker. Would they suddenly feel the need to start smoking? Er, NO!

    So what of these 'casual' smokers - those who smoke once or twice a year? I'd bet they would smoke their **** off because the bottom line is they are still smokers.

    If you're a successful quitter, why on earth would you envy these people who can (apparently) smoke 'casually'. There is a whole implied subtext that you are depriving yourself of something, which is a total nonsense.

    Just think of yourself if you were a 'casual' smoker looking forward to your annual 'fix' at Christmas, counting off the days on an advent calendar:

    - Regular drug user? - No!

    - Utterly pathetic? - Yes!

  • Just think of yourself if you were a 'casual' smoker looking forward to your annual 'fix' at Christmas, counting off the days on an advent calendar:

    - Regular drug user? - No!

    - Utterly pathetic? - Yes!

    When I was a social smoker, I literally smoked one day, and didn't smoke again for weeks - no problems, no counting.

    i'd go out with my friends, smoke then the next day not smoke. Same as how i drink now.

    Edit: I'm not suggesting that's a good idea, or that anyone should try it - we're addicts and we can't - but wanted to clarify a bit :)

  • When I was a social smoker, I literally smoked one day, and didn't smoke again for weeks - no problems, no counting.

    i'd go out with my friends, smoke then the next day not smoke. Same as how i drink now.

    Edit: I'm not suggesting that's a good idea, or that anyone should try it - we're addicts and we can't - but wanted to clarify a bit :)

    The issue being once you became addicted and then quit you can't just have one, the same as once you become an alcoholic then dry out, you can't just have "one" drink. ;)

  • The issue being once you became addicted and then quit you can't just have one, the same as once you become an alcoholic then dry out, you can't just have "one" drink. ;)

    Yeah I found that out to my cost when I lost my 18 month quit!!

  • I think it's possible to have just one, yes. Easier if you haven't smoked over ten a day for many years though, most 'social' smokers weren't regular or habitual smokers before. I know a couple of friends that do. But for ex-smokers it's a massive risk.

    I actually thought early in my quit that maybe when I'm in my 70's a cigar on holiday or Xmas or on the golf course might be nice - no forever ban for me, but that's changed now. I don't actually think that way any more and time is really important.

    As early quitters we use the desire to be a non/ex/former smoker to counter the need to smoke, for whatever personal reasons and using whatever methods. And I think that this desire somehow gets so baked into our subconscious over time, that the "want" itself diminishes. Its a change of heart from badly wanting to quit, to simply not wanting to smoke. I can't even remember what smoking was like now, so that helps reduce the "want" too.

    It would be good to revisit the question (of whether you want to smoke the occasional one) further down the line in your quit and see if you still fancy it, once weeks and months have passed. I hope you don't. And if you do, here's another angle - every relapse starts with one cigarette. If you think you can control it then you might be right. Who knows? But do you really need to know the answer? If there's even a 1% chance that one will lead to another, is that a chance you're prepared to take? Will you take that risk??

  • This thread has been an interesting read.

    What has happened to the OP though? I hope he wasn't trolling. :confused:

    (just seems a bit odd to start a potentially contentious discussion and then vanish..)

  • This thread has been an interesting read.

    What has happened to the OP though? I hope he wasn't trolling. :confused:

    (just seems a bit odd to start a potentially contentious discussion and then vanish..)

    Lots of different reasons the OP may not have posted again, perhaps they did not get the expected responses, perhaps they ae struggling with their quit and will be back later.

    Either way if they come back and read posts questioning if they are trolls this might put them off posting here again.

    Almost every new member is vetted so please if you think there is someone trolling or spamming press the report button do not post a response on the forum. The mod team have access to tools that are not available to the rest of the membership.

    I would hate for anyone to be put off posting on this forum for fear of being thought of as not being genuine..

  • I like threads like this :)

    when i first quit this last time i used to have in mind that if i got told that the world was going to end would i smoke and for a while my answer used to be yep why not im going to die anyway so why not go out smoking

    :eek::rolleyes::confused:

    but because of some amazing posts that ive read on this amazing place mostly from a certain someone ;) who helped me to change my mindset to smoking i started to change my way of thinking

    plus being part of the NOPE group is a life time commitment and i would want to spend my last days hours minutes with the people i love and care for and not having to say ops i need to pop outside to have a fag that will not give me any pleasure and that would just taste disgusting and i would stink way too much

    plus the biggest plus is my youngest grandson has never ever known me to be a smelly nanny and he never will :)

  • I would hate for anyone to be put off posting on this forum for fear of being thought of as not being genuine..

    Good point and apologies if I was being unfair. No offence meant.

  • Might sound daft, but I guess the difference between a quitter and a non/ex-smoker is that a full ex doesn't want to smoke - it's not appealing or attractive at all.

    It's a psychological thing.

  • Oh I don't know Karri, if we had the 4 minute warning yes I would rush towards my wife but only to snatch the fag from out of her mouth and we'd spend the last moments wrestling on the floor for it! Lol (only joking, you are of course right)

    Hahahaha! Funniest post of the day...FACT! :D :D :D

  • Well i think i've done it

    I appreciate all the comments on here, and sorry for not posting earlier, really focused on the no smoking and according to the phone app, as of now 52 days , and 1092 cigs not smoked. I went to the 'works' dance and did not have one as I suggested , and you guys are right , cant have any at all. For the first week, I made it the most important thing and everything took a back seat, there is no doubt that the feeling of 'sucking' in that first draw in the morning was brilliant, but pure and simple don't want to die :eek: Now doing a wee bit of exercise and enjoying food :) Bring it on guys

  • I appreciate all the comments on here, and sorry for not posting earlier, really focused on the no smoking and according to the phone app, as of now 52 days , and 1092 cigs not smoked. I went to the 'works' dance and did not have one as I suggested , and you guys are right , cant have any at all. For the first week, I made it the most important thing and everything took a back seat, there is no doubt that the feeling of 'sucking' in that first draw in the morning was brilliant, but pure and simple don't want to die :eek: Now doing a wee bit of exercise and enjoying food :) Bring it on guys

    You've made the right choice, and well done for 52 days smoke free!!

  • Well done Joebhoy- that's one fantastic achievement :)

  • Max's reply reminded me of.......

    Those occasions when everything and everybody was chilled, having a great time, you open your pack and :eek::eek::eek: it's empty!!!

    And then panic sets in and suddenly nerves are on edge, and everything will go pear shaped if you don't get your fix...

    You try to remain engaged with the moment, but, to be honest, your head is just overly busy figuring out:

    -are you the only smoker?

    -can you walk to a shop?

    -have you drank to much to drive to a shop?

    -can you get a taxi to deliver a pack?

    -do you have enough money to pay for this option?

    -is there even a signal for the mobile phone?

    ........and the moment is lost :(

    WOW - I don't want to be in that place EVER again:eek::eek:

  • Max's reply reminded me of.......

    Those occasions when everything and everybody was chilled, having a great time, you open your pack and :eek::eek::eek: it's empty!!!

    And then panic sets in and suddenly nerves are on edge, and everything will go pear shaped if you don't get your fix...

    You try to remain engaged with the moment, but, to be honest, your head is just overly busy figuring out:

    -are you the only smoker?

    -can you walk to a shop?

    -have you drank to much to drive to a shop?

    -can you get a taxi to deliver a pack?

    -do you have enough money to pay for this option?

    -is there even a signal for the mobile phone?

    ........and the moment is lost :(

    WOW - I don't want to be in that place EVER again:eek::eek:

    And I bet you any money, we all said smoking calmed us down!!

    Did it hell!!

  • Well done Joebhoy- that's one fantastic achievement :)

    Thanks Skiddaw, proud and happier, concentration coming back and weight now being targeted, days getting lighter and life is good Wasn't trolling though, and to show all you guys who say NOPE are right, for the first time yesterday got a waft of someone smoking a cigarette and hated the smell, used to love it

    KEEP IT GOING EVERYONE - IT REALLY IS WORTH IT, - HEALTH , MONEY, FEELGOOD, EXERCISE, SEX, :eek: AND SELF EGO :)

  • Max's reply reminded me of.......

    Those occasions when everything and everybody was chilled, having a great time, you open your pack and :eek::eek::eek: it's empty!!!

    And then panic sets in and suddenly nerves are on edge, and everything will go pear shaped if you don't get your fix...

    You try to remain engaged with the moment, but, to be honest, your head is just overly busy figuring out:

    -are you the only smoker?

    -can you walk to a shop?

    -have you drank to much to drive to a shop?

    -can you get a taxi to deliver a pack?

    -do you have enough money to pay for this option?

    -is there even a signal for the mobile phone?

    ........and the moment is lost :(

    WOW - I don't want to be in that place EVER again:eek::eek:

    Oh yeah been there, and the feeling of those failed attempts where, you convince yourself the next day no cigs and finish your last one the night before only to be rushing out to an all night garage at 5am the next morning to get that fix, bottom line is we are all junkies trying to get rid of a fix

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