I feel so incredibly selfish and stupid!!

I posted a thread earlier, I was feeling fed up and having craves on my day 37......I wondered onto whyquit, and read a few stories. omg, im so angry with myself :mad:

How can I be so selfish and ****** stupid!!?? :confused: My head is screaming at me "Its a crave, and considering some of the stories you just read, its nothing compared to things others have gone and are going through thanks to the s@#t your craving!!!!"

I know its hard, but Ive told myself not to let the craves beat me, or get to me, which is what they have done today. Its left me feeling totally down.....not now! I will not allow a box of chemicals and paper to leave me feeling like I have today, and the last few days!! My god I could really cry right now! Im totally gutted that ive allowed it to take over me today!!

10 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Thankyou :o

    It really got me down today, I just couldnt brush the crave aside so it took over. When I read some of the stories, well, I just felt horrendous.

    Im angry cos I allowed the crave room. I wont be doing that again!! My guard is up high :). I need to focus more on my reasons, and not let them slide away from my thoughts

  • Hey dont get angery about how your feeling! be mindful of it though. . Your not being disrespectful to them on whyquit.com if thats what your worried about?? Your an ex drug addict your going to crave it, doesnt mean you want to smoke. Its going to take awhile for you subconcious to catch up. Stop beating yourself up and chill out abit xxxx

  • What Lostie said! ^^ :) Rant all you want magicmom, there's not one person here who doesn't (or at least shouldn't) empathise with this level of emotion. Heaven knows when I was at your stage I was still leaving fingernail dents in everything. :eek: No-one said it was easy, but day 37 is a really good achievement so far. Well done and keep it going!

    This phase is hard work though as quite frankly the novelty has worn off, you're used to not physically smoking but the dependence to an extent and psychological triggers are still there (I think I read you're using patches??)

    I've seen somewhere that the brain takes 6-12 weeks from complete nicotine cessation to return to a normal state of affairs (will dig out and post a pic if you like) so you're part way through this process and it will get easier.

    In time you might not even notice it happening. Hooray!

    Keep it up! :)

  • Be cool Magicmom, your quit is your quit, give yourself credit for that, and as the others have said, rant and post away, you're doing just fine a you are ;)

  • You can do it

    The good news its tough alone on times but as a group we are stronger than the Nicodemon all our wills together are unbeatable so it just goes to show how determined you are by having your rant with the people who care for you and now you can live on smoke free and you will be in the position to help other's when they are having a struggle the next time a crave comes along take a look at your legs and try to decide which one you are prepared to lose to light up a killer stick.

  • Thankyou Guys!!!

    Im feeling much more with it today!! Still got the niggle, but hey, its one of them!

    Im carrying on with a slightly more venomous determination....I really dont want to allow these "niggles" to take over like they did yesterday. I genuinely felt terrible, knowing I was getting tetchy on a crave whilst so many others have been suffering. My OH says its because Ive not got a selfish bone...and thats why it got to me so bad yesterday...I cried, really cried. I felt awful.

    Nikki; I did feel bad, I felt awful knowing I was getting fed up over a crave, when there are so many others that suffering much worse.

    But as Lostie and AngryBear said, this is my quit....and im going to take everything it wants to throw at me and (try at least) keep myself strong! I wont allow it to win. Ive done better than I ever have with this quit, and ive enjoyed it too...I do get a buzz when I count my days.

    Hawkeye, Thanks for that! It helps to know why its happening. Ive told myself Ill allow today as the last day to feel this way, and then Im not allowing it! lol

    I want to quit. I dont want to relapse, and for once Im going to have what I want!!! lol :D So, here goes with day 38 and a renewed feeling of "Im ok!"

  • Hi magicmom so glad you have woken up feeling more determined to keep this quit

    there are going to be times when your tested but as long as you keep focused on the bigger pic and try keeping a positive mood you will beat that smoking demon inside

    coming on here and posting when you are struggling is one of the best ways to help you get through it as there is always someone around to offer support and encoragement

    way to go

    :D

    38 days

    :D

    is a great achievement

    onwards and upwards is the only way to go

    :)

    Carol

  • Thankyou:)

    I have everyone on this forum and a wonderful OH and a very determined 6 year old daughter to keep me this way! If I even mention a ciggie my little girl scowls at me!! lol

    I have found this place a godsend for motivation, information, understanding and laughs!! Im on here daily now, not always posting but reading and such

  • Thankyou Karri!

    It took a good cry last night (felt really silly! :o) but my OH made me all better :).

  • Whyquit is good for that, which is why is a great resource.

    Don't be down on yourself, embrace the emotions which it generated and know that if you succumbed then it would feel 10 times worse.

You may also like...