Bad Timing

I don't think a weekend gets much worse than the one I had. My Girlfriend's best friend, our friend, was in the hospital last week in a coma due to organ failure and pneumonia. His family decided to take him off life support on Friday. So of course we went to be with him to say goodbye as he passed on. Then we decide to go have a few drinks, then we have some more, and naturally we get into a huge argument in the middle of the night. Saturday goes by pretty uneventfully except for the lingering sadness of the previous day. Then come Sunday morning my Girlfriend's Brother calls and tells us that her Dad passed away sometime that night.

Now we have to travel 900 miles away to go to the funeral and take care of any paperwork and family matters during one of the busiest travel holidays of the year, Thanksgiving (I realize this is a U.S. holiday and you may not know what it is.) Oh yes, and we are traveling with a 3 month old infant.

I haven't really had the urge to smoke, but this is going to be the test of all tests. Wish me luck, I'll be back sometime next week.

5 Replies

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and your girlfriend's Dad; these losses are so hard to cope with. The near future will be very difficult for you both, but you will get through this and things will get easier as the days go by. That may sound cliched, but it is the truth.

    My thoughts are with you both and I am sending you kind and best wishes.



  • Thank you both for your kind and supportive words. Debbie, that's what I needed to hear. I know I won't smoke either but everything is just so unnerving.

    By the way, both of these men were smokers. Her friend was 51, and her father was 67. I'd attribute her friend's death more to alcoholism, but I'm sure smoking didn't help. Her father had a stroke around 10 years ago from drinking, quit drinking but continued to smoke, even in a handicapped state. I am sure that smoking contributed to his death, whether it was another stroke or heart attack that ultimately killed him.

  • Bless you, what a horrible situation, I lost my uncle and father in law within days of each other just after I'd been made redundant from my job. I can honestly say it hit me like a freight train. I will be thinking of you and sending hugs across the pond.

  • Hi M2. If you can get through that weekend then you have every chance of coping with other trauma's. So sorry for all your losses over the weekend and I hope the journey and funeral go as well as can be expected.x

  • I'm back :)

    Thanks to everyone who sent their condolences this past week, it really means a lot to me.

    It was quite a difficult week with the travel delays, the funeral, and my girlfriend's family who, most of them, smoke. I have to admit that I wanted to join them and be a part of the group and smoke, but I think I have put up some sort of mental barrier to the idea of smoking. It must to be working because it has kept me quit for this long already. I'm proud to say that I will be 5 full months quit next week. My smoker's brain tells me "Hey, there are some cigarettes, you could have one of those. It will be good." But then my non-smoker brain pipes up and says,"No, it won't be that good, and I don't want to be a smoker again."

    The decision has become easy. When I was a smoker the decision was almost automatic, like driving in a way. Your body reacts instinctively to its surroundings and automatically does what it needs to do to follow the rules and stay safe. It was simple just get a pack, light a cig, and smoke it. The answer was always Yes. Quitting was the big decision, every cigarette after is a small decision. I know this isn't the way everyone views smoking and quitting, but it has been working for me so I'm sticking to it. Every encounter is still a decision for me, I'm just glad to finally be on the other side where the decision is easy, and the answer is No.

    If I still smoked the past 5 months, my answer would have been Yes and astounding 1500 times. I didn't have to say no that many times because after quitting, you don't have as many encounters.

    On another note, traveling with my daughter was pretty tough since she is only 3 months old. She was really good while flying, and I'm pretty sure she got us upgraded to 1st class after waiting on standby for a flight for 2+ hours. I'm glad to be home and to be able to reflect on the events that have passed. Thanks again for all of your support.

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