I haven't posted anything in a while but decided to check in today.
One of my co-workers who is around 60 quit cold turkey last year and stayed quit for the whole year. Just the other day I saw him outside smoking and couldn't resist walking up to him and saying "Wally, (not his real name) I thought you quit smoking a long time ago. What happened?" His reply to me was, "Well you know, one weekend I bummed a couple, then the next weekend I bummed a couple more, and now I'm a smoker again. Before this I hadn't smoked for a year." We then proceeded to have a conversation about the dangers of having just one and addictive personalities.
I know that I am the type that if I have one, I will have many, and I will go back to smoking full time. Some people can somehow get away with being "social" smokers, but not me, and not most people. Any amount of smoking will lead to more smoking at some point or another and it's up to each person to decide if that is acceptable. I decided that I don't want to be smoking at all and that's what I will do.
So I'm right around 3 months quit now and feel like I have good control over my addiction. I'm going to be real with you, I still like ciggarettes. I like the way they made me feel, and I liked the routine. I like the smell of it when other people are smoking. When people get up to go outside to smoke, I want to go with them. When people light up outside when having some beers, I want to be them. I loved the social side of smoking.
Those are the things I miss. What I don't miss is smoking everywhere. I don't miss lighting up every single time I get in my car, smoking after dinner, making up excuses to myself, or anyone else, to have a smoke, having my lungs hurt after a night out or exercising or just generally every morning. I don't miss having to make special stops or running out to the store specifically to get ciggarettes. I don't miss the yellow stains on my fingers, or if stink up the office, or if I smell bad when I kiss my girlfriend when I walk in the door.
The point is that I can't just pick and choose the times I want to be a smoker or non-smoker, it really is all or nothing. I know that many of you feel the same way about it. I've chosen to say no to smoking, all the time, every day, every situation, so that I can live a healthy life.
Thanks for reading if you made it all the way to the end!