Since there isn't a section for "I've Failed" I guess here is the best place:confused:
I have smoked 3 cigarettes.
Why did I fail?
I guess the reason doesn't really matter, let's call it domestic, an argument! Though I recognise this is the excuse rather than the reason.
Managed yesterday to retreat to bed and not smoke. Not today
What did I learn?
That I used this (not unforeseeable argument) as a convenient excuse to stop the quit and shift the blame.
That whilst I smoked the cigarettes I was very upset, making them symbolic of something they are not - they are just evil cancer sticks!!
That I made a stupid, no win mental bargain with myself as early as yesterday that IF things were fine when I got in from work I wouldn't smoke, if they weren't I would.....
That on the way home I bought a packet of 10 in anticipation of things being bad - which they were/are and in doing so set myself up to fail and subsequently did so!
That whatever my heart tells me, I'm only hurting me with this failure.
That I knew i wouldn't get much support so should have been better prepared.
I guess I draw a line and boot myself back to day 1 but optimism and self esteem are low at the moment, I don't want to get trapped in a week 1 circle :eek::eek:
Where has the woman from last Saturday gone???
Line drawn
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And re-focus
Mina
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