Woke up in fright this morning though.... I dreamed I was tidying up the house .....yep, you guessed it.... found a packet of ciggies while sweeping under the bed... it was very real, the anxiety was very real and the fright was very real too.
Straight out of bed and looked around to confirm that it indeed it was a dream. Horrible. My feet and hands feel warmer - so circulation is improving. I am well pleased. Previously one foot felt cool and it is such an annoying, distracting feeling. That foot now feel warm and lovely
Not sure what to do today - but I think I need to keep active. Was even thinking of attending a service but I am not so good at dodging thunderbolts.
I have noticed the cravings are getting further apart - but they are still quite intense when they come. Determined to stay clean folks. I refuse to fail. It is such a disgusting, pointless, expensive habit. I think about cigarette company executives holidaying in homes I HAVE PAID FOR. Makes my blood boil. I am certainly getting a bug up my a** regarding cigarette companies - hmmmm perhaps it's time to start writing them letters, using snail mail so they need to aknowledge receipt.
Here they are folks:
British American Tobacco Australia
Locked Bag 6000
Potts Point
NSW 1335
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I think the server went down shortly after I posted yesterday - coincidence? I began to feel panicky about not being able to access the forum - but did some deep breathing and told myself that was not an excuse to have a ciggie!
Trudged through the day - still determined not to break my quit. Was well pleased when I completed Day 4 smoke free
Woke up this morning famished (Day 5) having an omelette with mushrooms, tomatoes and some fetta cheese - drooling as it was cooking..... So different from. being a smoker where the thought of food in the morning would make me feel ill - and I could only manage a strong cup of brewed coffee and like a thousand cigarettes...
I can smell now - and it's not all good news. Drains, BO, cigarettes, fast fried food, bins out the back of shops - what a stench! Even the dog got a bath yesterday and J am spending the day cleaning at home....
It certainly is a voyage of discovery - I had no idea I was living in the land of Pong :eek: I think I will put some Vicks in my bag to sniff in times of emergency *sigh*
You're dead right Kat. I visited my usual viet noodle house yesterday - ordering the same pho as always - It was not the same.... I live a couple of kms from the centre of town so hard to find some fresh air. I did walkpast a chappie mowing his lawn yesterday as well - and stopped to have a smell....
Cravings are further apart - but vicious wbhen they come through. No matter how stoic I try to be - it's still wearing. I just hope my tenacity outlives the cravings.
Nonetheless my chest is feeling better, no wheezing, but head still feels a certain 'stuffiness'. Does that clear up too? Haven't been game to have any booze - and seriously considering giving that up as well for a spell...
You're doing brilliantly. One day at a time is the only way to take it and it sounds trite but the early days are the hardest overall.
I've had, and still have from time to time, very, very vivid dreams about either still smoking or starting again. The feeling of relief on waking is quite amazing.
oh and its amazing what smells you used to like when you smoked that you dont anymore i used to have 2 fav perfumes that i used when i smoked but cant stand the smell of them anymore :eek: one especially just makes me feel sick
Thank-you all. Only a few hours before Day 5 is done As mentioned in my earlier posts today, the cravings come on suddenly and are quite intense - BUT at the same time, I also have the occasional 15-30 minute blocks where I DON'T THINK ABOUT SMOKING AT ALL - and only realise its absence when the next crave slyly sneaks in. Esso, I get what you're saying - I can only tackle each here and now - and forever, well it is just a bunch of heres and nows
I have spent a lot of time out of the house and visited places where you can't smoke. I think that is important because it really keeps temptation to a minimum. Keep moving, keep occupied. Movies, shopping centres, museum, libraries etc. Anyone I spotted smoking in the street whilst in transit, I would cross the road to avoid. I think if I had stayed at home - I would have talked myself into failure.... So glad I am here instead
Good on you, Witchy. You're doing SO well. I really, really admire your determination and committment. I could never have done it the way you are doing it.
Thank-you all. Only a few hours before Day 5 is done As mentioned in my earlier posts today, the cravings come on suddenly and are quite intense - BUT at the same time, I also have the occasional 15-30 minute blocks where I DON'T THINK ABOUT SMOKING AT ALL - and only realise its absence when the next crave slyly sneaks in. Esso, I get what you're saying - I can only tackle each here and now - and forever, well it is just a bunch of heres and nows
I have spent a lot of time out of the house and visited places where you can't smoke. I think that is important because it really keeps temptation to a minimum. Keep moving, keep occupied. Movies, shopping centres, museum, libraries etc. Anyone I spotted smoking in the street whilst in transit, I would cross the road to avoid. I think if I had stayed at home - I would have talked myself into failure.... So glad I am here instead
Well done Witchy!!
It's great you're getting time now where you're not thinking about fags - hope you get more and more of them
Skiddaw - I am sticking with it because I am terrified of the alternative. I'll be damned if I am going to die an addict - as someone on another website said - "lung cancer isn't one of the sexy cancers - and doesn't elicit much sympathy or support". I joined a forum on my previous quit - there was a lovely man there who was also quitting and got to 100 days smoke free. As part of his 100 day quit he went to the dr for a checkup only to find he had terminal lung cancer. Some weeks later his children posted his passing on that forum - as he had wanted - it was utterly heartbreaking. That's what kept me quit that time. Running into a girlfriend I hadn't seen in 30 years (who is a smoker) is what got me started again. I thought I could have just one - you know - to be sociable - what an idiot.
And I know exactly what you mean about the feeling of playing Russian roulette with your health. I spent so many nights lying awake worrying about what I was doing to myself. It suddenly all seemed ridiculously silly.
Good morning and thank-you Princess. This is day 6 and New Years' Eve. I kinda like the milestones tying in the way they have.... At least I won't have to bother with a New Year resolution!
I have been following your progress and your posts are so sweet. You go girl!
IMHO running is overrated - you never see smiling runners
Karri - I was just thinking the same thing. Our kiwi friends will be first off the blocks, then us Aussies.
Another thought I had (yes I know, they're coming thick n fast this morning - lol) is how come people that join these forums always seem so genuine, so sweet and kind? I wonder whether we are social lambs to the social wolves...
My sister has never smoked - and whilst I love her dearly - I also know she will walk over anyone that gets in the way. I never seemed to have that capacity. Rather than retaliate to being treated poorly - I would just light a ciggie and avoid the confrontation.
well done on your quit so far, I shudder when I read new quitters posts as it brings back memories of the early days-which goes to show it does get so much easier!
Thanks Lucy. Off to my parents for NYE - they're well into their 80's - faculties slipping a bit - but functionally fine - makes for interesting dinner conversations - my Dad (ex-smoker) calls it as he sees it these days - and Mum just keeps repeating herself - it is usually a hoot to listen to....
Brought some Xmas lilies today - can't wait for them to open so I can smell it through the house. Cost a lot less than a pack of ciggies. In fact, quite a few things cost less than ciggies these days....We've had another price increase here - so a pack costs the equivalent of £13! The lilies only cost £6
I remember buying ciggies for my Dad when I was a kid in the '70's. The cost then was about 37p. My my.
I didn't write about this yesterday - but in going to my parents house - in a whim, I made a detour to wish HNY to some of the old people in the same neighbourhood whose kids I went to school with many years ago.
I couldn't specifically remember which houses - so took pot luck and rang a doorbell - I figured if I got the wrong house - the owner may know who I was looking for.
I got the right house. The elderly owner was delighted to see me - and excitedly told me her son (the class clown I went to primary school with) was also there. Expecting to see a vibrant mid 40's man - I was surprised to see he had aged considerably and was frail and unsteady.
He explained he had recently undergone an operation for lung cancer and the subsequent chemo and radiotherapy had really knocked him around. He had another operation to undergo and was hoping that would be the last one. I tried to be cheerful but was dying inside.
Folks, my schoolfriend has NEVER smoked. This was no coincidence - I got the message loud and clear.
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I live a couple of kms from the centre of town so hard to find some fresh air. I did walkpast a chappie mowing his lawn yesterday as well - and stopped to have a smell....
