Agggrrrhhh

My head is so fried :(

Been doing a lot of reading to prepare myself to try again, the fear i'm feeling this time is unreal although I do want to stop.

Everything says, pick a quit date, so I think right plan for tomorrow, then I think thats too soon, am I really in the right head space.

I so desparately want to get this right but my heads messed up, I want to be ready and give it a proper go this time but the doubts creep in, am I diving in to quick, I dont want to fail again but I think if i dont get back on the wagon, i'm going to sink deeper and give up trying.

I think whats got me most of all is that I have to want to do this. I do want to do this but then the thoughts in my head make me question myself - "are you sure you want to, you've failed so many times'.

I think I need to stop fearing the voice and go for it! I think i'm still waiting for some kind of eureka moment when really I just need to do it and realise its only me can make it happen.

I hate this ****** addiction, not only have I started again, the mental torture of stopping again is back with a vengence!

GIVE MY HEAD PEACE!!!

17 Replies

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  • Oh poor you Mrs M ((hugs))

    Have you got a smoking cessation nurse you can see or maybe your doctor to give you some advice?

    xx

  • Hi Gemma. Have the docs on Thursday but the only thing he gives is Champix but I don't want that! Might call to the chemist and sign up for the program again although I don't think the really give much advice other than do you need more nrt?? Lol

  • Hi Gemma. Have the docs on Thursday but the only thing he gives is Champix but I don't want that! Might call to the chemist and sign up for the program again although I don't think the really give much advice other than do you need more nrt?? Lol

    Ooh I didn't know they were so useless :/

    Never been to a stop smoking place in my life so I don't know what they do!! How about a local support group?

    And i know it's difficult hun but do try not to stress it or you'll end up feeling really rubbish :(

  • Yeah I thought they offered more too but ahh well!

    Just do fed up with it all Gemma, think I'm going to give it another bash starting tomorrow felt so much happier when I was trying at least!

  • Try not to get so wound up, easier said than done I know, but, all this is doing is feeding the self doubt and anxiety. Take a deep breath and choose one guru to follow, information overload can often do more harm than good and conflicting advice will only feed the anger as subconsciously you'll be debating the different points presented. Don't make your date too far off in the future as it will only give you time to talk yourself out of it but give yourself just enough time to feel prepared. Have you tried ringing the NHS smoking helpline, I'm not 100% sure as the services in Wales are slightly different, but I think they may be able to help a little more than the quack. I am so cross that they don't seem to want to help you :mad: What a lot of "never smoked in my life" docs and nurses don't seem to realise is that smoking isn't just a habit but a way of life and we have to address that too.

  • questions to ask yourself Mrs M:

    Why do I want to quit? - now i know there is the generic 'better health, more money' but be very specific eg 'get rid of this cough'. what is the one thing smoking does to you that you dont want anymore? I think when you have something very specific it will make it so much easier becuase in those moments of 'why do i put myself throgh this' you will know why!

    Secondly, whats not working for me? - It doesnt sound like NRT works for you Mrs M, I said it last time and its the only method ive seen you try. Are you not ready to say goodbye to nicotine? I can understand why, my mum who is 57 is terrified of the thought, she will lob herself at ecigs but not even contemplate cold turkey, she knows shes a drug addict and well....its all shes known most of her life. Its scary Mrs M, you have to have blind faith you will feel better the other side but accept you will feel like crud for up to 3/4 weeks.

    I dont think you should through yourself into a quit, I think you should really think about these things and start when you can honestly say 'im ready no matter how crud i feel or how much i crave...I just dont want this anymore'! which can be whenever you like.

    Good luck Mrs M I really am rooting for you :) xxxxx

  • There is no easy way to quit smoking. Nothing you can do will make it easy.

    Having said that, it won't be the end of the world either. You're going to feel rubbish, it's just the nature of the beast.

    It certainly won't be for 3-4 weeks though. After my first week I was well and truly over the worst and from then on, it just got easier and easier each day.

    The sooner you start quitting, the sooner it's over and you'll be free. Bite the bullet and get on with it.

  • Thanks for putting up with me!

    You lot really are amazing, thanks!

    Yep, really think I've a case of information overload!

    I think I've tried it all Nikki to be honest, champix - wouldn't go back there!, ct lasted three weeks and then other nrt, also tried the Ecig but I won't be using it next time as for it it was keeping the association going!

    My real issue is my mind, think that's my biggest obstacle which I need to conquer !

    Xx

  • Mrs M. Good luck when you do get on the wagon again.

    I am sure I have missed it this time. But under what circumstances did you give away your quit last time ? Was it drink induced ?

    Sometimes I think a lot of losing a quit is to do with a given situation. Like stress or success or drink or after a cold. Basically times when we would have naturally pumped up our usage of the drug and so the body naturally craves it more when put in these situations.

    I am definitely one for sticking my head in the sand and absolutely avoiding all major triggers and only exposing myself in a controlled way and only when I feel comfortable. In reality that meant no drinks for me for a long time and definitely even now I avoid getting stupid drunk. All very sensible. I also avoided stress for ages and cancelled on lots of stressful meetings until I was ready.

    Basically I committed to doing absolutely everything possible to stay quit. No exceptions.

    Good luck and we will be here when you're ready.

    Paul

  • Hi Paul, yes it was mix of stress and I was heading out that night so I just gave it away again. Head had been up my a** most of the week do by the time sat came I thought f**k it - I know I'm an idiot!!

    You've hit the nail on the head, my big problem is lack of commitment and sticking to my decision no matter what.

    I look forward to a drink at the weekend, it's kind of a release/treat after a week of work so I think why should I have to give that up too which is why I still allow myself to have the drink. Clearly I need to find another treat!

  • Mrs M. You did make me laugh. You don't have to give anything up you don't want to.

    But yes. Maybe some abstinence until your quit is in the net. Basically give up three months of your weekends and dedicate them to your quit and you'll get those extra three months and more at the other end of you life ?

    Just re-read that and it sounds harsh. It was how I looked on it and it helped me a lot in sacrificing everything for my quit. And now honestly I feel better for the general healthy person I have became.. So a win/win I can honestly say I do not miss a single one of those drinks I missed....

    Take care Mrs M. Just don't give up giving up.

    Paul

  • Hey Mrs M, my advice would be to keep it as simple as possible. So don't set dates or put times on things, just stop smoking as soon as possible, preferably NOW, for as little at a time as it takes, and stick to this forum like it's your lifeboat. That's it.

    So if you need to take it an hour at a time, or a day, then do that. There's no fear in that, no-one's saying don't smoke ever again, just don't for now. That's how I did it (and I can only speak from my own experience) and the days rack up faster than you'd think.

    Don't put it off if it's what you want. It isn't easy, it does take effort but keep it simple and uncluttered, and you know this forum's here for you, it really is the best aid you'll have, b*gger the e-cigs :p

  • MrsM

    Lot of sound advice again in these posts. I personally would try go down the abstaining from booze route just till your quit is stronger. I know a lot us us on here found the booze trigger hard to deal with so quite a lot of us decided 'why put ourselves through that' scenario.

    Baby steps, mind in right place, don't think this is for ever, just take things one hour at a time if necessary. And before you know it the hours will be days and weeks and then next year!

    Fi x

  • i say pick a day asap and stick to it .one hour at a time or less if u have to if you are going to use nrt just make sure u beleive it will help otherwise find another alternative. ask yourself what benefits smoking has, for me its zilch. What are the benefits of quitting for you? , be specific . for me it was that i didnt want to stink anymore (even 1 a day smokers smell vile) but my main reason was i dont want to do something thats just about pure addiction and nowt else . and the thought of the b********d gov making a fortune out of us is enough to make me say no thanks I really don't like being a slave cos that's what smoker are. we smoke to avoid the withdrawals of the last cigarette. simples. keep your money and put 2 fingers up to tobacco and all those corrupt *******s that profit from it. i hope u do it sooner rather than later. Its not a sacrifice its just wanting something much better.

    Mx

  • I agree with Max Mrs Mash. Over the last few months I have more quit dates than you could shake a stick at. I got into a state each time and only lasted around an hour or so. I didn't even plan to quit this Monday, just got up and decided that was it. No preparation, or thought process just snapped the ciggies and threw them and the lighter in the bin then threw that bag into the wheelie bin, got showered and dressed and went to work. Never posted on here until day 2, I just knew it was time. The more pressure you put on yourself the more likely you are to fail. Try not to think about it too much just do it, good luck in whatever method you choose, I'm sure you will do just fine

  • Sorry to hear that, but you CAN do it. I think you need to go with the flow and just stop, you can do the reading, the planning etc, whilst on the journey, you have experience behind you to know your triggers, avoid them, but do it.

    I am sure you can do it and we are waiting here for you.

    Good luck!!!

  • Thanks folks

    Thanks for you're messages, I have gone away and chilled out about it, although my mind keeps saying start today, start tomorrow but I'll know when I'm ready.

    I've been trying to fight a number of battles at the one time, smoking, weight and coming off my anti d's but I'm giving myself a break and will choose one journey at a time! Smoking will be the first one as that's most important!

    I seen my doc in Thursday and told me about a smoking cessation group which runs every Monday so think I'm going to call in after work on Monday, I may decide to go for it or I may not but sure what's the harm in going to find out what it's all about :)

    Hope I can still stick round even though I haven't quit yet, I think this is helping me prepare and reading others posts are encouraging xx

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