This is the first time I've ever talked about my addiction on a real level. If you feel like this post is too long, by no means are you obligated to read it - I just want to share my experience in as much detail as possible so I can look back to it at a later date to see how far I've come. Let me give you a little information about who I am and my smoking history. No, I'm not a veteran-smoker. Although I do share the same downfall as one; I'm addicted. I'm 19 and have been smoking since October 2008. "Five years? That's nothing. Try smoking a pack and-a-half a day for twenty years!" Let me break it down to numbers - some very estimated, yet terrifying numbers. Assuming each cigarette takes 5 minutes off of your life, and assuming my smoking addiction increased a set percentage every year I've taken off 133900 minutes of my life thus far. That's 26780 cigarettes x 5 minutes, or 2231.7 hours, or 93 days. The more I enter into my adulthood, the more I realize that time is a valuable thing. Let alone my family-genetics are notorious for Cancers of all forms.
I started smoking when I was 14. My parents moved me from a big city to a small country town. How did I "get back at them"? By smoking. Isn't that great logic? "My mom smokes, she can't stop me!" Well, the joke's on me because this is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. Smoking was my stress relief, my coping mechanism, something to do when I was bored, it helped me think, it relaxed me, it was my reward for going an hour without a cigarette. Nowadays smoking is viewed as such a dirty thing. It's most definitely not the norm anymore. Out of a group of 12 friends, I was the only one who smoked.
I've tried to quit smoking before. I did want to quit, but I just didn't have a reason to. This time's different; my reason is now "why not?" What do I have to lose by quitting smoking? Not a DAMN thing. I guess the fear of change is what held me back the past attempts. I mean, it's become such a daily part of my life for so long. It's the one thing that's always been there for me. I don't like feeling controlled by a substance (I guess that's why they call it addiction). It got to the point where all I could think about was when I could have my next cigarette, would I have time to fit one in between point-A and point-B, and if not I'd take a detour just so I could. I felt trapped.
This is what has brought me to the conclusion that it is time to quit before it gets out of hand.
Day One - Overview
In all honesty, I thought today would have been a lot harder. Before I went home last night, I had my last cigarette and threw out the rest of my pack along with my lighters. I had the best sleep I've had in a while. When I woke up, I woke up with the determination that TODAY IS THE DAY. It's the start of the month so it's an easy date to remember.
I wore the NicoDerm 2mg patch all day. That was part of my reasoning for not smoking, "I can't have a cigarette today because I'm wearing the patch." The patch, coupled along with a pack of gum, straws and breathmints really got me through the day. Yes, I wanted a cigarette. I would have killed for a cigarette. I even forced myself to sit with someone while they had a cigarette - yes it was a big risk. I could have smoked. I was so proud of myself that it didn't even cross my mind.
I guess I'm just posing on here to share my experiences with others, but I do need support as well. Day 3 or 4 may not be as easy as Day 1. If you took the time to read my novel of a post, I sincerely thank-you. This is the first time I've talked about my addiction without defending it. Any advice or tips that you use(d) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again for reading!